Feeling Reminiscent...

Juz finished watching the korean drama 'World Within' on Weds nite... Reminds me of alot of stuff... Stuffs that I once again have to get out of my system...



When Joon Young stared out the window and saw Yeon Hee following Ji Oh... She made assumptions, juz like how Nic did when some 'bao toe kia' said I was out with Derrick which btw, was not true (but it doesn't matter now)... That's wat happens when there's no trust between the couple...



When Ji Oh broke up with Joon Young because of Yang Soo Kyung... I knew how Derrick felt... He decided to end it off once and for all not because he didn't love me anymore... It was because I made him feel inferior... Esp when I went out with a low life like argh... Nevermind...



I dunno why, but maybe I've been a bitch... People around me like to sabotage me... The 'bao toe kia' told Nic that I met up with Derrick.. Truth was, I din arrange for any meeting, I was having my meal break and he was waiting for me coz I was trying to break off with him to be back with Nic... Wat an irony rite??



I went to Indo for Yvonne's wedding and Derrick and I were going thru the worst patch of our entire relationship.... Guess wat, SP decided to accompany me coz he din want me to be alone... Instead of letting me be the one to tell Derrick abt it, Denise (the worst human being on earth) decided to 'cut my queue' and told Derrick abt it... That made Derrick lose all trust in me...



Since we're on the topic of Denise... Ok, here goes... She was in the same class as me from Primary 1 thru Secondary 4... Naturally, I always took her as a very good fren esp after being stuck in the same class for so long...



Her first betrayal was in Sec 2, one day, she juz decided to ignore me completely and her reason was 'PMS'.. and that pms lasted for months... Prior to that, I helped her complete her chinese holiday assignment...



She was the one who encouraged me to break off with Nic to be with Derrick... Although, I made the decision myself, but when things go wrong, did she need to say 'She's the kind to break up with one to be with another.'


I was utterly disappointed... So much for friends...

Then came the incident about the Indonesian trip... As much as I was wrong... I feel she should have allowed me to tell Derrick about it myself. He should hear it from me first... A couple's problem should always remain between the couple... But it seems she like to butt in to create more problems...

Years later, I got close with an ex-colleague... Which happens to be a mutual fren of ours... He started to try to convince me to leave my then bf... He decided to seek her advice and they both called me out for coffee to convince me to leave my then loser bf... She did it once again... I think you should seriously consider Seb over SP... SP is such a loser material... But when I was out of the picture, she told Seb the same sentence.. U better be careful, she tends to leave one for another...

All in all, I've allowed myself to be stupid enough to get bitten again and again by that same fucking piece of shit...

So, I've been thru a number of relationships... Of which, I've screwed up at times too... I constantly remind myself of all these screw ups... So that I will not make the same mistake again...

From Nic, I knew how it felt to constantly give and how sometimes that is wrong... Coz I spoilt him rotten... And how it sucks to be taken for granted...

Gerald is the best.. he's the only ex that would still talk to me like a real fren.. Pick up my calls, drive me around, listen to my complains about irritating colleagues to sickening frens... ;)

Derrick, he taught me to be straightforward.. To be honest with integrity...

SP, was a good lesson... Never be with someone you dun love though he loves you to bits, IT NEVER WORKS OUT!!!

Seb, no, he didn't teach me anything... In fact, I've said countless times that I DO NOT wish to take it further than friends... Simply coz I dun like him enough... But sometimes, people dun listen... And there are people who are fucking stubborn and stay away from these kind of people...


As for Shaun... He's different... He's very different.... How do I put it...

With him, I have the courage to take risks.. I've gotten over my phobia of people's parents... I like having his mum around, drive her to her mother's place... Having dinner with his parents and grandmother...

My mum likes him alot too, always asking about him...

I like it how we don't stay over at each other's place... We always go back to our respective homes... Chat on the phone til the batt's out or we're completely knocked out ;)

I fell asleep without posting this... That's how tired I was...

I dunno y I juz felt like typing all this.. Prob coz if I dun get it out of my system, it'll keep bugging me...

Sometimes I think back and wonder how things would be had I not left Nic for Derrick, prob, I'll still be a picking up his debts, shits, etc etc... Had I not disappoint Derrick?? I may have converted to being a City Harvest follower and live a secular life... Seriously, it doesn't quite matter... I juz like to think.. but at the end of the day, I know, I'm happy now..

I think thinking about all these helps, it reminds me of the mistakes I've made so that I won't do it again... Shaun and I have gone through so much to finally be together, I really dun wanna waste it... Pleasing his parents and convincing mine really wasn't easy... Knowing that there's still a long road ahead doesn't help much either... But this time, I won't allow anyone to try to butt their kay-poh ass in and ruin this happiness of mine.. ;)