I'm back.... Fed Faith already, well... Faith was a good girl, she finished up all her food, just hope that she doesn't throw a temper tantrum and shits all over the place again.... Fed the 2 fishes as well, although the fighting fish looks very much like he's trying to survive.... Poor fish....
Was walking around with Derrick for awhile.... Was sad that he had to go back to work... Was even more sad when he said things like, 2 more weeks and internship would be over, would you give me 2 weeks? I screwed up 1 weekend and you become like this, what if in future I need to go overseas??
So I guess now its not right for me to want to have him with me all the time and its wrong for me to miss him???
I give up.... I should get him out of my life more often I guess... In that way, I wouldn't really need him around me most of the time and I wouldn't be so upset and he won't need to say such things.... Well.... I don't even know what to say anymore... Tonight he's going for meeting for the internet marketing business... I guess if he's not gonna be home early, then I'll just head home....No point me staying here awaiting his return right??? Hmph... Guinness World Records primetime for me now....
Thursday, August 04, 2005
....????
Hmmmm... its Thursday already!!!! still rainy.... its really getting on my nerves... something about rainy days that makes me lethargic, or does that apply to everyone?? mmm... watever.... Well... I did manage to crawl out of bed this morning at 8.45am to see the doctor about my blood test, turns out fine, no problem, but the doctor said that if I do hurt my leg again, the pain and swell is bound to be back... Sux doesn't it.... Everything in my life now seems pretty sucky... or did the realisation only kicked in after I watch Bridget Jones Diary??
Can I say that my life is pretty similar?? Nono, I'm not in television business.... Well.... Daniel Cleaver seems like Nic whereas Mark Darcy seems like Derrick.... okok... I'm in dream world.... I'm frustrated so just let me vent alrite???? I've got enough sucky things coming my way already....
Sex sux, love life's boring coz partner is interning in a bank and holds committee title in CCA in University, is also a business partner in a internet marketing business and gives tuition to 3 kids.... Well... he's not exactly strapped for cash, but he's definitely pushing himself to the limit.... ok, basically yes, my problem lies with his lack of time or rather his inability to juggle his many many works and family time.... I'm almost living with him already, but the only time we have together is probably the wee hours of the mornings on a normal basis, and yes that's when I'm dead asleep.... Internship's fine.... everyone goes through it at one time or another, but CCA at University level??? Okok, I had my share of CCA when I was in polytechnic, but I made sure they didn't get to push me around expecting me to free up my time for this event and that event and brain-storming and this and that and yes RUBBISH!!! Yes committee members are the board of morons that hold the retarded club together, but please don't do things in an inefficient way.... Ok... I'm talking about a group of university guys that are in the mid 20s already??? Yes, I'm not older but from the way they carried out their jobs, I would say one word... disappointing.... never believed that uni students could be so moronic, can't even get a simple thing done efficiently... alrite enough about morons, okok, I don't have anything else to complain, yes he comes home early from work, cancel tuition classes to come home earlier, but most of the time he's on the net checking his stuffs and all, he's perpetually glued to the computer.... Like tonight, I said I wanna go home, Derrick wouldn't let me, said wanna keep company, but he's got the internet marketing meeting and God knows what time he'll be home!!! Yes, I don't deny he tries to make time for me, he comes home for lunch, well.... Nevermind.... Sometimes I ask myself, do I really love him?? Do I want him??? I did love him and I did want him before, but is it still the same??? Yes it is, just that I'm not so passionate as before, I'm used to just hugs and good night pecks and sleep.... Some people might not totally agree with me, but honestly, I need to feel needed, I need to feel wanted and with Derrick, I don't, even though he keeps telling me that he loves me but that's just not enough and I'm just getting used to it.... Used to ....... nevermind.....
I've got to go, need to meet my mum, Derrick just saw that I've started to blog again and his facial expressions were different before he left the house after my mum called.... Whatever his problem was.... I don't know, I won't ask.... not anymore, it's probably something about me again.... He thinks that I'm thinking silly stuffs.... well I'm not thinking silly stuffs.... I just think that I"m neglected and I Am!! and that I'm not needed nor wanted as well... Meanwhile, I'll just get used to it....
