Its FINALLY December....

Its finally december, I've been looking forward to this month and yet dreading it at the same time.... looking forward coz Xmas is round the corner and my dearest Grace would be back soon... dreading it coz today is the last day of performance for Mamma Mia... and I haven't got the chance to watch it.... I guess it doesn't matter anymore.... There's Faith.... But I'm still an ABBA fan.... Love their songs, they just fit into my life story perfectly.... in fact, I think their songs fit into almost everyone else's life perfectly.... A few weeks ago, I was just listening to The Winner Takes It All....

I don't wanna talk
About the things we've gone through
Though it's hurting me
Now it's history
I've played all my cards
And that's what you've done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That's her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking i belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking i'd be strong there
But i was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should i complain

But tell me does she kiss
Like i used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know i miss you
But what can i say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don't wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And i understand
You've come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all......

Well, its still playing as my voicemail greeting, its a really nice song.... here's a current good song, frequently running through my mind....

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything i see
I believe in angels
When i know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - i have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything i see
I believe in angels
When i know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - i have a dream
I'll cross the stream - i have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything i see
I believe in angels
When i know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream - i have a dream
I'll cross the stream - i have a dream

Nice song isn't it? well... got to go for now....

Care Bear Test

I just did a care bear test that was sent to me a long time ago....

http://www.drudabear.com/quiz.htm

results were:

Cheer Bear - You eternal optimist, you. You like it when everyone is happy and nobody is left out. You're one of those cool people who tries to include everyone. You're a happy, bubbly, bouncy kind of person.

Good Luck Bear - You are very impulsive. You tend to believe that luck will come your way and it usually does! You put alot of trust in faith and luck.

Love-a-lot Bear - You're a hopeless romantic! You're probably the type to play match-maker with all your friends. You love to be in-love and you're a very loveable person.

Hmmm... certain areas are pretty true I would say.... anyway, I was juz going thru my old emails and I read the one Denise typed to me back in April.... It was to tell me that she wasn't gonna come back to the biz.... As I was reading the email that was sent to me almost 8 mths ago, many things came to mind.... Suddenly I was thankful to this biz.... Finally, something that could make Denise contact me and our friendship got closer.... Then there were couples that sprouted while in the biz, like Mich Ling and Richard, and Denise and Ben then.... well, Nic and I broke up and now there's Derrick and me.... Coming to think about it, time really flies, Derrick and I have been together for slightly more than 5 months now, and when Denise sent me that email 8 months ago, things were very, very different and its pretty scary knowing that things can change so vastly within such a short period of time.... I think too many things have happened within this period of time and it has taken its toll on me... I'm juz taking a day as it comes, even when it comes to my relationship.... Its partly my fault that things are such.....

For me, right now, biz has already taken a back seat and things between Derrick and I are looking much better.... I'm enjoying my time in StarHub right now, my colleagues are a great bunch of people and did I forget to mention that Denise is also one of my colleagues? It really seems like I can't get her out of my life can I? Maybe I can, but I just don't want to.... Maybe its fate.... maybe, maybe, maybe.....

Ok, enough thoughts for now... Tomorrow, I'll be joining a new team that I've never met before.... Wish me luck....

9 days after my birthday...

Like Grace said, turning 21 ain't a big deal, u're simply just getting older.... well.... couldn't hold the party at the poolside coz the damned manager thought it was gonna rain and refused to take the risk... turned out? perfect weather, windy yet without the rain... damn it.... nvm.... I shall not think about it anymore, its already over anyway.... A misunderstanding happened between Angel and me, well, it sure din help things between Ryan and her.... This time, I really have to admit, maybe I dun understand Angel as much as I thought I did.... Then again, people change all the time.... Grace, how much I wished you could have been here at my party, well, if only u din have exams in Aussie.... Anyway, some of my birthday pics are up, just go to http://michling.multiply.com k? I love u, thanks for the birthday sms! really appreciate it.... waiting for your return in Dec....

Aaaahhh!!

Its All Souls Day today.... and I'm in training room again.... Now, the big news... There's a Final Assessment tomorrow!!! and its closed book.... Got that final exam feeling and the passing grade is 85%.... Feeling the stress slowly kick in already and I was thinking of going to concourse to shop for my bday decors... looks like it'll have to be on hold.... Think I'll have to make a trip home to get my books first and study for my paper tmrw... feeling like a student again sux.... haha...

Sianzz....

Its Operations Familiarisation Day 1 and its raining outside... Couldn't sleep last night, so now I'm damn tired.... There are many things on my mind, and I have no idea how to sort them out.... I'm so tired I can't even think and talk properly.... I'm stoning in class, my mind is somewhere else.... I'm feeling down, grumpy and cold.... I only managed to fall asleep ard 3am, woke up at 6.30am... This sux.... ........... argh..... ah.... wateva.....

