Last nite, was angry with Derrick, then as usual, being a woman, after talking and quarrelling with Derrick, I decided to forgive him, and not be angry anymore.... then we talked til I fell asleep on the phone.... but..... even though I fell asleep, I do remember wat we talked about lahz!!! I remember talking abt meeting up today.... but bull shit lorz.... never lorz.... wat went on in between was worse..... He called me around 8pm, I asked him to come over my place, he asked me to go over his place, I said I didn't want to go down his place, why is it that I have to be the one to go and find him ALL THE TIME?!?!?! I said I didn't wanna go over coz I have to come back home again, then he said nevermind, can stay over, I then got irritated and told him, its worse lorz, tmrw, he's gonna have cell group (yea on NYE, so happening rite?) then he wants to go out with THEM!!!(BTW, he din plan anything with me lorz.... bastard rite?) so I stay over for wat?? I still have to come home myself in the end!! so he said ok lorz.... then at abt 10.30 pm, we were on the phone again, I asked him to come over my place to accompany me..... guess wat he said to piss me off??? Aiyah.... so late already, go also no point..... FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last time before we were together, even if there was no more bus in service anymore to my place, you will also take cab to come and meet me.... now.... u fucking dun even bother anymore..... I'm so angry now that I feel like tearing him up into shreds with my bare teeth!!!!! I'm so angry!!! Ah.... he just reach my house..... blog later.....
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Embarassed and upset....
Last nite, Athena, Angel, Raynard, Derrick and I went to Momo.... it was packed, so we were standing near the door leading towards the live band, then brilliantly a group of idiots broke into a fight.... really idiots lahz.... go clubbing, so guai lan for wat??? wat's ur prob??? they get into fight, never mind.... know wat??? we were dancing near an in-built speaker, so its covered.... when they started to fight, I was worried for Angel and my nephew, coz we were cornered, no where to run.... brilliant.... so no choice, I had to block those fuckers from Angel n Raynard, coz they were in front of us.... know wat Derrick did?? he comfortably sat himself on the speaker.... din even bother abt us!!!!!! or me!!!!!! not once did I feel a tug or a block from dearest Derrick... Nevermind.... enough abt yesterday.... not one bit fun..... today.... I was waiting for his call or message the minute he woke up..... I waited and waited and waited until 9pm.... couldn't take it anymore, I messaged him, asked him how come he so tired, slept for so long..... know wat I got for a reply??? word for word on SMS somemore.....
"Was playing poker since i woke up hehe... I go eat dinner first later call u ok?"
Fuck.... u wake up, never call, nevermind, think of it as u are considerate, thought I still sleeping, cannot even send a sms mehz??? so hard isit??? its even harder for u to send a fucking sms to me than to turn on ur laptop and play online casino ah...... well done Derrick Low.... I dunno wat to say anymore.... u hum ji, leave me to protect everyone else last nite, I already never argue with u, now this.... eh.... I not big size lorz.... I only stand at 1.55 only lorz... even Angel was worried for me, din want me to block her.... wah.... so angry until I dun even know wat to say anymore.... FUCK lahz!!!!!
"Was playing poker since i woke up hehe... I go eat dinner first later call u ok?"
Fuck.... u wake up, never call, nevermind, think of it as u are considerate, thought I still sleeping, cannot even send a sms mehz??? so hard isit??? its even harder for u to send a fucking sms to me than to turn on ur laptop and play online casino ah...... well done Derrick Low.... I dunno wat to say anymore.... u hum ji, leave me to protect everyone else last nite, I already never argue with u, now this.... eh.... I not big size lorz.... I only stand at 1.55 only lorz... even Angel was worried for me, din want me to block her.... wah.... so angry until I dun even know wat to say anymore.... FUCK lahz!!!!!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Third day of Christmas....
Nothing new, typing my blog, uploading xmas photos, updating friendster... well, I did submit my resume to Wilem.... Hmmm.... Angel wants to go out on NYE.... but dunno where to go.... Honestly, I'm too lazy to wanna go anywhere.... Just hoping we can sit down somewhere to slack.... so dun have to dress up and be conscious of our image..... hahahaha
AHHH!!! Friendster sux!!! always so slow to update..... basket.... so irritating..... then have to keep refreshing.... so sickening.....
I wonder wat's Derrick doing now.... he never call me or msg me lehz.... but its like 5 plus already.... weird..... these few days, he doesn't sleep til the sun comes up and doesn't wake up til the sun sets..... retarded rite??? like a bloody noctournal animal like that..... and wats he doing when he's not sleeping at night?? No.... not talking to me.... playing his texas holdem lorz..... Argh..... my nail broke..... so I have to cut all..... wah.... I hate having short nails..... so irritating lorz.... okok... I wanna have my manicure done again.... TV's boring.... and my parents aren't home.... they went out to buy remote control... dunno wat my dad did to my original one lahz, but Joel said Toa Payoh got sell.... so they went lorz.... ah..... feeling so lazy and poor Angel!!! at this hour she's on her way to school lorz!!! got class at 6pm.... wah.... her lecturer sux ah..... He doesn't enjoy the christmas mood so he have to sabo the rest of the class lahz.... bloody sadist.... no wonder lahz.... he's a sad old balding fucker.... haha.... ok.... shall not be so mean.... hehehehe..... I'm gonna go shower.... super sianz.....
AHHH!!! Friendster sux!!! always so slow to update..... basket.... so irritating..... then have to keep refreshing.... so sickening.....
I wonder wat's Derrick doing now.... he never call me or msg me lehz.... but its like 5 plus already.... weird..... these few days, he doesn't sleep til the sun comes up and doesn't wake up til the sun sets..... retarded rite??? like a bloody noctournal animal like that..... and wats he doing when he's not sleeping at night?? No.... not talking to me.... playing his texas holdem lorz..... Argh..... my nail broke..... so I have to cut all..... wah.... I hate having short nails..... so irritating lorz.... okok... I wanna have my manicure done again.... TV's boring.... and my parents aren't home.... they went out to buy remote control... dunno wat my dad did to my original one lahz, but Joel said Toa Payoh got sell.... so they went lorz.... ah..... feeling so lazy and poor Angel!!! at this hour she's on her way to school lorz!!! got class at 6pm.... wah.... her lecturer sux ah..... He doesn't enjoy the christmas mood so he have to sabo the rest of the class lahz.... bloody sadist.... no wonder lahz.... he's a sad old balding fucker.... haha.... ok.... shall not be so mean.... hehehehe..... I'm gonna go shower.... super sianz.....
Monday, December 26, 2005
Boring Boxing Day....
Yesterday was kinda boring, woke up and went to my cousin's place for Christmas lunch and stayed til dinner, then after that, my nephew Raynard and I went down to meet my dearest Angel to go out to Orchard to take pictures!!!!! So Raynard went home to bathe and change while I waited under Angel's block (as usual).... Then Finally!!! Angel was ready to go! We head down to meet Derrick halfway.... but that idiot made us come out of the train coz he had a tummy ache and needed to pang sai desperately!!!! Argh.....
Ok, so we went down to Orchard and !!!!!!!!!!!! SO CROWDED!!!!! Alamak..... First of all, I wanted to take the hippo bus to take photos of the lightings, but I called up hippo tours to confirm their tours coz brilliant Joel called me to tell me of the road closure at Orchard Road!!! Guess wat???? Hippo tours said that the Christmas lighting tours are for FOREIGNERS ONLY!!! Eh!!! Wat the Fuck?!?!?!?! Of course I didn't say that to the polite girl over the phone.... but anyway.... I said, wat if I'm willing to pay more than the original price of ur normal tours??? She said... err sorry.... its free for the foreigners but locals just don't get to go..... Now I'm thinking.... Why the hell be a Singaporean and hold a red passport and pink ic when everything is better for foreigners???? STB, Singapore Tourism Board.... Hello, yah, I know that tourism is one of Singapore's main income, but recently, I heard from the news that the hotel occupancy is increasing, however, its mainly SINGAPOREANS lorz!!!!!! Eh.... Singaporean's cannot contribute to our own tourism industry isit??? So I should fly overseas and spend my money there lahz!!! @#$(*%$$%)$%* Kahyu.... Kepala Boo-toh.....