Can I say that my life is pretty similar?? Nono, I'm not in television business.... Well.... Daniel Cleaver seems like Nic whereas Mark Darcy seems like Derrick.... okok... I'm in dream world.... I'm frustrated so just let me vent alrite???? I've got enough sucky things coming my way already....
Sex sux, love life's boring coz partner is interning in a bank and holds committee title in CCA in University, is also a business partner in a internet marketing business and gives tuition to 3 kids.... Well... he's not exactly strapped for cash, but he's definitely pushing himself to the limit.... ok, basically yes, my problem lies with his lack of time or rather his inability to juggle his many many works and family time.... I'm almost living with him already, but the only time we have together is probably the wee hours of the mornings on a normal basis, and yes that's when I'm dead asleep.... Internship's fine.... everyone goes through it at one time or another, but CCA at University level??? Okok, I had my share of CCA when I was in polytechnic, but I made sure they didn't get to push me around expecting me to free up my time for this event and that event and brain-storming and this and that and yes RUBBISH!!! Yes committee members are the board of morons that hold the retarded club together, but please don't do things in an inefficient way.... Ok... I'm talking about a group of university guys that are in the mid 20s already??? Yes, I'm not older but from the way they carried out their jobs, I would say one word... disappointing.... never believed that uni students could be so moronic, can't even get a simple thing done efficiently... alrite enough about morons, okok, I don't have anything else to complain, yes he comes home early from work, cancel tuition classes to come home earlier, but most of the time he's on the net checking his stuffs and all, he's perpetually glued to the computer.... Like tonight, I said I wanna go home, Derrick wouldn't let me, said wanna keep company, but he's got the internet marketing meeting and God knows what time he'll be home!!! Yes, I don't deny he tries to make time for me, he comes home for lunch, well.... Nevermind.... Sometimes I ask myself, do I really love him?? Do I want him??? I did love him and I did want him before, but is it still the same??? Yes it is, just that I'm not so passionate as before, I'm used to just hugs and good night pecks and sleep.... Some people might not totally agree with me, but honestly, I need to feel needed, I need to feel wanted and with Derrick, I don't, even though he keeps telling me that he loves me but that's just not enough and I'm just getting used to it.... Used to ....... nevermind.....
I've got to go, need to meet my mum, Derrick just saw that I've started to blog again and his facial expressions were different before he left the house after my mum called.... Whatever his problem was.... I don't know, I won't ask.... not anymore, it's probably something about me again.... He thinks that I'm thinking silly stuffs.... well I'm not thinking silly stuffs.... I just think that I"m neglected and I Am!! and that I'm not needed nor wanted as well... Meanwhile, I'll just get used to it....
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Grumpy....
Grumpy Weds.... didn't want to do any housework today.... so I watched DVD when I woke up.... Watched Bridget Jones Diary.... nice... nice show, didn't watch it years ago.... will probably watch part 2 tomorrow.... Grumpy day not only because put on weight.... but coz some things just suck when they shouldn't suck!!!
Yah.... unwilling sex sucks, those obliging ones.... for the sake of it... and for God's sake.... it sucks.... Ah!!! I give up.... I'm going back to my magazine for more weight loss inspiration or should I be just like Fann and Zoe? Just subscribe to pills like extrim and xando??? Hey.... Maybe I should try the pills and super detox and diet all at the same time!! If the pills really do works then results should be excellent and fast... Hmmmm.... think about it first.... back to magazine and TV for now.....
Yah.... unwilling sex sucks, those obliging ones.... for the sake of it... and for God's sake.... it sucks.... Ah!!! I give up.... I'm going back to my magazine for more weight loss inspiration or should I be just like Fann and Zoe? Just subscribe to pills like extrim and xando??? Hey.... Maybe I should try the pills and super detox and diet all at the same time!! If the pills really do works then results should be excellent and fast... Hmmmm.... think about it first.... back to magazine and TV for now.....