Hmmm...

Wow, its been a long time since I typed in my blog.... my comp died and I haven't been at home much so, no choice......

Recently, many things happened, well, things happened for a reason I guess, I've been with StarHub for slightly more than a month now and now its training period... Well, recently during a training session, some trainees from the other branch came over to join us and I partnered with this guy Darren.... hmmm... Let's just say that either he's over-friendly or I'm over-sensitive... anyway, he just totally reminds me of Vicsen, just shorter....

Its sad as I type my blog with a heavy heart, not so much coz of Derrick, more of unneccessary conversations held abt me by non-related people.... then again, I don't run their miserable life so no comments and nothing they say will have an effect on me.... Its sad coz pple who have only been in my life for a certain period in time claim to know me very well, hmmm... let's juz say that insensitive and self-opinionated people can never know someone else well not especially since its only for a short period in time....

and Grace, I wasn't talking abt Angel in that paragraph.... Lots of things have happened since u left for Aussie again.... you're the only person that can totally understand where I'm coming from and advise me objectively, some others just have stupid philosophies.... *throws hands up in air*

Memories...

I went home the other day, surprisingly, I found a file which I thought was long lost already... this file contains lyrics of plenty of hymns.... it seemed like a sign which meant I would be needing it again, but somehow I didn't figure it out completely. I ran through all the hymns that I can still remember....

Recently, a good friend of mine is going through some rough patches in her life, then I remembered, the hymn that kept me going during my time of rough patch.... Girl, this is for you.

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey
I don't worry o'er the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I'll walk beside him
For he knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

;) forgot the tune already? haha, ask me.... Anyway, its thanks to Lucius that I've got this file of lyrics, its got all my fav inside. okok enough liaoz.... time to orr orr liaoz....

Its Friday...

I was soooo pissed yesterday... My 'dearest' 'best' 'fwen' seems like she's really itching for some kind of a yelling from me... I think its kinda obvious WHOM I'm talking about here.... ok, juz forget about yesterday's incident.... This Sat, Andrea and Cindy are celebrating their birthday together, Denise and I will be going... I sure hope that 'she' doesn't give me a chance to diss her off in the face.... I've had ENUFF.... Think my skin tone sux... thanx to swimming in the sun... shall stay indoors more often.... Muz regain my fair tones again... argh... so irritating... I think I'm PMSing again.... I feel very irritable.... So idiots, pls dun do stupid things to irritate me further.... *SuLkZ*

Weds....

Well well.... its Weds again... hmmm, tried to go swimming juz now, but only did 2 laps... haha, i juz din wanna get 'chao tahed'... haha, wat a coincidence, coz at the pool, i bumped into Glenn, the owner of the shop where i alwiz get Tiffany's stuffs from! and he was like:" eh, Michelle!" so paiseh, din recognise him coz of his goggles on his head! haha, coming to think about it, he's pretty cute and he's got a nice build and a nice tan..... hehe, nah.... my heart's still stuck somewhere.... anyway, i managed to rush home in time to watch 'Charmed'!!! ah.... my life's gonna change from next week onwards.... its time to start planning birthday celebrations!! ah..... wat a headache.... better rest early tonight... going swimming in the morning tmrw!!!

Guilty....

Feeling guilty... very guilty.... Wanted so much to go for the adoration and healing session at Novena today, but when we got there, it was too packed, didn't have a place to park the vehicle.... So we gave it a miss...

Seems like recently I've been doing alot of thinking, many thoughts came to mind and I think I've had enough... Time's up... Got to get my acts together, got to get moving, time to get things done.... Anyway, got to go do some typing.... I'm juz counting down the days when Ryan would be back.... ;) Denise, thanks for everything....

Hmmmm.....

Hmmm... Derrick and I attended 4.45pm Mass today back at OLPS, it gave me a good feeling, I was elated that finally, someone's accompanying me for Mass, anyway, bumped into a few people like Roy, Gerald, Jo and Vincent. After Mass, Derrick and I headed towards Bedok, to take the shuttle service to his church to attend Service. I wouldn't say that I didn't learn anything, the service did remind me to say my prayers.... I then started to think back on how much I used to pray, especially back in KC with the morning prayers and the prayers after meal, and coz I take the cab to school every morning then, I would even pray when I couldn't get a cab!! I think what the priests always say is true, a family that prays together stays together. Right now, the only prayer I say is the Rosary, many people think that we're just reciting, but if you actually look into the Rosary Book, the mysteries are about Jesus and while we're reciting the prayers, we're supposed to meditate on the mystery.... I think I'm gonna get the Weekday Missal, its good to get back into praying daily....