Anyway, Derrick, me, Angel and Raynard went down to Orchard.... the floats were nothing but UGLY!!!! so we tried to take as many photos as we possibly could with the other hundreds of thousands of people who were trying to do the same thing!! And oh my goodness gracious!!! there was performance on stage somewhere outside the orchard MRT, its disgusting lahz.... they were like singing taiwanese carols?!!?!?!? wat happened to Jingle Bells??? ok.... so we were disgusted and bored and so I called Joel!!! Haha, made him come down with Zoe.... Derrick, Angel, me and Raynard then sat down at StarBucks to wait for the King of Lame jokes to arrive.... After he finally arrived......... ....... .... We wanted to go pubbing.... but uh oh.... my nephew is only 17... can't enter most places..... we tried Balcony.... uh uh.... then ice cold beer, also uh uh, then lastly..... no choice.... Alley Bar..... then Angel said she didn't wanna drink too much so we each had just a magnum Hoegaarden.... with the exception of Derrick and Zoe coz they both can't drink.... As usual, we started to get bored then after the drink, we decided to head back coz it was starting to drizzle and Joel rides a bike..... so the remaining 4 of us shared a cab home, but thought it was too early, so we all went to Derrick's place..... we watched 40 yr old virgin..... anyway! we got hungry (no surprise) and went for prata, with the exception of Derrick coz he was glued to his laptop, playing online texas holdem..... so errr.... yah.... that wraps up wat happened on my Christmas for 2005.... til then.... adieu......
Ok, so we went down to Orchard and !!!!!!!!!!!! SO CROWDED!!!!! Alamak..... First of all, I wanted to take the hippo bus to take photos of the lightings, but I called up hippo tours to confirm their tours coz brilliant Joel called me to tell me of the road closure at Orchard Road!!! Guess wat???? Hippo tours said that the Christmas lighting tours are for FOREIGNERS ONLY!!! Eh!!! Wat the Fuck?!?!?!?! Of course I didn't say that to the polite girl over the phone.... but anyway.... I said, wat if I'm willing to pay more than the original price of ur normal tours??? She said... err sorry.... its free for the foreigners but locals just don't get to go..... Now I'm thinking.... Why the hell be a Singaporean and hold a red passport and pink ic when everything is better for foreigners???? STB, Singapore Tourism Board.... Hello, yah, I know that tourism is one of Singapore's main income, but recently, I heard from the news that the hotel occupancy is increasing, however, its mainly SINGAPOREANS lorz!!!!!! Eh.... Singaporean's cannot contribute to our own tourism industry isit??? So I should fly overseas and spend my money there lahz!!! @#$(*%$$%)$%* Kahyu.... Kepala Boo-toh.....
Anyway, Derrick, me, Angel and Raynard went down to Orchard.... the floats were nothing but UGLY!!!! so we tried to take as many photos as we possibly could with the other hundreds of thousands of people who were trying to do the same thing!! And oh my goodness gracious!!! there was performance on stage somewhere outside the orchard MRT, its disgusting lahz.... they were like singing taiwanese carols?!!?!?!? wat happened to Jingle Bells??? ok.... so we were disgusted and bored and so I called Joel!!! Haha, made him come down with Zoe.... Derrick, Angel, me and Raynard then sat down at StarBucks to wait for the King of Lame jokes to arrive.... After he finally arrived......... ....... .... We wanted to go pubbing.... but uh oh.... my nephew is only 17... can't enter most places..... we tried Balcony.... uh uh.... then ice cold beer, also uh uh, then lastly..... no choice.... Alley Bar..... then Angel said she didn't wanna drink too much so we each had just a magnum Hoegaarden.... with the exception of Derrick and Zoe coz they both can't drink.... As usual, we started to get bored then after the drink, we decided to head back coz it was starting to drizzle and Joel rides a bike..... so the remaining 4 of us shared a cab home, but thought it was too early, so we all went to Derrick's place..... we watched 40 yr old virgin..... anyway! we got hungry (no surprise) and went for prata, with the exception of Derrick coz he was glued to his laptop, playing online texas holdem..... so errr.... yah.... that wraps up wat happened on my Christmas for 2005.... til then.... adieu......
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Its CHRISTMAS!!!!
yay!!! its Christmas again!!!!!! hahahaha!!! Seems like Christmas is a season of love.... yes, my love and I went for Midnight Mass together at OLPS, but it was so jammed packed this year, I mean its packed every year, but this year seems more than the usual christmas crowd!! Derrick and I went early, but still had to stand outside for awhile, then we managed to squeeze in later.... Anyhow, I didn't get to stand at my usual place, coz I couldn't squeeze in (isn't it like obvious?) Mass was ok, nothing special compared to previous midnight Masses.... I brought my camera along, hoping that could take photos with the rest, but I couldn't find them, so I only took 2 photos today.... one of Kay-Lene and me, the other, is my sweetheart and me!! hehe.... He's a xmas eve baby..... so I spent the whole day with him..... mmmm.... he's been a normal human being with affection recently haha, unlike the him just before we broke up..... When I was half asleep, he kissed me and looked at me and said, "I love you"..... At that point in time, I just wished that moment could last forever..... and so I fell asleep with a HUGE smile on my face!!! Hai.... wish I wasn't home now typing this, I realised y I can't sleep when I'm home.... no darling Derrick to rub my back to sleep.... ha ha, yah I AM a big baby... or like Angel said, its a habit since I was a kid, coz I used to ask my dad to rub my back til I fell asleep.... hmmm hmmm!! Anyway its not a crime mahz... and I like to bite on corners of my small pillow... heeheehee.... and because of that, I used to have a small pillow at Derrick's place, and his mum thought that it was for Faith!! I said... errr... no.... hmmm, its mine.... *shy smile* then she laughed!! she was like.... Aiyoh!!! u like little girl like that!!! and yes, my recent 2 ponytails don't help.... and Gerald Koh!!! I dun care if u think its weird, coz I like it, hmph!! hehe...
Somehow, I'm feeling a little too happy to sleep.... I wanna go take hippo bus tmrw, errr.... later today.... take photos of Christmas lightings!!! and of course Derrick has agreed to go with me and Angel too!!! yay!!! but trying to find a fourth person to come along..... but both Joel and Qitai said no.... hehe, shall ask Derrick to ask Devin to see if he's free or Nicholas Ang also can.... Just to prevent misunderstandings.... Nicholas Ang and the bastard Nic are 2 totally different persons!!! ;) Anyway, I shall try to psycho myself to go to sleep to meet my sweetie in LaLa Land... hehe!! Messaged Angel, but think that piggy also in LaLa Land liaoz..... shit, I'm last again.... better go now!!!!
Somehow, I'm feeling a little too happy to sleep.... I wanna go take hippo bus tmrw, errr.... later today.... take photos of Christmas lightings!!! and of course Derrick has agreed to go with me and Angel too!!! yay!!! but trying to find a fourth person to come along..... but both Joel and Qitai said no.... hehe, shall ask Derrick to ask Devin to see if he's free or Nicholas Ang also can.... Just to prevent misunderstandings.... Nicholas Ang and the bastard Nic are 2 totally different persons!!! ;) Anyway, I shall try to psycho myself to go to sleep to meet my sweetie in LaLa Land... hehe!! Messaged Angel, but think that piggy also in LaLa Land liaoz..... shit, I'm last again.... better go now!!!!
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Together again!!
yupz!! we're together again!! No!! not with that bastard, with Derrick!!! yah Nic is the bastard.... no no.... very salah to be with him, still remember that ugly girl msg me and told me she pity me?? yah, now I pity her, for having a bastard as a boyfriend!! hmmm, anyway, never felt happier, never felt more stable and loved..... hmmm.... something must have happened, or has he been reading my blog to realise wat he did pissed me off before??? Anyway, he's a sweetheart now, at least I dun feel like as though the wall is my boyfriend.... haha.... hmmmm.... I can feel happiness oozing out of my every pore.... *speechless* *SMILEZ*!!!!
