Ermm....

Erm..... I'm at work.... getting more awake already.... but as I'm getting more awake, my mind is thinking of him more... I'm beginning to really miss him.... oh no.... Denise should be back from Thailand already, coming to work at 3.30pm later.... I need a break.... I dunno why, but when I woke up, I keep thinking of him.... thoughts of him keeps flooding through my head.... what's wrong with me????

Hmmm.... just came back from the toilet, its almost 12pm already, going for lunch soon, Alice and I are gonna faint from hunger soon man.... Met Kathy while going to the toilet, can't wait to go River AngBao together, hopefully and I believe their should be fireworks!! so exciting!! I love fireworks, they light up the entire night sky... beautiful formations.... hmmm, but its only temporary... looks like its true that beautiful things don't last.... time to check if its lunch!!

5/2/2005

So tired.... dunno why last nite couldn't sleep.... din sleep til 1+ in the morning.... bought a new blusher and eye-shadow colour yesterday ;) this morn I decided to try out the colours... hmmm nice, matches my new hair colour... I look even less chinese now.... well, that's what my colleague said... yesterday I had to drive the stupid van back to Changi for my uncle.... clutch in and out til my leg damn tired..... hmmm... I bought a new Braun hairdryer too, its good! and its only $64!!! so cheap!! haha, Best Denki at Tampines having promotion.... well, its 1800watts, much more powerful than the one that I'm used to use at home.... Coudln't take it anymore, made a cup of green tea, yup, with my mug..... nice nice, hot hot and no sugar... ;) okok, Alice is looking at me, giving me the 'look-out for extras!' look... gotta get back to work liaoz... sianz.... have to stay here til 6pm.... *Sighs*

4/2/2005

I kinda like my new image, I think I look and feel better.... but there are drawbacks too... its not comfortable to take bus or train anymore... I get guys(most often who don't look in the mirror) trying to get to know me, haiz.... very busy, started typing this like at 10am, and now its 12pm already.... hmmmm....

hungry.... waiting for lunch break to come, gonna knock off at 6pm today, hehe, going shopping with my mother after work.... haiz.... hungry liaoz, but still got 30 mins before I can go for lunch... gonna faint from hunger already... sianz....

3/2/2005

Haha, back in Singapore, from 1 day of shopping in Malaysia... I spent $600 ringgit... yes in a day... bought 5 pairs of shoes and did many other stuffs... haha.... and yah, went to meet Derrick after that... I don't know... still alittle confused.... I dunno wat to think or expect... I'm getting soft-hearted again, shouldn't have kissed... bad thing to do... shouldn't have fallen asleep either.... now at work, and my mood is exceptionally good... I dunno wat to do now.... Mind is a complete blank.... end of break... time to get back to work.... dun wanna get into anymore trouble....

1/2/2005

Haiz, its the 1st day of the month and here I am.... at work again... just came back from 1 hr break.... so sianz.... I totally forgot that today I'm supposed to work OT... sianz.... stuck here til 9.30pm.... haiz....

yay, tmrw going to Malaysia and I just found out that passport cannot extend, can only make new and it will take 7 working days!!! ah.... nvm lahz, tmrw just go try my luck, if really cannot go in, then go beach and have fun lorz.... haiz.... I hope can go... hands very itchy... really need to go shopping...

haiz... cannot type too long, got to work, today got into abit of trouble coz I was looking at my hp while I was at work.... haiz.... that's it lahz.... waiting for contract to be up then see if I want to continue here lahz.... back to work.... ah.... very full.... wanna ZZzzz.....

Thoughts.. .. .. ..

Thoughts are flooding through my mind again while I'm at work... I think it was because of the hug last night... It was a long hug, a loving and affectionate one... I feel like I don't understand him anymore, I dunno wat's going through his mind, I thought we're supposed to be friends like before we were together, and I'm able to do that, on a normal basis, I should be very happy or should I say ecstatic that I had such a nice long hug from him, but now I'm just confused and I'm thinking of him.... I'm thinking and wondering what is wrong with him.... Then again, I really shouldn't think so much, thinking too much isn't good.... just went downstairs with Sebastian, saw Nicholas Tay and Victor from the part time team, haha, talking about pay and rotiboy breads... yay, its almost 7pm, I'm gonna knock off in 1.5hrs time... haiz... today I kenna all the shit cases manz.... so shit... so much paper work to do, so much follow up to do... haiz.... I sound so grumpy... Running short of clothes to wear, had to wear my favorite black tube dress to work today, haha, everybody was like, eh Michelle, why wear so nice today, going out on hot date ah? yah I wish... haha no lahz, nothing to wear liaoz... so bo pian.... sianz.... I think the whole company thinks that Sebas and I are together.... its doesn't bother him ,but it bothers me quite abit, esp the way some pple look at me.... haiz... dun care lahz.... hmmmm.... had milo and tea today, so I used his mug.... no its my mug, but he bought it for me... hmmm... quite nice to use lahz, but then again, a mug is still a mug.... nothing special abt it....

haiz.... I'm getting sick of my job.... then again, I think its just today lahz.... argh... now time is crawling... only 7.15pm now.... still got 1hr and 15 mins to go.... hmmmm.... I need to go shopping... nono I need sleep.... I found another ABBA song... it touches me coz I can sort of relate to the song.... Knowing Me, Knowing You....