Ok, enough about religious stuffs, anyway, when we reached Tampines, I was attracted to the pasar malam, haha! I've always loved walking along pasar malam since I was a kid. I was hoping I could find a stall that sold those Dragon Beard thingy, but none did.... *SobZ* Anyway, we walked on and bought some snacks to snack on later in the night.... ;) well, I'm all smiles today even when I'm juz so tired... hehe, I mean its a nice feeling when you can feel love coming from the one you love rite? okok, enough said.... and oh, I juz remembered, I'm gonna wake up early on Sats coz channel 8 is re-running Meteor Garden!! I have the VCD, but it juz seems nicer to watch it on TV.... Right now, I think he's pretty much like Lei.... always so quiet and so 'cool'... haha, anyway, its getting pretty late and my eyes are twitching already, its time to get to bed, and yah... I'm gonna say a good-night prayer before I go to bed... ;)

Phonecalls....

Guys, guys, guys.... I'm feeling pretty much pissed right now, and yah its got to do with phonecalls.... A couple of months back, some stupid idiot kept calling my house phone at 6am in the morning. It turned out that the stupid idiot happened to be one of the dumb-ass moron under my father's charge and he calls at 6am in the morning to ask stupid questions. So, the treatment that such stupid morons get is pretty standard, you wake the princess up at 6am to ask stupid questions, you get screwed by the princess, its as simple as that and I don't care who you are. In order to prevent such incidents from happening again, I actually uplugged the phone in my room which cost me $300 from Tangs Studio. So now, I have a phone sitting in my room just to look nice.

Now, recently I've been pretty sick, in fact, I haven't fully recovered from the time I fell ill in August. I've been trying to rest and sleep more, but I have idiots calling my phone to disrupt my sleep from time to time. I'm not a deep sleeper(unless I'm freaking tired) so when I wake up, I have difficulty falling back asleep or I simply can't. I've been having this phoneline since April 2000 and this phone line has been reachable 24/7 /365 eversince, I don't wish to switch my phone off as I'm afraid that sometimes, somethings might juz crop up. I hope all this would come to an end coz if it continues, I'll have to make really drastic changes that I don't wish to.... With this, it'll serve as a final warning....

Sickening....

.... I tried to rest just now, but couldn't.... my neck hurts, throat hurts, back hurts and my taste buds are on leave..... sounds damn sad rite? so since I can't talk, and I'm feeling so lousy, I went to my piano.... I haven't touched her for a long time.... Once again, I played Memories by CATS.... I simply love it.... I really ought to get the CATS CD.... then again... I think I would prefer the CD that's just launched!!! The Disney Magic Album!!! I've always had this thing for Walt Disney.... ;) ok.... enough whining... I ought to get back to my piano, she always makes me feel better....

1/9/2004

Have been sick for a really long time now, even my mum is puzzled.... Just finished praying the 5 glorious mysteries of the rosary. Anyway, feeling a little knocked out already, go catch a cat nap....

Another addiction....

I was just listening to my mp3 and I got addicted to this song entitled Be With You by Beyonce Knowles, a beautiful singer with an excellent silhouette that contains a powerful voice with large vocal range.... Wow.... haha, one of my fav singers... This song is really sensual, sexy in a subtle way....


Ooh baby
I love the way you make me feel
It slows down time
Come in my bedroom and turn off the lights
You whisper softly in my ear
Makes me unwind
The way you touch me
Let's me know you're mine

I'd rather be with you
Because I love the way
You scream my name
And there's no other man
That gives me what I want
And makes me feel this way
I'd rather be with you because
You hustle hard to take care of me
I'd rather be with you
Boy I'd rather be with you

I love the way you look at me
Stare into my eyes
What do they say to you
Boy don't be shy
Tonight's the night your fantasies
Will all come true
I am your woman
I belong to you

There is nothing I won't do for you
I know my soul connected me to you
I feel so safe when I'm alone with you
I'm holding back nothin
Saving it all for you
Baby I love making love to you
It's like a high I can't come down from you

I'd rather be with you
Because I love the way
You scream my name
And there's no other man
That gives me what I want
And makes me feel this way
I'd rather be with you because
You hustle hard to take care of me
I'd rather be with you
Boy I'd rather be with you

I'd rather be with you oh yea
Boy I rather be with you
I'd rather be with you oh yea
Boy I rather be with you
I'd rather be with you
Because I love the way
You scream my name
And there's no other man
That gives me what I want
And makes me feel this way
I'd rather be with you because
You hustle hard to take care of me
I'd rather be with you
Boy I'd rather be with you

I don't want nobody else
I'm happy with you
You got me baby

A day back at KC!!!