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Boring Sunday
Hmmmm....woke up around 1.30 pm today.... its been a long time since I had such a good sleep, uninterrupted by stupid Merlayshian who's father is a lawyer in Kampong Koala Lompor cause he simply doesn't understand english, coz I said not to disturb me while I'm sleeping.... dun message in the morning nor call coz I'd be woken up, but no.... he always does, until the fateful day that my mood was exceptionally bad and I needed to yell, so yup! he got yelled at and he got the message!! hmm! hmm! *flashes victory sign*
Anyway, last nite was really fun, Derrick brought his secondary school fren, Devin along, and he was funny lahz, so funny that Angel and I are still laughing about him today....well, we went to a fren's birthday party last nite, so, as u can expect, yes.... we had a lot to drink.... Joel was out to get me off my limit.... but we were surprised by Devin..... he couldn't drink at all!! that's y I said earlier that he was so funny that Angel and I can't stop laughing even until today and maybe we won't stop even a week later!!! Haha, but I have to admit that he's very charming too, just like Derrick, not that he was charming to me, but he was charming to Angel, uh huh.... but no, after all the goon du things he did, not charming anymore.... but hey! he can charm Angel and he's not very good looking eh!!!! But if I'm the judge, Derrick's still more charming.... okok, call me biased, I DON"T CARE!!! hmmm..... but yesterday was fun, going out with Derrick and Angel is more fun than going out with Nicholas and Michael, coz when I go clubbing with Nic and Mike, can't really have fun, wait.... its cannot have fun at all, coz I just dun feel comfortable with them.... but with Angel and Derrick, its different.... like Totally different.... we really go all out and have fun, but we won't get drunk and like puke and do disgusting things like those.... Anyway, coming to think back about last nite, I lost count of my drinks.... It has to be Joel's fault, coz he did tell me the other day that Zoe can't drink and he wants a drinking kaki... so ... ok lorz... worse thing was that birthday boy had to get a bottle of martell.... WELL DONE!!! Thank God that Desmond and Angel was there too..... well, Derrick, Devin and Zoe can't drink mahz.... so its just left with Angel, Joel and me lorz.... Didn't help that I lost to Joel in stupid games and had to keep downing.... And I was afraid Angel would fall from being high, so I had to keep supporting her and she kept saying bye to other pple!!! Oh my.... ha ha, so funny!!! If I could film the happenings through the nite, I would.... It would be so funny and I can blackmail Angel!!! Hah!!
But after waking up.... I was so bored.... everybody else are still sleeping lorz!!!! So BORED!!!! Its Sunday..... and its a boring one.... I can't believe that christmas is just next week!!! Oh my, I haven't bought my dress for Christmas..... Die..... I'm like so dead lahz....
Hmmm, its gonna be the beginning of a new week, got to give tuition on Monday, then maybe go Malaysia, then this week, I'll have to go to Ngee Ann to print my result slips then register at SIM for my studies.... yeah.... I'm going back to school..... its gonna suck coz, I ain't gonna work and that means that I ain't gonna have alot of cash which means.... no more shopping!!! no more LVs!!! no more manicure and pedicure and even my trips into Malaysia would be greatly reduced!!!! Oh God.... Think I better start sending my resumes out this week then faster go work for awhile and then save up money.... Angel was saying that i should save up money coz after we grad, we can go Korea!!!! yay!!! then my Korean language skills can come in handy!!! hahaha..... I've learnt quite abit of simple Korean already, but there's no one for me to converse with..... so I dun get to practise much..... haiz..... i should stop procrastinating already and get my ass moving!!! haha..... Time to get some work done..... hehehehe, then can go shopping....
I think I need to clean my liver..... Between December and Feb is the time when my liver has to keep doing OT.... Party, functions, more parties and more functions..... ok.... time to drink some water.... .....
..... to be continued..... (hah!)
Anyway, last nite was really fun, Derrick brought his secondary school fren, Devin along, and he was funny lahz, so funny that Angel and I are still laughing about him today....well, we went to a fren's birthday party last nite, so, as u can expect, yes.... we had a lot to drink.... Joel was out to get me off my limit.... but we were surprised by Devin..... he couldn't drink at all!! that's y I said earlier that he was so funny that Angel and I can't stop laughing even until today and maybe we won't stop even a week later!!! Haha, but I have to admit that he's very charming too, just like Derrick, not that he was charming to me, but he was charming to Angel, uh huh.... but no, after all the goon du things he did, not charming anymore.... but hey! he can charm Angel and he's not very good looking eh!!!! But if I'm the judge, Derrick's still more charming.... okok, call me biased, I DON"T CARE!!! hmmm..... but yesterday was fun, going out with Derrick and Angel is more fun than going out with Nicholas and Michael, coz when I go clubbing with Nic and Mike, can't really have fun, wait.... its cannot have fun at all, coz I just dun feel comfortable with them.... but with Angel and Derrick, its different.... like Totally different.... we really go all out and have fun, but we won't get drunk and like puke and do disgusting things like those.... Anyway, coming to think back about last nite, I lost count of my drinks.... It has to be Joel's fault, coz he did tell me the other day that Zoe can't drink and he wants a drinking kaki... so ... ok lorz... worse thing was that birthday boy had to get a bottle of martell.... WELL DONE!!! Thank God that Desmond and Angel was there too..... well, Derrick, Devin and Zoe can't drink mahz.... so its just left with Angel, Joel and me lorz.... Didn't help that I lost to Joel in stupid games and had to keep downing.... And I was afraid Angel would fall from being high, so I had to keep supporting her and she kept saying bye to other pple!!! Oh my.... ha ha, so funny!!! If I could film the happenings through the nite, I would.... It would be so funny and I can blackmail Angel!!! Hah!!
But after waking up.... I was so bored.... everybody else are still sleeping lorz!!!! So BORED!!!! Its Sunday..... and its a boring one.... I can't believe that christmas is just next week!!! Oh my, I haven't bought my dress for Christmas..... Die..... I'm like so dead lahz....
Hmmm, its gonna be the beginning of a new week, got to give tuition on Monday, then maybe go Malaysia, then this week, I'll have to go to Ngee Ann to print my result slips then register at SIM for my studies.... yeah.... I'm going back to school..... its gonna suck coz, I ain't gonna work and that means that I ain't gonna have alot of cash which means.... no more shopping!!! no more LVs!!! no more manicure and pedicure and even my trips into Malaysia would be greatly reduced!!!! Oh God.... Think I better start sending my resumes out this week then faster go work for awhile and then save up money.... Angel was saying that i should save up money coz after we grad, we can go Korea!!!! yay!!! then my Korean language skills can come in handy!!! hahaha..... I've learnt quite abit of simple Korean already, but there's no one for me to converse with..... so I dun get to practise much..... haiz..... i should stop procrastinating already and get my ass moving!!! haha..... Time to get some work done..... hehehehe, then can go shopping....
I think I need to clean my liver..... Between December and Feb is the time when my liver has to keep doing OT.... Party, functions, more parties and more functions..... ok.... time to drink some water.... .....
..... to be continued..... (hah!)
Monday, December 12, 2005
long day....
After tuition, went to meet Joel in town coz Zoe wanted to see LV.... hehe, but I'm too broke to buy anything.... Then we walked like hell.... wrong thing today, I was wearing my super high heels.... looked good, but definitely didn't feel good..... Went to Taka, then Paragon then Tangs and everywhere else in between, then we took a bus to PS coz Joel wanted to watch a movie, but in the end, both Zoe and I were too tired for movie, so brilliantly, Zoe said she wanted to see how does the free Compaq laptop by StarHub, so where else could we go but Best Denki?? So we went, so as usual, the usual bunch of salesmen were there(as much as they love to address themselves as sales exec.....duh....) and we saw the ugly girl..... haha, anyway, even after seeing the laptop, our dearest Zoe still can't make up her mind on whether it should be StarHub with Compaq or Singnet with IBM..... but the good side of it was, we went to eat tau huey!!!! yay!!! I missed it so much..... But had to come home myself after that.... haiz.....