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Wet Wet Wet...
Its a Tuesday, hmmm.. let's back track...
Sunday was tiring, spent the whole morning and afternoon cleaning the windows and cleaning the entire kitchen, took me a total of 5 hours.... After washing up the kitchen, started to prepare for the night's dinner, coz that night its was Derrick's uncle's wedding.... well.... its was after my bath that I began to realise something..... something real bad..... I think I'm piling on FATS!!!! oh no..... sianz..... but Derrick said, no ah, looks good.... ;) still.... an evil plan is beginning to crawl up my sleeves.....
Monday.... took her for drink and... okok, stop singing... Monday was blue.... no, not that I'm working, just that my knee is still a little painful and since Sunday night went for dinner, I definitely wore heels, which didn't help, anyway, didn't have time to blog coz was busy cleaning my darling's very dusty and messy room.... Been talking to his sister recently, she's quite interesting actually, haha, she shares the same name as me!! Anyway, Derrick came home and helped to clean up the rest of his mess and WALAH!!! his room is nice and clean and neat and cozy.... Simply love it!!
Arhh.... Sleepy Tuesday.... had weird dreams last night.... dreamt of people dying.... sianz.... anyway, woke up early because of the nightmare.... just nice coz Derrick was going to bring me to the doctor for blood test coz the doctor say need to check what exactly is wrong with my knee..... pain pain..... Derrick was late for work coz waited for the doctor.... haiz.... so sad, the doctor said that the layer of oil in my blood quite high..... haiyoh.... sianz.... so this morning, I made a resolution with immediate effect, to spend the next 2 - 3 days to wash my body out of toxins.... No solid food (unless I'm gonna faint) only plain water and chinese tea, coz no sugar....
:<>
Its raining, wait... that's an understatement... Its pouring!!! damn.... the clothes won't beable to dry so soon already..... damn the rain..... ah! Derrick's gonna be home soon for lunch and yes... I don't have lunch..... hmmm.... chinese tea and water is gonna be my best friend...... haiz.....
Sunday was tiring, spent the whole morning and afternoon cleaning the windows and cleaning the entire kitchen, took me a total of 5 hours.... After washing up the kitchen, started to prepare for the night's dinner, coz that night its was Derrick's uncle's wedding.... well.... its was after my bath that I began to realise something..... something real bad..... I think I'm piling on FATS!!!! oh no..... sianz..... but Derrick said, no ah, looks good.... ;) still.... an evil plan is beginning to crawl up my sleeves.....
Monday.... took her for drink and... okok, stop singing... Monday was blue.... no, not that I'm working, just that my knee is still a little painful and since Sunday night went for dinner, I definitely wore heels, which didn't help, anyway, didn't have time to blog coz was busy cleaning my darling's very dusty and messy room.... Been talking to his sister recently, she's quite interesting actually, haha, she shares the same name as me!! Anyway, Derrick came home and helped to clean up the rest of his mess and WALAH!!! his room is nice and clean and neat and cozy.... Simply love it!!
Arhh.... Sleepy Tuesday.... had weird dreams last night.... dreamt of people dying.... sianz.... anyway, woke up early because of the nightmare.... just nice coz Derrick was going to bring me to the doctor for blood test coz the doctor say need to check what exactly is wrong with my knee..... pain pain..... Derrick was late for work coz waited for the doctor.... haiz.... so sad, the doctor said that the layer of oil in my blood quite high..... haiyoh.... sianz.... so this morning, I made a resolution with immediate effect, to spend the next 2 - 3 days to wash my body out of toxins.... No solid food (unless I'm gonna faint) only plain water and chinese tea, coz no sugar....
:<>
Its raining, wait... that's an understatement... Its pouring!!! damn.... the clothes won't beable to dry so soon already..... damn the rain..... ah! Derrick's gonna be home soon for lunch and yes... I don't have lunch..... hmmm.... chinese tea and water is gonna be my best friend...... haiz.....
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