Hah, its 31st August 2004, so without fail, I would go back to school to celebrate Teachers' Day, although this year is different coz Grace is in Australia.... Anyway, didn't manage to sleep early coz I was having some conversations, but still I woke up at 6am in order to reach school at 8am sharp....

7.55am and I alighted from the bus. From the bus-stop, I can already hear the familiar noises. Teachers and prefects shouting:"Girls! settle down, spread out and keep quiet!" Despite that, you can still hear the noise from numerous girls chit-chatting boilling up... haha, its juz so typical isn't it? While walking towards the school gate, I noticed that the railings of the overhead bridge has been changed, it was no longer the filthy green one, it was plain, shiny steel....

At 8am sharp, I was in the General Office, ready to exchange for a visitor's pass (although its not neccessary for me anymore.) I saw Cikgu Rathia sitting down and preparing the gifts for the other teachers, I offered to help, but she said no need, finish already... Hmmm, she still recognises me and she remembers Grace too, asked for Grace and I told her that Grace would have loved to be here, but she's currently studying in Aussie and won't beable to come back.... She then told me that the rest of the school was at the field doing the morning workout (I'm still sad and surprised that there isn't Teachers' Day Mass) and so I made my way to the field. I stood at the 2nd level of the canteen and saw the amount of fun the girls were having, and suddenly I yearned to join in the fun.... Mrs Kee is still as spontaneous as ever, standing right in front doing the workout and standing just behind Mrs Kee to the left was Mrs Koh!!! Haha!!! What a comical sight!!! As I scanned across the field, at the far back I can see Mrs Siva, Ms Devi, Mrs Florence Ang, Ms Mary-anne Tan, Mrs Boey, Mdm Foo, Mrs Tan, Mrs Lingesh, Ms Helen Lie, Mrs Sng and Mrs Agnes Tan. The music for the workout was excellent! Damn happening, if I close my eyes and block out the morning sun-light, I would think I'm in some club...... After the morning workout, the girls proceeded to the Hall for Dance-a-thon.

Walking up the stairs to the assembly hall sure does bring back lots of memories, afterall, I've climbed those stairs for 4 consecutive years before, every step that I climb, I would think back on how we used to joke and laugh about everything and anything under the sun, running around in our white blouse and blue pinafores.... Suddenly, I came back to reality when I heard a prefect shout:" Girls! Lower your volume! Walk faster!" At the Hall, I no longer need to sit on the floor, I now sit with the prefects and teachers, so I was just dreaming when another prefect interrupted my thoughts(I was thinking of Derrick..) when she shouted:" Girls! settle down! Keep Quiet! Move towards the centre of the Hall!" haha, it all sounds so familiar doesn't it? I guess it just runs in the blood of KC prefects. As soon as all the teachers and girls were settled, dance-a-thon began.... I expected some pretty mediocre performance, but I was greatly taken aback, these girls were marvellous! They had everything, sexy, butt-shaking moves and the songs ranged from Venga Boys to Tata Young!!! OH!!!!! Brilliant.... Halfway thru the performance, someone opened the door of the gymnasium and I could smell that familiar smell... hmmm... feeling nostalgic again.... Anyway, back to the performance, I just have to say, I totally love 2/7's performance, they were dancing to this really catchy song and its so catchy (and applicable to some pple) its stuck in my head.... Goes like this...

U G L Y
you ain't got no alibi,
you're ugly... urh urh
you're ugly...

haha, I couldn't stop singing it today and I totally irritated Denise with it.
At the end, it was time for the results and 2/7 was the champion class for the secondary 2 level and it was 3/5 who was the champion for the sec 3 level.... when I heard the announcement of 3/5 clinching the champion, I was brought back to Talentime '98.... Let the Music Heal Your Soul.... yes... 3/5, we won, we were so surprised, Sophia, Grace and I were screaming our heads off and hugging each other at the back of the hall!! We made Mr Abt so proud of us.... talking about Mr Abt, when I saw the morning workout, I can imagine Mr Abt wearing our PE attire and working out with us.... hmmm... beautiful memories....

After being dismissed from the Hall, I walked to the Choir Board and to my surprise, Mrs Jalleh was back! And she was in charge of the Choir, and they changed the uniform and the choir looks so much better now.... After looking at the choir board, I left, knowing that the next time I'll be back will be either Chinese New Year or Teachers' Day.... With a heavy heart and a boggled mind, I walked out of the gate....

Thoughts on Story...

Yupz, I never enjoyed Literature in secondary school, but its only because I don't think Lit ought to be tested in the Cambridge structure, I'm a Speech and Drama student, so maybe I look at it in a different light.... guess wat I'm gonna talk about... yupz, its MacBeth by William Shakespeare

The story took place in ancient Scotland when ruled by King Duncan. Its about how MacBeth and Lady MacBeth plotted and murdered the people of threat to them, well, basically, their murderous life story.