Anyway, he said he would call.... and talk.... I said Wateva, I'll watch and see.... and as expected, no calls.... see??? well, its still considered early, so I'll wait lorz.... My legs are aching like mad now.... Argh.... Thankfully, I'm just glad that Chris didn't come along today.... It would really be kinda awkward.... And, maybe he's very busy too, so no messages, haha, maybe he decided that I'm not his type.... I can't believe that I just let another rich fish go.... but right now, everything's been in too much of a mess.... Better not get involved again.... or at least not yet.... then maybe old thing is better, coz experience does count, but old thing not gentlemen, not loving, not caring.... haiz.... sad love life.... wat have done??? hmmmm... dunno, dun care lorz.... wat else can I do anyway??? Maybe I just dunno how to manipulate.... maybe, I'm too stupid for relationships, maybe I should just be a nun.... argh..... dun wanna think for now.....
Anyway, he said he would call.... and talk.... I said Wateva, I'll watch and see.... and as expected, no calls.... see??? well, its still considered early, so I'll wait lorz.... My legs are aching like mad now.... Argh.... Thankfully, I'm just glad that Chris didn't come along today.... It would really be kinda awkward.... And, maybe he's very busy too, so no messages, haha, maybe he decided that I'm not his type.... I can't believe that I just let another rich fish go.... but right now, everything's been in too much of a mess.... Better not get involved again.... or at least not yet.... then maybe old thing is better, coz experience does count, but old thing not gentlemen, not loving, not caring.... haiz.... sad love life.... wat have done??? hmmmm... dunno, dun care lorz.... wat else can I do anyway??? Maybe I just dunno how to manipulate.... maybe, I'm too stupid for relationships, maybe I should just be a nun.... argh..... dun wanna think for now.....
DU LAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angry.... very angry.... as of yesterday, its been fucked up as in FUCKED UP for me..... y?? WHY are men such mother fuckers?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!!??!!? U dun fucking talk nicely, all the lan jiao uey, then get together already, say, got nothing to talk abt wat.... FUCK YOU!!!! I despise such pple.... Even the scumbag of the universe deserve more respect than u!!!! Since u like to snoop around diaries and handphone messages to find out wat I think, let me save u the trouble, READ MY BLOG!!! I will think out loud so u can read to ur heart's content and will stop u from being an ass to read my diary and check my handphone.... And this motherfucker is not the end of my worst day!!!
My closest poly fren's gf, gave my number to her colleague who has been pestering her for my number.... Oh God.... u know that my love life is a fucking mess now.... dun bring another person in to drive me nuts.... and this guy is pestering lorz... I hate pestering guys.... Derrick was pestering, his pestyness caused Nic and I to break up, after I was with Derrick coz he wouldn't stop pestering me, I became just another trophy.... as much as he denies it, I'm not blind neither are my frens.... U do this to me.... for wat??? u ruined my very happy relationship with Nic, u kept coming in between and then? now, u know that Nic and I won't be together anymore then u decided that I'm just someone important enough for u to want to see me occasionally??? Wat exactly is ur problem??? u get a kick out of doing such things??? I've got nothing, zilch, ditto to say anymore.... Talk so much about integrity, principles, moral, where were all of those when u came between Nic and me??? WHERE??? in ur ass or u flushed it down the toilet bowl and only happened to find it after I gave up and decided to be with u coz u wouldn't fuck off??? U like me to come out say the things that I never wanted to say to u rite? ok, here's it,
Even Gerald was a better boyfriend, yes, he still pisses me off, but he wouldn't watch TV and talk to me at the same time, if I said I wanted to sleep early, he would talk to me first and then after I sleep then he'll watch his TV, and not tell me, either I sleep first or u wait til this programme ends. Even though he lives at one end of Singapore and I live at the other, he'll still send me home, u?? not even, I live just one MRT stop after u lorz.... not very far, but cannot even send me home.... Nicholas, yup, he's always broke and always spend money on the wrong things and listens to retarded moron like Michael, but at least even the blind can see that he really cares for me, Beethoven can hear how much he loves me.... we were even planning to get married..... U??? care for me?? how?? did u appreciate the things I did for u??? everytime I wanted a break up, you would talk shit to me, all those things that u say, all bull shit, nothing better, but could be worse... I really have to ask God, why in the world did u send such a snob of an ass into my life only to screw it up??? WHY???!!! At the end of the day, I'm the only one hurting.... I hurt the love of my life so much, he in turn has already gotten the revenge he wanted by hurting me back too, I hurt myself by being with Derrick, in the end, only to get more hurt from him.... Hey, this situation is really not fair ah.... yah Derrick always says that Nothing in this world is fair.... Its really not, how come other more adorable and lovable babies are being aborted but not him?? How come so many pple die in freak accidents but not him??? WHY WHY WHY???? I'm so angry and sad that I feel like throwing myself off the block, but being a typical girl, I dun wanna die ugly....
Maybe if I were to date again in future, make sure, he doesn't like salty food, Gerald loved salty food, Nic needs soy sauce in his rice before he'll eat it and best is to have his pok pok cai, Derrick, ah! I dun wanna talk abt him!
My throat is hurting, my back is aching, my heart is hurting, eyes are tearing, body is shaking.... wat happened??? Sick and down and out.... but no one cares.... In the past, when I was sick, Nic would rush down to my house and see how I was, if it was bad, he would bring me to the doctor despite my not liking to see a doctor, but Derrick, he doesn't care, he'll just tell u, go see doctor lah. Eh, my dog can show more concern than u lorz.... Think I better stop here.... before I start going crazy.... That bastard better be having a nightmare of his life tonight, while I lament in my blog, he's sleeping.... Well done Derrick!! U aced the test for How to be a mother fucker!! Its morning, first ray of sunlight seeping thru my window.... oh fuck, I haven't slept a wink....
My closest poly fren's gf, gave my number to her colleague who has been pestering her for my number.... Oh God.... u know that my love life is a fucking mess now.... dun bring another person in to drive me nuts.... and this guy is pestering lorz... I hate pestering guys.... Derrick was pestering, his pestyness caused Nic and I to break up, after I was with Derrick coz he wouldn't stop pestering me, I became just another trophy.... as much as he denies it, I'm not blind neither are my frens.... U do this to me.... for wat??? u ruined my very happy relationship with Nic, u kept coming in between and then? now, u know that Nic and I won't be together anymore then u decided that I'm just someone important enough for u to want to see me occasionally??? Wat exactly is ur problem??? u get a kick out of doing such things??? I've got nothing, zilch, ditto to say anymore.... Talk so much about integrity, principles, moral, where were all of those when u came between Nic and me??? WHERE??? in ur ass or u flushed it down the toilet bowl and only happened to find it after I gave up and decided to be with u coz u wouldn't fuck off??? U like me to come out say the things that I never wanted to say to u rite? ok, here's it,
Even Gerald was a better boyfriend, yes, he still pisses me off, but he wouldn't watch TV and talk to me at the same time, if I said I wanted to sleep early, he would talk to me first and then after I sleep then he'll watch his TV, and not tell me, either I sleep first or u wait til this programme ends. Even though he lives at one end of Singapore and I live at the other, he'll still send me home, u?? not even, I live just one MRT stop after u lorz.... not very far, but cannot even send me home.... Nicholas, yup, he's always broke and always spend money on the wrong things and listens to retarded moron like Michael, but at least even the blind can see that he really cares for me, Beethoven can hear how much he loves me.... we were even planning to get married..... U??? care for me?? how?? did u appreciate the things I did for u??? everytime I wanted a break up, you would talk shit to me, all those things that u say, all bull shit, nothing better, but could be worse... I really have to ask God, why in the world did u send such a snob of an ass into my life only to screw it up??? WHY???!!! At the end of the day, I'm the only one hurting.... I hurt the love of my life so much, he in turn has already gotten the revenge he wanted by hurting me back too, I hurt myself by being with Derrick, in the end, only to get more hurt from him.... Hey, this situation is really not fair ah.... yah Derrick always says that Nothing in this world is fair.... Its really not, how come other more adorable and lovable babies are being aborted but not him?? How come so many pple die in freak accidents but not him??? WHY WHY WHY???? I'm so angry and sad that I feel like throwing myself off the block, but being a typical girl, I dun wanna die ugly....