No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house,
tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends,
this is goodbye

Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this timeI have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do

Mem'ries (mem'ries),
good days (good days), bad days (bad days)
They'll be (they'll be),
with me (with me) always (always)
In these old familiar rooms
children would play
Now there's only emptiness,
nothing to say

Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this timeI have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do

(repeat)

Its a nice song... in fact, I think I'm a huge ABBA fan.... hmmm.... yay... 1hr to go... la la la la la.... ;)

31/1/2005

Hmmm, its the last day of the month already, so fast... well... its 12.45pm now, gonna have my break at 2.25pm.... haiz.... work work work... last nite after I reached home, was talking to Sebastian again.... talk til 4am... haha, this morning couldn't wake up manz... had to reach work before 11am... lucky, managed to log in before 11am.... tonight I'll have to sleep early then tomorrow leave the house earlier to extend my passport or else I'll really have to cry at the check point... hmmm....

last nite, managed to see Faith, she's bigger now, skinnier, longer...haha, so cute, still as cute as ever... ;)

oh no... very busy.... suddenly so fast, 2.10pm already.... yay, 15 mins more can go beak... damn hungry lorz.... sianz.... abit tired...

the stars were nice last nite, reminded me of the time when Derrick and I were looking at stars at Bedo Reservoir, while Bucky and Nicholas were listening to some CD in the van.... We sat down next to the playground and watched the stars... I totally forgot about that incident.... maybe its a memory block, I have the tendancy to block out memories when things happen... well.... at least now that when I remember, I'm not affected by it, so all you guys, dun worry, I'm going back to my depressed state again, I've worked so hard to get myself out of the shit hole, not going back there again.... too painful.... ok lahz... go for my 15 mins break first.... hmmm....

Sianz.. .. .. .. ..

so sianz.... just came back from 1 hr break.... its 6.30pm now... 2.5hrs to go before I can knock off... ah... hate the 11.30am shift, has weird break hours. I mean 1 hr break at 1630hrs, its neither lunch nor dinner!!! so annoying.... I'm dying of boredom here... so tired.... tomorrow have to start work at 11am.... sianz.... and haven't extend my passport yet... Sebastian was saying wait I kenna stuck at the checkpoint... I told him I'll stand there and cry lorz... haha... better wake up earlier, then go Lavender to extend.... haiz....

ah... time is passing so slowly.... I just found another 2 more ABBA songs that I like!!! haha, its S.O.S and One Of Us.... here's the lyrics for S.O.S, ;)

Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love?
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good

So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?

You seem so far away though you are standing near
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear
I really tried to make it out
I wish I understood
What happened to our love, it used to be so good

So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?

So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
And the love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?

Very nice... simply love it.... I keep watching the DVD that I bought the other day.... haha, hmmm... maybe I will consider buying the Carpenters one.... I think they were the one who sang "you know I can't smile without you, can't laugh without you...." hmmm.... aiyah, I think I'm just bored.... hmmm... later go find Sebastian to take 5... hahahaha.... zo kang zo kang....

30/1/2005

Hmmm... yesterday off....there was a pleasant surprise, was shopping with my mother at WhiteSands, when Derrick called me.... It was nice talking to him again, well, as a friend.... Talked for a long time, I think we talked longer than we did before on the phone... haha... yesterday was full of surprises, Yanzi, my niece came over my place and I was playing with her, so cute... 2 mth old only... pretty girl, but she pee pee on my bed, but nvm lahz, doesn't smell... haha.. last night Davina called me, I was surprised, she said that Brother Yangyi wants to talk to me, so I said ok, just give me a call, no problem, hmmm, wonder wats up, but nvm, I'll just wait for his call... Davina asked me if I wanted to join her in church today, I told her I'm sorry, but I'm working from 1130 to 2100, so I can't go... she's going back to Australia soon... hmmm... its her last week at work this week... gonna miss seeing her around... haiz.... damn tired now.... din get enough sleep. slept at 5am coz was talking to Sebastian.... talked about alot of stuff, the D's and insensitive pple, his ex-gf... I guess our roles have changed, it used to be him consoling me about Derrick, but now, its me consoling him about his ex and his new found fond... haha, alot of pple thought it was me, but allow me to clarify, its NOT me!!! no chemistry... haha... I'm just afraid that if this goes on, he might become abit gay... oh no.... hahaha, haiz.... I'm so stone now... my eyes are closing and my whole body is aching... thanks to lack of sleep.... after work, I'm going over to Derrick's place to take a look at Faith, hmmm, haven't seen her for a long time... Hmmm... I think I'll need another cup of tea... I already finished one... I got so pissed with the teaspoons in the pantry, I brought 2 of my own, tall one for my tall mug, short one for the mug that Derrick gave me... yah, the one that he gave me, I brought it and left it in my locker... only used it once... oh shit... I just remembered that I'm going Malaysia soon and I haven't extended my passport!! oh no... die... better go tomorrow or Tues... and his train ticket is in my passport... dunno if he wants it.... maybe I'll ask him later...

hmmmm... just came back from my 15 mins break not too long ago... damn sianz... now only 3.30pm... still have to be here til 9pm.... damn tired.... if only I can take time off... but no point lahz, take time off, another day also have to pay back... next week doing OT, coming back to work on my rest day as well... I totally forgot that I'm going to Malaysia on Weds and I'm supposed to do OT on Thurs from 9am.... die lahz... how to wake up like that.... but nvm lahz, after spending so much money, I better start earning, lucky I don't use credit cards.... if not I'll probably be in deep shit man....

bored..... *yawnz*.... tired.... I need sleep.... ok I'm gonna stop whining... better start working.... waiting for my break!!! break is coming!! its 3.40pm now, break is at 4.30!!! yay..... hmmm... funny, not hungry lehz.... nvm... get back to work....