Surprisingly, my favorite character in this story is none other than Lady MacBeth. Yes, she was the mastermind behind King Duncan's death and many would view her in a bad light. No doubt she was the one who encouraged MacBeth, but she showed immense toughness in a woman, especially in her era as compared to Lady MacDuff. Lady MacBeth had a strong character, stronger than MacBeth himself, thus the need for her to tell MacBeth that he was a coward, which ultimately made MacBeth kill King Duncan. I would say that Lady MacBeth only 'pushed' MacBeth to kill Duncan out of blind support of her husband. Because MacBeth wanted to be King, but yet lacked the courage to kill King Duncan so Lady MacBeth edged him on as a wife who would support her husband.

An excellent story, which actually can be related to the story of Adam and Eve. ;)

"Hell knows no fury, like a woman scorned...."

Sick again....

Ok... its Monday, I just had to kickstart my week with a well-timed asthma attack... Got to go back to school tomorrow morning, haven't got my teachers' day gifts, unable to breathe even when I'm standing..... Sucky feeling....

The only good thing that happened today is, I'm becoming a good girl!! hehe, I'm saying my Rosaries again!!! although I had a hard time for today (wheezing and coughing my way through the Our Father(s), Hail Mary(s) and Glory Be(s) ), but somehow, my cough and breathing felt better after I finished the 5 joyful mysteries.. tomorrow would be the 5 sorrowful mysteries.. hmmm... anyway, I was just listening to my mp3s and I'm totally addicted to Tata Young (thanx Ju!!) and I suddenly thought back on Ally McBeal (totally love & miss the wonderful show) what's the link? oh! its the theme song thingy, yupz, I kinda made Cinderella and Sexy, Naughty Bitchy my theme songs, why? coz its a perfect description of us??!!

And now u're thinking, wat a contradiction I am! coz one minute I'm saying my rosary, the next minute I'm talking about being a bitch. Well Life's a paradox, I can be a nice, sweet, innocent girl and I can totally bite someone's head off!! (Grace, don't worry, I ain't suffering from schizophrenia!) It all depends on how I'm being treated ;)

Right now, all I can say is, good o'l Mich is back!(Denise: I told u, u din have to worry!) Only thing is that I have learnt to be nicer, but only to people who deserves it *WiNkZ* !!

The Rosary

Close friends of mine would know that I've always loved saying the Rosary the most, many also asked regarding the origins... Maybe this can help to clear up some misunderstandings....

The Rosary: Where did it come from?
Praying the Rosary well is more important than knowing its history, yet knowing the origins of the Rosary can teach us much about this great prayer.

The beginnings of the Rosary are found in the early Christian practice of reciting the 150 psalms from the Bible, either daily or weekly, as a way of prayer. Those unable to recite the psalms began to recite 150 prayers, mainly the Our Father, 150 times often using the beads to count the prayers. By medieval times the custom of saying "Paternoster" beads(the latin for Our Father) was common in many countries of Europe. While saying the prayers it was customary to meditate on the mysteries of the Life of Jesus, from his birth to his resurrection.

In the Rosary today, the Our Father is still said before each decade of Hail Marys and meditation on the mysteries of Jesus's Life and resurrection remains at the heart of the prayer.

The Rosary in its present form arose in late medieval Christianity.

The Hail Mary
The Hail Mary evolved as a prayer from the devotion of medieval men and women who saw Mary, the Mother of Jesus, as the great witness to His Life, Death and Resurrection. Its earliest form was the greeting made to Mary by the Angel Gabriel:

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
the Lord is with you [Luke 1:28]

Overtime, the greeting given to Mary by her cousin Elizabeth was added:

Blessed are you among women
and Blessed is the fruit of your womb [Luke 1:42]

Finally by the 15th century, the remainder of the prayer appeared:

Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners
Now and at the hour of our death.

The prayer calls upon Mary, full of grace and close to her Son, to intercede for us sinners now and at the time of our death. We share her as a mother with St. John to whom Jesus entrusted her, when on Calvary He said," Behold your Mother." She will always bring Christ into our life. We trust her to care for us as she cared for the newly married couple at Cana in Galilee. We can go to her in our need.

By the end of the 16th Century, the practice of saying the 150 Hail Marys in series or decades of 10 was popular among many ordinary Christian people. The mysteries of the Life, Death and Resurrection of Jesus, contained in the Joyful, Sorrowful and Glorious Mysteries were remembered during these prayers.

Source: The Rosary with Scriptural Reflections and Prayers
Edited by: Rev Victor Hoagland, C.P
The Regina Press: New York.