Maybe if I were to date again in future, make sure, he doesn't like salty food, Gerald loved salty food, Nic needs soy sauce in his rice before he'll eat it and best is to have his pok pok cai, Derrick, ah! I dun wanna talk abt him!
My throat is hurting, my back is aching, my heart is hurting, eyes are tearing, body is shaking.... wat happened??? Sick and down and out.... but no one cares.... In the past, when I was sick, Nic would rush down to my house and see how I was, if it was bad, he would bring me to the doctor despite my not liking to see a doctor, but Derrick, he doesn't care, he'll just tell u, go see doctor lah. Eh, my dog can show more concern than u lorz.... Think I better stop here.... before I start going crazy.... That bastard better be having a nightmare of his life tonight, while I lament in my blog, he's sleeping.... Well done Derrick!! U aced the test for How to be a mother fucker!! Its morning, first ray of sunlight seeping thru my window.... oh fuck, I haven't slept a wink....
Saturday, December 10, 2005
tired....
wah, just got home awhile ago.... bloody tired.... spent the whole day in Malaysia.... hmmm, did quite abit of things, but most importantly, Derrick did facial today and OH MY GOD!!! if I could film down how much things the beautician squeezed out of his very clogged and inflammed pore.... I would have.... oh.... wat a sight man.... I never thought our pores could contain so much rubbish!!!! Anyway, the beautician did a marvellous and incredible job, results was almost instantaneous!! his cheeks like cleared up alot lorz!!! Miraculous man....
Tired Tired Tired..... still got no mouse for my thinkpad.... still can't find my IR port.... du lan.... next week should be going out with Angel..... hehee, very happy with my pedicure!!! and very cheap!!!! hehehe, if got more time, surely do manicure also.... Must see when Zoe is going in again, then can go together.... hehehehehehe..... y my phone haven't ring..... super sianz.... got to give tuition later at 9am... WAH!!!! KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok lahz, msn with my frens for awhile more then orr orr liaoz..... hmmmm, ear very itchy, dunno who's calling me.... but phone not ringing................................... damn.... shit.... haiz.....
Tired Tired Tired..... still got no mouse for my thinkpad.... still can't find my IR port.... du lan.... next week should be going out with Angel..... hehee, very happy with my pedicure!!! and very cheap!!!! hehehe, if got more time, surely do manicure also.... Must see when Zoe is going in again, then can go together.... hehehehehehe..... y my phone haven't ring..... super sianz.... got to give tuition later at 9am... WAH!!!! KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok lahz, msn with my frens for awhile more then orr orr liaoz..... hmmmm, ear very itchy, dunno who's calling me.... but phone not ringing................................... damn.... shit.... haiz.....
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Annoyed.....
Nah, no one did anything to me, its my new darling that pissed me off.... MY IBM!!!!! I can't find the damn Infra Red Port!!!! I've been like flipping the damn black box 360 degrees and doing all sorts of stunts with it, but NO...... still can't find the annoying bloody port.... Argh.... I'm going Malaysia tmrw, accompany Zoe.... wah.... 9am reach Woodlands lehz.... *faints* no choice, going into Pontien, so have to leave Singapore early.... and wat the hell am I doing awake and typing blog at this hour rite??? haha, can't sleep.... hehe. Busy msning with people I've never really spoken to, not that they're online frens, they are my frens, just that hardly spoke....
...... bored, waiting for replies..... Angel is like lost in La La Land already, hmmmm, she wanted me to accompany her to school tmrw, but I'm going to Malaysia.... so I can't.... argh.... feel so bad.... hmmm, back to searching for that darned IR.... pisser.... argh.....
...... bored, waiting for replies..... Angel is like lost in La La Land already, hmmmm, she wanted me to accompany her to school tmrw, but I'm going to Malaysia.... so I can't.... argh.... feel so bad.... hmmm, back to searching for that darned IR.... pisser.... argh.....
Its over....
Well, its been a pretty rough year, its coming to an end, however many things have already ended.... Hah, yah, talking abt none other than myself.... So much has happened that I don't even know where to start!! Angel has been a great pal to me, as much as that we both agree that we have attitude problem, but honestly, it doesn't matter.... I left Derrick, yes again, and many would say, finally... but hmmm, its hard to walk away from someone who cares and being a girl, softhearted, it was difficult for me to break his heart..... That day..... horrible....
I called Angel at abt 12.30am on the 7th November, despite the fact that she had a morning class that day, she didn't pick up the phone, so naturally, I thought she was already asleep.... who else could I call for help with so much things to bring home??? I didn't have a proper luggage, neither did I want any help from Derrick..... He has trespassed too often.... I called Nic, to my surprise, he was attached, it took me awhile to register that, it hurt, I won't deny it, coz 2 weeks ago, he said things like he's still hurt, not over the relationship and more bullshit.... so Angel called me back, apparently, she was bathing.... Despite having already bathed and a morning class to attend, she came over, helped me pack everything and called Qitai, to drive me home.... I sobbed, cried.... was confused, was it over walking out of Derrick's place or Nicholas having a girl beside him that's not me?? I thought of Nicholas constantly after that day, 7th of every month was supposed to have been our anniversary, he chose that day to tell me that he got attached.... was that on purpose? or was it pure coincidence?? I honestly don't have the answer to that.... Anyway, amazingly, on the 7th, I cried like there was no tomorrow, went to the airport to cry, well, most people thought that my most beloved just took a plane.... hmmm... it was a good place to cry, people won't give u weird stares.... haha. Anyway, after I was done crying, I was fine already, I don't want to waste my tears for those 2 assholes.... Days went by slowly, Angel going overseas didn't make things any better, so I occupied myself with DVD, Full House!!!! LOVE the show to bits.... to a point whereby I'm now picking up Korean.....
Let's just say that Nicholas was my first love and the man I spent most of my time with and we went everywhere together, I can't think of a place in Singapore that Nic and I haven't gone before, oh yah, PSA, haha.... I guess, deep down there'll always be this special place just for him, and the only way for me to get over him is to feel that he is dead.... yup, so its as good as saying, Nicholas is dead, nothing I say nor do will turn back time, nor will we be together again. This boy is just someone who's almost a replica of the Nicholas I once loved. Anyways, his new girlfriend is like Ugly ah!!! Wait!!! I'm not being jealous, this is an unanimous feedback from many people, and she dare say that she pities me.... Wah.... Thanks, but no thanks, save the pity for urself.... I'm really not the pitiful one lorz.... Anyway, about Derrick.... hai.... he's a big headache....
I really really dunno whether he's heartless, feelingless or just not someone to show his emotions.... he's worse than a piece of glass..... at times, he makes me hate him, at other times, he makes me love him.... he's got a good IQ, very very bad EQ.... he knows what he should do, but he always choose not to do it..... so in general, he pisses people off.... He doesn't know how to use inflection, power and pause in his voice and conversation, so he's very monotonous in conversation and that gives people the feeling that he's not interested, doesn't care.... so that's how problems arose and things got nasty....
Anyway.... hope Nic's dad is feeling better already, its just not very right for me to keep showing my concern lahz.... so, hmmm... and yah, last nite, I re-read all the letters that Nic wrote to me from 16/6/04 onwards.... As I read it, I realised that most of wat men say, is bullshit, u can't blame me for being cynical, coz for the relationship, the person who chose to walk away in the end was Nic, when he wouldn't trust me and he let this lame thing take over, oh yah, for Nicholas, there are 2 lame things that controls his life, the first is his EGO!!!!!! the second is the ugly and stupid Michael Peh Han Sen, hmmm, just felt like typing his full name out... yupperz, so seriously, even Nicholas' mum doesn't like Michael, so period, need I elaborate further???
I really miss typing my blog, I feel like I can go on and on.... but I better stop for now.... so happy now, coz I've got a new laptop, wireless and my desktop has internet now!!! hahahahahaha!!!! heheheheheheh!!!! Tata!!! An Nyeong ah sae yo!!!
I called Angel at abt 12.30am on the 7th November, despite the fact that she had a morning class that day, she didn't pick up the phone, so naturally, I thought she was already asleep.... who else could I call for help with so much things to bring home??? I didn't have a proper luggage, neither did I want any help from Derrick..... He has trespassed too often.... I called Nic, to my surprise, he was attached, it took me awhile to register that, it hurt, I won't deny it, coz 2 weeks ago, he said things like he's still hurt, not over the relationship and more bullshit.... so Angel called me back, apparently, she was bathing.... Despite having already bathed and a morning class to attend, she came over, helped me pack everything and called Qitai, to drive me home.... I sobbed, cried.... was confused, was it over walking out of Derrick's place or Nicholas having a girl beside him that's not me?? I thought of Nicholas constantly after that day, 7th of every month was supposed to have been our anniversary, he chose that day to tell me that he got attached.... was that on purpose? or was it pure coincidence?? I honestly don't have the answer to that.... Anyway, amazingly, on the 7th, I cried like there was no tomorrow, went to the airport to cry, well, most people thought that my most beloved just took a plane.... hmmm... it was a good place to cry, people won't give u weird stares.... haha. Anyway, after I was done crying, I was fine already, I don't want to waste my tears for those 2 assholes.... Days went by slowly, Angel going overseas didn't make things any better, so I occupied myself with DVD, Full House!!!! LOVE the show to bits.... to a point whereby I'm now picking up Korean.....
Let's just say that Nicholas was my first love and the man I spent most of my time with and we went everywhere together, I can't think of a place in Singapore that Nic and I haven't gone before, oh yah, PSA, haha.... I guess, deep down there'll always be this special place just for him, and the only way for me to get over him is to feel that he is dead.... yup, so its as good as saying, Nicholas is dead, nothing I say nor do will turn back time, nor will we be together again. This boy is just someone who's almost a replica of the Nicholas I once loved. Anyways, his new girlfriend is like Ugly ah!!! Wait!!! I'm not being jealous, this is an unanimous feedback from many people, and she dare say that she pities me.... Wah.... Thanks, but no thanks, save the pity for urself.... I'm really not the pitiful one lorz.... Anyway, about Derrick.... hai.... he's a big headache....
I really really dunno whether he's heartless, feelingless or just not someone to show his emotions.... he's worse than a piece of glass..... at times, he makes me hate him, at other times, he makes me love him.... he's got a good IQ, very very bad EQ.... he knows what he should do, but he always choose not to do it..... so in general, he pisses people off.... He doesn't know how to use inflection, power and pause in his voice and conversation, so he's very monotonous in conversation and that gives people the feeling that he's not interested, doesn't care.... so that's how problems arose and things got nasty....
Anyway.... hope Nic's dad is feeling better already, its just not very right for me to keep showing my concern lahz.... so, hmmm... and yah, last nite, I re-read all the letters that Nic wrote to me from 16/6/04 onwards.... As I read it, I realised that most of wat men say, is bullshit, u can't blame me for being cynical, coz for the relationship, the person who chose to walk away in the end was Nic, when he wouldn't trust me and he let this lame thing take over, oh yah, for Nicholas, there are 2 lame things that controls his life, the first is his EGO!!!!!! the second is the ugly and stupid Michael Peh Han Sen, hmmm, just felt like typing his full name out... yupperz, so seriously, even Nicholas' mum doesn't like Michael, so period, need I elaborate further???
I really miss typing my blog, I feel like I can go on and on.... but I better stop for now.... so happy now, coz I've got a new laptop, wireless and my desktop has internet now!!! hahahahahaha!!!! heheheheheheh!!!! Tata!!! An Nyeong ah sae yo!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
bitch... Bitch.... BITCH!!!!
Wah.... went to SIM today.... stupid gay by the name of Damian pissed me off today.... first of all, made comments on my LV bag and wallet.... watever... "Hey, if u can't afford LV, u can always cross the road, there's Gucci in Paragon!!!" oh.... gay boy... to think that I heard that he's been nominated for some pagaent??? wah.... the person who nominated him must be blind lahz.... I think the bats can see better than that person.... haiz.... disgusted me the whole time I was at SIM today.... he behaves like a sissy and he doesn't want people to know that he's gay!!! haha... yah, I'm still amused at him being naive... or rather... dumb.... and he's such a meanie!!! he screamed at his old fren (its a girl, a very nice one) for nothing!!!! like hey, I know u're gay, but ultimately, u're the one wearing the pants, and dun scream at ur good ol' pal for nothing, especially when its a girl!!!! like not many pple can tolerate such a disgusting freak(I'm only targeting this gay), can u like be nice to her.... no.... be a bastard.... *irks*
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Part II
I'm back.... Fed Faith already, well... Faith was a good girl, she finished up all her food, just hope that she doesn't throw a temper tantrum and shits all over the place again.... Fed the 2 fishes as well, although the fighting fish looks very much like he's trying to survive.... Poor fish....
Was walking around with Derrick for awhile.... Was sad that he had to go back to work... Was even more sad when he said things like, 2 more weeks and internship would be over, would you give me 2 weeks? I screwed up 1 weekend and you become like this, what if in future I need to go overseas??
So I guess now its not right for me to want to have him with me all the time and its wrong for me to miss him???
I give up.... I should get him out of my life more often I guess... In that way, I wouldn't really need him around me most of the time and I wouldn't be so upset and he won't need to say such things.... Well.... I don't even know what to say anymore... Tonight he's going for meeting for the internet marketing business... I guess if he's not gonna be home early, then I'll just head home....No point me staying here awaiting his return right??? Hmph... Guinness World Records primetime for me now....
Was walking around with Derrick for awhile.... Was sad that he had to go back to work... Was even more sad when he said things like, 2 more weeks and internship would be over, would you give me 2 weeks? I screwed up 1 weekend and you become like this, what if in future I need to go overseas??
So I guess now its not right for me to want to have him with me all the time and its wrong for me to miss him???
I give up.... I should get him out of my life more often I guess... In that way, I wouldn't really need him around me most of the time and I wouldn't be so upset and he won't need to say such things.... Well.... I don't even know what to say anymore... Tonight he's going for meeting for the internet marketing business... I guess if he's not gonna be home early, then I'll just head home....No point me staying here awaiting his return right??? Hmph... Guinness World Records primetime for me now....
....????
Hmmmm... its Thursday already!!!! still rainy.... its really getting on my nerves... something about rainy days that makes me lethargic, or does that apply to everyone?? mmm... watever.... Well... I did manage to crawl out of bed this morning at 8.45am to see the doctor about my blood test, turns out fine, no problem, but the doctor said that if I do hurt my leg again, the pain and swell is bound to be back... Sux doesn't it.... Everything in my life now seems pretty sucky... or did the realisation only kicked in after I watch Bridget Jones Diary??
Can I say that my life is pretty similar?? Nono, I'm not in television business.... Well.... Daniel Cleaver seems like Nic whereas Mark Darcy seems like Derrick.... okok... I'm in dream world.... I'm frustrated so just let me vent alrite???? I've got enough sucky things coming my way already....