Touching Thoughts....

Haha, it was really funny last night, after watching The Face.... Had alot of fun teasing someone after the show... anyway, I was just thinking back alot after Grace sent me that note for Mdm Foo... thought back on the times we prepared for Teachers' Day Mass, Hymn singing competition and how we won hands down... here's my all time fav hymn....

Lord I come to you
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the Grace, that I've found in you
And Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away,
By the Power of Your Love.

Hold me close and
Let your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to your side
And as I wait,
I'll rise up like the eagles
And I will soar with you
Your Spirit leads me on
In the Power of Your Love

Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see you face to face
The knowledge of your love
As you live in me.
Lord renew my mind
As your will unfolds in my life
In living everyday
In the Power of Your Love

I'm looking through my sec 4 journal.... close girls know that this book is like my life story in sec 4... and I saw racial harmony day's photo.... it was the 3 of us... but coz of some religious changes, it caused a big rift between 2 of us.... Am I supposed to still have a good feeling about it? Anyway, here's something Grace wrote in my journal, in teal blue ink...

Be good, goodness is pureness of heart.
Practise Random Acts of Kindness - keeps your heart whole
Reach.... Touch the stars - the sky's the limit
Play touch and go with your dreams, Baby, that's life.
You can't always be in touch with your dreams..
But don't let it get to you.
Carry on dreaming, carry on reaching.... carry on playing
Don't forget to pray - Jesus is our Saviour
Prayer keeps you sane....
The Lord makes you whole.

Its amazing, it feels like yesterday when I wrote in this journal, the confirmation photos of me, Nic, Bucky, Michael and Fr John looked like they were only taken yesterday.... Class photos of 1/4 '96, 2/4 '97, 3/5 '98 and 4/5'99, library prefectorial board and the choir....

Just now on my way home, I saw Ms Lie, yup the one who taught me LSS in sec 1 & 2 and Biology in sec 3 & 4. She didn't see me, so I walked up to her with my hands behind my back and in the same chirpy fashion that I used to, I said:" Good afternoon Ms Lie" and she was shocked! haha. Some things juz never change, do they? She looked pretty solemn, and she said... I'm going for a wake... Its Ms Lee Tze Tze's father's wake.... Oh, she was my art teacher in lower sec.... I told Ms Lie, pls send her my regards also on behalf of 4/5 '99....

Shall end of here with a quote that I wrote in my journal on Sunday, 3rd week of Lent....

"Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor; the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them!"
"Happy are those who mourn; God will comfort them!"
"Happy are those who are humble; they will receive what God has promised!"
"Happy are those who whose greatest desire is to do what God requires; God will satisfy them fully!"
"Happy are those who are merciful to others; God will be merciful to them!"
"Happy are the pure in heart; they will see God!"
"Happy are those who work for peace; God will call them his children!"
"Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires; the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to them!"
Matt 5:3-10

Hungry....

Was knocked out last night, not by anything, but by the 20 laps we had in the morning, I was so tired, by 10.30 pm last night, I was already in lala land...ZZzzz and woke up at about 11am this morning, only to find many many missed calls and smses... Haven't got anything to eat since I woke up... freaking hungry now... Ju juz called to ask me to swim... but can't.... someone doesn't approve of my going... being bored and hungry and the same time sux.... sux BIG TIME!! haha... anyway.... I received another call from Grace last night...

Angel, Angel... when you piss Grace off, I've to be the one to cover your ass and when you piss me off, Grace will have to cover your ass, so when are you gonna learn to cover your own ass?? Now that you pissed me and Grace off at the same time, there's no one to cover it for you anymore! First of all, do you even know that you've pissed us off since you're so engrossed in that little angelic world of yours? You're so oblivious to whatever that is happening around you or to the people around you! I'm so cheesed off by you to the point I've have absolutely no idea what to say to you anymore.... Grace and I hope that you'll stop dreaming in your own world and wake up. Angel, you're not getting any younger anymore, stop getting hung up on trivial little things.... Just in case you don't know, Grace and I are pissed, the reason why we're pissed is coz we still care, coz if we didn't, we wouldn't even bother ourselves with you, so don't you ever say we screwed you up....

Tata Young....

Its a really nice song, by Tata Young, titled Sorry Anyway.... very meaningful...