Sex sux, love life's boring coz partner is interning in a bank and holds committee title in CCA in University, is also a business partner in a internet marketing business and gives tuition to 3 kids.... Well... he's not exactly strapped for cash, but he's definitely pushing himself to the limit.... ok, basically yes, my problem lies with his lack of time or rather his inability to juggle his many many works and family time.... I'm almost living with him already, but the only time we have together is probably the wee hours of the mornings on a normal basis, and yes that's when I'm dead asleep.... Internship's fine.... everyone goes through it at one time or another, but CCA at University level??? Okok, I had my share of CCA when I was in polytechnic, but I made sure they didn't get to push me around expecting me to free up my time for this event and that event and brain-storming and this and that and yes RUBBISH!!! Yes committee members are the board of morons that hold the retarded club together, but please don't do things in an inefficient way.... Ok... I'm talking about a group of university guys that are in the mid 20s already??? Yes, I'm not older but from the way they carried out their jobs, I would say one word... disappointing.... never believed that uni students could be so moronic, can't even get a simple thing done efficiently... alrite enough about morons, okok, I don't have anything else to complain, yes he comes home early from work, cancel tuition classes to come home earlier, but most of the time he's on the net checking his stuffs and all, he's perpetually glued to the computer.... Like tonight, I said I wanna go home, Derrick wouldn't let me, said wanna keep company, but he's got the internet marketing meeting and God knows what time he'll be home!!! Yes, I don't deny he tries to make time for me, he comes home for lunch, well.... Nevermind.... Sometimes I ask myself, do I really love him?? Do I want him??? I did love him and I did want him before, but is it still the same??? Yes it is, just that I'm not so passionate as before, I'm used to just hugs and good night pecks and sleep.... Some people might not totally agree with me, but honestly, I need to feel needed, I need to feel wanted and with Derrick, I don't, even though he keeps telling me that he loves me but that's just not enough and I'm just getting used to it.... Used to ....... nevermind.....
I've got to go, need to meet my mum, Derrick just saw that I've started to blog again and his facial expressions were different before he left the house after my mum called.... Whatever his problem was.... I don't know, I won't ask.... not anymore, it's probably something about me again.... He thinks that I'm thinking silly stuffs.... well I'm not thinking silly stuffs.... I just think that I"m neglected and I Am!! and that I'm not needed nor wanted as well... Meanwhile, I'll just get used to it....
Can I say that my life is pretty similar?? Nono, I'm not in television business.... Well.... Daniel Cleaver seems like Nic whereas Mark Darcy seems like Derrick.... okok... I'm in dream world.... I'm frustrated so just let me vent alrite???? I've got enough sucky things coming my way already....
Sex sux, love life's boring coz partner is interning in a bank and holds committee title in CCA in University, is also a business partner in a internet marketing business and gives tuition to 3 kids.... Well... he's not exactly strapped for cash, but he's definitely pushing himself to the limit.... ok, basically yes, my problem lies with his lack of time or rather his inability to juggle his many many works and family time.... I'm almost living with him already, but the only time we have together is probably the wee hours of the mornings on a normal basis, and yes that's when I'm dead asleep.... Internship's fine.... everyone goes through it at one time or another, but CCA at University level??? Okok, I had my share of CCA when I was in polytechnic, but I made sure they didn't get to push me around expecting me to free up my time for this event and that event and brain-storming and this and that and yes RUBBISH!!! Yes committee members are the board of morons that hold the retarded club together, but please don't do things in an inefficient way.... Ok... I'm talking about a group of university guys that are in the mid 20s already??? Yes, I'm not older but from the way they carried out their jobs, I would say one word... disappointing.... never believed that uni students could be so moronic, can't even get a simple thing done efficiently... alrite enough about morons, okok, I don't have anything else to complain, yes he comes home early from work, cancel tuition classes to come home earlier, but most of the time he's on the net checking his stuffs and all, he's perpetually glued to the computer.... Like tonight, I said I wanna go home, Derrick wouldn't let me, said wanna keep company, but he's got the internet marketing meeting and God knows what time he'll be home!!! Yes, I don't deny he tries to make time for me, he comes home for lunch, well.... Nevermind.... Sometimes I ask myself, do I really love him?? Do I want him??? I did love him and I did want him before, but is it still the same??? Yes it is, just that I'm not so passionate as before, I'm used to just hugs and good night pecks and sleep.... Some people might not totally agree with me, but honestly, I need to feel needed, I need to feel wanted and with Derrick, I don't, even though he keeps telling me that he loves me but that's just not enough and I'm just getting used to it.... Used to ....... nevermind.....
I've got to go, need to meet my mum, Derrick just saw that I've started to blog again and his facial expressions were different before he left the house after my mum called.... Whatever his problem was.... I don't know, I won't ask.... not anymore, it's probably something about me again.... He thinks that I'm thinking silly stuffs.... well I'm not thinking silly stuffs.... I just think that I"m neglected and I Am!! and that I'm not needed nor wanted as well... Meanwhile, I'll just get used to it....
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Grumpy....
Grumpy Weds.... didn't want to do any housework today.... so I watched DVD when I woke up.... Watched Bridget Jones Diary.... nice... nice show, didn't watch it years ago.... will probably watch part 2 tomorrow.... Grumpy day not only because put on weight.... but coz some things just suck when they shouldn't suck!!!
Yah.... unwilling sex sucks, those obliging ones.... for the sake of it... and for God's sake.... it sucks.... Ah!!! I give up.... I'm going back to my magazine for more weight loss inspiration or should I be just like Fann and Zoe? Just subscribe to pills like extrim and xando??? Hey.... Maybe I should try the pills and super detox and diet all at the same time!! If the pills really do works then results should be excellent and fast... Hmmmm.... think about it first.... back to magazine and TV for now.....
Yah.... unwilling sex sucks, those obliging ones.... for the sake of it... and for God's sake.... it sucks.... Ah!!! I give up.... I'm going back to my magazine for more weight loss inspiration or should I be just like Fann and Zoe? Just subscribe to pills like extrim and xando??? Hey.... Maybe I should try the pills and super detox and diet all at the same time!! If the pills really do works then results should be excellent and fast... Hmmmm.... think about it first.... back to magazine and TV for now.....
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Wet Wet Wet...
Its a Tuesday, hmmm.. let's back track...
Sunday was tiring, spent the whole morning and afternoon cleaning the windows and cleaning the entire kitchen, took me a total of 5 hours.... After washing up the kitchen, started to prepare for the night's dinner, coz that night its was Derrick's uncle's wedding.... well.... its was after my bath that I began to realise something..... something real bad..... I think I'm piling on FATS!!!! oh no..... sianz..... but Derrick said, no ah, looks good.... ;) still.... an evil plan is beginning to crawl up my sleeves.....
Monday.... took her for drink and... okok, stop singing... Monday was blue.... no, not that I'm working, just that my knee is still a little painful and since Sunday night went for dinner, I definitely wore heels, which didn't help, anyway, didn't have time to blog coz was busy cleaning my darling's very dusty and messy room.... Been talking to his sister recently, she's quite interesting actually, haha, she shares the same name as me!! Anyway, Derrick came home and helped to clean up the rest of his mess and WALAH!!! his room is nice and clean and neat and cozy.... Simply love it!!
Arhh.... Sleepy Tuesday.... had weird dreams last night.... dreamt of people dying.... sianz.... anyway, woke up early because of the nightmare.... just nice coz Derrick was going to bring me to the doctor for blood test coz the doctor say need to check what exactly is wrong with my knee..... pain pain..... Derrick was late for work coz waited for the doctor.... haiz.... so sad, the doctor said that the layer of oil in my blood quite high..... haiyoh.... sianz.... so this morning, I made a resolution with immediate effect, to spend the next 2 - 3 days to wash my body out of toxins.... No solid food (unless I'm gonna faint) only plain water and chinese tea, coz no sugar....
:<>
Its raining, wait... that's an understatement... Its pouring!!! damn.... the clothes won't beable to dry so soon already..... damn the rain..... ah! Derrick's gonna be home soon for lunch and yes... I don't have lunch..... hmmm.... chinese tea and water is gonna be my best friend...... haiz.....
Sunday was tiring, spent the whole morning and afternoon cleaning the windows and cleaning the entire kitchen, took me a total of 5 hours.... After washing up the kitchen, started to prepare for the night's dinner, coz that night its was Derrick's uncle's wedding.... well.... its was after my bath that I began to realise something..... something real bad..... I think I'm piling on FATS!!!! oh no..... sianz..... but Derrick said, no ah, looks good.... ;) still.... an evil plan is beginning to crawl up my sleeves.....