I guess I didn't read the sign at all
You call me darling
Say that you're in love
But it doesn't feel like you mean it
Although I've never been in love before
I'm sure it must be so much more than this
Cause I've never been so unhappy

Everything's wrong and backwards
Upside down
Ahh.. I'm letting you touch me but I'm cold inside
This ain't right

Sorry, I'm sorry that it's over now
We stand alone and we know it's gone,
Can't live without love
It's hard for me to know that you'll be sorry
And I don't wanna see you cry
No matter what I say, no matter what I do, you'll
Be sorry anyway

I still remember how I felt that night
The stars were out and made it all seem right
I guess I fooled myself into falling
Without a shadow of a doubt
I looked straight into his eyes
And that was the night
And I really do miss that feeling

Everything's wrong and backwards
Upside down
Ahh.. I'm letting you touch me but I'm cold inside
This ain't right

Sorry, I'm sorry that it's over now
We stand alone and we know it's gone,
Can't live without love
It's hard for me to know that you'll be sorry
And I don't wanna see you cry
No matter what I say, no matter what I do, you'll
Be sorry anyway

I don't know how to be strong when it's over
Can't face the lonely hour
It feels so wrong but it's right to tell you now
Oh I don't know why, I just wanna to cry
Oh why, It's time to let go but I want you to know I'm

Sorry, I'm sorry that it's over now
We stand alone and we know it's gone,
Can't live without love
It's hard for me to know that you'll be sorry
And I don't wanna see you cry
No matter what I say, no matter what I do, you'll
Be sorry anyway

Feeling good...

Ah.... Ju and I had a good swim today, did 20 laps within an hour, well an hour means including showering time and crappin in the pool time, but i think we were so energetic today despite our major lack of sleep was coz we had too much energy pent up inside us... Well, I'm not too sure abt her, but I definitely had lots of energy thanks to my anger pangs.... I'm angry at people who chooses what they wanna listen to and what they don't wanna listen to when they're talking to others and there are others who chooses to read things(when they don't neccessarily need to) they don't like and make a big fuss out of it! GET A LIFE!!!!

After swimming and lunch all at Ju's place, I had a good chat with Mich Ling, haha... feels weird when I type my own name out like that.. we talked of lots of stuffs, found out some things though not important to me any longer.... Everyone can see with their own eyes, I don't need to be sorry coz I've played my part and done my dues... :) as wat my fav lao shi always tell me, ming tian hui gen mei hao.... I love u lao shi...

Thinking back...

When Grace called me last night, we talked about many stuffs, we went all the way back to Primary School, when we sat on the floor together, when we would go for tuition together with Pei Shan and Gigi, Van and Ethel, to the times in Sec school with Mdm Foo, Mr Abt and we realised we're old already... haha... its been years since we left Sec school, but the memories are still so vivid... It feels like its only yesterday when I realised I got in class 3/5... we were always the noisest class, but well... I would say most teachers loved us to bits, we made them laugh (and cry: Remember Ms Soo???) We would always get into stupid trouble but yet get away... like how I climbed onto the roof to get the little kitten then got caught by Florence Ang? then I carried the cat to the school gate and got caught by Devi? hmm... the best thing was when Mr Abt told Chloe off after what she had done to me, it was then I realised, our class and teachers weren't just classmate and teachers, we were like a huge family and guardian angels... yes... there was definately bitching and shouts from across the class room (most common phrase being SHUT UP LAH!) yupz! BUT, we were always united, esp when it came to events or when required...

When I think back, I always remember that day in school, I suddenly developed high fever after PE class, but I refused to see a doctor nor go home, I insisted on staying in school, the teachers shifted me to be directly under the fan, removed my belt and bought ice for me.. Yangwen and Sarah changed the ice packets for me and I got better, but the fever refused to go even after school ended, so Sophia, Denise and Nerissa took a cab with me to see my family doctor in Bedok...

I'll be going back to my school this Teacher's Day as usual, but this year, I don't have Grace with me... *SobZ* but its ok, I'll have Mdm Foo. haha ; )

Thoughts...

Had a good 2 hour conversation with Grace last night... Hmmm... sometimes I really wanna ask this question, Angel, how often do u wanna push ur limits? Tell me one damn good reason why I really shouldn't yell at u and tell u to WAKE UP!!! There's tons of pple like these already( Need I further elaborate?)!! Grace and I love you, ur mum, your brother, your dad loves you... but do u appreciate it or even show any form of appreciation? You ask yourself that qn! Has Grace and I ever stepped you down and start chanting about retribution to you when you're already down and out? Don't you think you deserve the most retribution? We stand by you despite your being silly with B and S, especially S!! How many times did I go down to Tampines for you? Did I ever complain? Did I ever tell you:" Angel, you'll get retribution for all these, and you derserve it, you asked for it, coz we told you already." Did I? Neither did Grace! We alwiz tell you, its ok, its not too late to do something about it... Yes, we nag, so does our mothers! Why? coz we care abt you, you damn bitch! When you shoot off your mouth without processing the words thru ur thick brain, did Grace and I ever blame you? Honestly, Grace and I have absolutely no idea whatsoever that's going through your head. You're always contradicting.... Yen is one issue I don't even wanna talk about.... You always complain that I disappear when I get attached.. Oh.. REALLY???? I can't even remember when's the last time I got a received call from Angel's Hp...

I hope you'll really think hard about everything, being popular isn't everything, you don't need to have everyone liking you, remember this, when you're good, you will create an air of jealousy, so those lousy people will naturally think badly of you to make themselves feel good! And they'll call you bitch or fat or any simple words they can make up, so don't go searching for new friends, new friends are usually the idiots that plant stupid thinkings in people's head....

Despite saying so much, Grace and I still really care for you (right Grace?), we'll always be here to stand by you.

Tired....

Wasn't feeling too well today plus I didn't sleep well for the past 2 nights(which explains my hurting neck now..) so Ju and I decided to only do 10 laps, yap and the both of us have been getting too much attention from the fellow morning swimmers of the opposite sex as well as the life-guards... haha, after our swim, we sat down and talked to the life-guards and they served us snacks... hmmmm, not bad huh? haha.. anyway.... I'm dead beat now, just showered and changed and about to go shopping with Ju(*PengZ*) then meeting my smelly piggy at 7 for dinner... sounds like a long day ahead... got to go now... tata!!

Here's Tiffany, my dog! 

Bitches....

Hah! just before dinner, I saw a message that was supposed to attack me personally... hmmm... I've decided to be a bitch and here goes...

Well, even if I did require slimming gel (which is highly unnecessary based on my healthy exercise regimes), I'd rather slather on those irky gels than have to go for plastic surgery which I hope should salvage the sad face... at least I don't have a face that even my dog looks better than! (haha.. I'm not done being a bitch yet...) other than physical aspects, which I've definately won hands down compared to so-and-so(s). Let's go on to the intellectual arena... I definately do not have problems with my grammar nor articulation, sad to mention, I've already bagged a gold medal in The London Academy Of Music And Dramatic Art aka LAMDA, so just in case your brains still ain't working (is there one to begin with??) I'm telling you, you're messing with the wrong girl... I'm still not being maximum bitch, so, in order to save the remains of your horrendous looking face, just keep that low-class ah-lian mouth of yours shut.

Ok! enough bitching already, shouldn't waste too much of my 'precious' (guilty ones should know what this mean) time typing about such scums of the earth.

Great Song...

Kinda like this song!
Call him Mine : Tata Young

I can call him mine

It was only a matter of time
Before I got tired of your ways
I tried to make you fire,
But you were only ice
And you didn't seem to wanna change

So then I looked at someone new
And he was looking back at me too
Saw that I was hurt
Knew just what to say
Knew just how to push the pain away

You know I need stability
And you know you can't give it to me

My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine

Though when I call him on the phone
I never feel butterflies
I know that I can trust
He'll always give me love
And I know mine will grow for him in time

He tells me that I'm beautiful
And I never ever heard that from you
He doesn't cause me pain
Tears falling like the rain
And though I'm still in love with you
You know I need stability

My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine

It wasn't easy letting go but I know that I had to think of the long run and say goodbye
And find someone who appreciates me even though even though.....

My sun may never rise the way it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way that you'd do, that you'd do...
My sun may never rise the way it did with you,
And he may never kiss me the way that you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like a part of his life
At least he doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine

The sun may never rise again like it did with you
And he may never ever kiss me the way you'd do
But at least he makes me feel like I'm a part of his life
He doesn't make me cry
Doesn't make me cry
He doesn't make me cry
I know I can call him mine

Tired....

Ahh... went swimming earlier with Ju, only did 13 laps coz the irritating kids came and i hate packed pool and plus there were too many 'tee ko pehs' haha, which irritated Ju, so we decided to head back... now my legs and back and arms are soft from lack of sleep and exercising.... *yawns* hmmm... i think my body is hinting for a nap....

Feelings?

Darlin' I can't explain
Where did we lose our way
Girl it's drivin' me insane

And I know I just need one more chance
To prove my love to you
If you come back to me
I'll guarantee
That I'll never let you go

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again
Until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

So many nights I dream of you
Holding my pillow tight
I know I don't need to be alone
When I open up my eyes
To face reality
Every moment without you
It seems like eternity
I'm begging you, begging you come back to me

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again
Until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Gonna swallow my pride, say I'm sorry
Stop pointing fingers the blame is on me
I want a new life and I want it with you
If you feel the same don't ever let it go
You gotta believe in the spirit of love
It can heal all things we won't hurt any more
No I don't believe our love's terminal
I'm down on my knees begging you please
Come home

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again
Until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended knee
I'll never walk again
Until you come back to me
I'm down on bended knee

Wanna build a new life
Just you and me
Gonna make you my wife
Raise a family