Monday.... took her for drink and... okok, stop singing... Monday was blue.... no, not that I'm working, just that my knee is still a little painful and since Sunday night went for dinner, I definitely wore heels, which didn't help, anyway, didn't have time to blog coz was busy cleaning my darling's very dusty and messy room.... Been talking to his sister recently, she's quite interesting actually, haha, she shares the same name as me!! Anyway, Derrick came home and helped to clean up the rest of his mess and WALAH!!! his room is nice and clean and neat and cozy.... Simply love it!!
Arhh.... Sleepy Tuesday.... had weird dreams last night.... dreamt of people dying.... sianz.... anyway, woke up early because of the nightmare.... just nice coz Derrick was going to bring me to the doctor for blood test coz the doctor say need to check what exactly is wrong with my knee..... pain pain..... Derrick was late for work coz waited for the doctor.... haiz.... so sad, the doctor said that the layer of oil in my blood quite high..... haiyoh.... sianz.... so this morning, I made a resolution with immediate effect, to spend the next 2 - 3 days to wash my body out of toxins.... No solid food (unless I'm gonna faint) only plain water and chinese tea, coz no sugar....
:<>
Its raining, wait... that's an understatement... Its pouring!!! damn.... the clothes won't beable to dry so soon already..... damn the rain..... ah! Derrick's gonna be home soon for lunch and yes... I don't have lunch..... hmmm.... chinese tea and water is gonna be my best friend...... haiz.....
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Rain rain go away....
Its Saturday, but its raining and Derrick had to go back to school to do some stupid set-up.... He's been so busy lately that he's neglecting me BIG time......
Anyway, on Thurs the pain in my leg almost killed me so when Derrick came home for lunch, he insisted on me seeing the doctor now, so I went.... Problem was, my leg was so painful, I couldn't walk down properly, so he volunteered to carry me, which only resulted in me suffering more pains coz I couldn't bend my leg and he accidentally pressed the painful area..... Ahhh!!! okok, anyway, the doctor was much better than the idiotic lousy bastard at CGH, he said its a housemaid knee problem, gave me a jab and by yesterday, I was much much better.....
Argh.... its Saturday and its raining again!!!! Its the 3rd Sat in a row to rain already.... and yes, I counted, coz I'd usually bring my dogs to the pet farm to play around..... Even my dogs are upset that they can't go to the farm to have fun.....
Its 2pm already, but Derrick's not done with his work yet..... Was supposed to buy food, shampoo and vitamin for Faith today.... haiz..... Today is such a boring day..... Was supposed to have a meet up session with the Aldrich and all, but its been cancelled coz Sebastian and Denise can't make it..... ah...... damn bored..... TV's so boring too, showing Romance of the 3 Kingdoms on channel 8..... hate that stupid show..... its Saturday, yet there seems to be nothing to do.... can't mop the floor, if not, Derrick's mum is gonna say its sticky again..... haiyah.... damn sianz.... such a whiny day.... hmmmm.... Faith is so bored that she's sleeping... again!! and my poor fighting fish juz got transferred into a much smaller tank coz Derrick bought 2 new fishes and didn't wanna buy a new tank.... problem now is 2 new fishes now left only as 1 new fish, coz the other fish stupidly jumped out of the tank.... so he ended up being dead on the floor.... haiz..... lie down and watch channel U lahz..... si bei sianz.....
Anyway, on Thurs the pain in my leg almost killed me so when Derrick came home for lunch, he insisted on me seeing the doctor now, so I went.... Problem was, my leg was so painful, I couldn't walk down properly, so he volunteered to carry me, which only resulted in me suffering more pains coz I couldn't bend my leg and he accidentally pressed the painful area..... Ahhh!!! okok, anyway, the doctor was much better than the idiotic lousy bastard at CGH, he said its a housemaid knee problem, gave me a jab and by yesterday, I was much much better.....
Argh.... its Saturday and its raining again!!!! Its the 3rd Sat in a row to rain already.... and yes, I counted, coz I'd usually bring my dogs to the pet farm to play around..... Even my dogs are upset that they can't go to the farm to have fun.....
Its 2pm already, but Derrick's not done with his work yet..... Was supposed to buy food, shampoo and vitamin for Faith today.... haiz..... Today is such a boring day..... Was supposed to have a meet up session with the Aldrich and all, but its been cancelled coz Sebastian and Denise can't make it..... ah...... damn bored..... TV's so boring too, showing Romance of the 3 Kingdoms on channel 8..... hate that stupid show..... its Saturday, yet there seems to be nothing to do.... can't mop the floor, if not, Derrick's mum is gonna say its sticky again..... haiyah.... damn sianz.... such a whiny day.... hmmmm.... Faith is so bored that she's sleeping... again!! and my poor fighting fish juz got transferred into a much smaller tank coz Derrick bought 2 new fishes and didn't wanna buy a new tank.... problem now is 2 new fishes now left only as 1 new fish, coz the other fish stupidly jumped out of the tank.... so he ended up being dead on the floor.... haiz..... lie down and watch channel U lahz..... si bei sianz.....
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Gloomy Thursday.....
Its a gloomy Thursday.... yupz... I lost in shares.... well, not much, but I just don't like the feeling of losing.... not that it helps me to wake up painlessly today... yes yes..... more whining coz my right leg is still in tremendous pain... PAIN!!!!!! AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okok..... I know screaming doesn't help make the pain go away.... Derrick is still at work.... I'm missing him already..... He should be coming back soon from work for lunch..... he's made me realise the plus point of working near office.... and I mean NEAR.... like happy walking to work!! hahaha, anyway..... yah, still haven't found a job yet.... and Aldrich just called me last night, to arrange for an outing this coming Sat, I'm supposed to call Denise, just haven't got down to it yet.... Well... I would love to go, but I just have alot of difficulty moving, it hurts even when I'm not moving.... I promise that I would go unless its really really painful..... anyway, Derrick did say that he'll bring me to the doctor's if I still don't feel better... Its totally affecting my life.... I can't walk properly, can't do anything properly. And the pain's excruciating to the point that I can't sleep!!!! Urh!!
Yes I can't stop whining about my leg, but what else can I do??? Its so painful, taking painkillers that doesn't work doesn't make any sense to me, can't do housework coz I can't walk properly, the last thing I need is to slip and fall and worsen my already bad situation.....
Faith's so adorable.... she loves it whenever I let her in into Derrick's room, she'd jump at the chance to jump up the bed and rest against the pillow, and she'll sleep for hours.... enjoying the air-con and soft beddings.....
Derrick just called.... he's buying lunch back, but because I had to move to get the phone, my leg hurts so much its killing me.... I have to cry everyday to release some of the stress this pain is causing me..... Its terrible.... horrible experience..... Whatever!!! I wanna lie down..... *SulkZ*
okok..... I know screaming doesn't help make the pain go away.... Derrick is still at work.... I'm missing him already..... He should be coming back soon from work for lunch..... he's made me realise the plus point of working near office.... and I mean NEAR.... like happy walking to work!! hahaha, anyway..... yah, still haven't found a job yet.... and Aldrich just called me last night, to arrange for an outing this coming Sat, I'm supposed to call Denise, just haven't got down to it yet.... Well... I would love to go, but I just have alot of difficulty moving, it hurts even when I'm not moving.... I promise that I would go unless its really really painful..... anyway, Derrick did say that he'll bring me to the doctor's if I still don't feel better... Its totally affecting my life.... I can't walk properly, can't do anything properly. And the pain's excruciating to the point that I can't sleep!!!! Urh!!
Yes I can't stop whining about my leg, but what else can I do??? Its so painful, taking painkillers that doesn't work doesn't make any sense to me, can't do housework coz I can't walk properly, the last thing I need is to slip and fall and worsen my already bad situation.....
Faith's so adorable.... she loves it whenever I let her in into Derrick's room, she'd jump at the chance to jump up the bed and rest against the pillow, and she'll sleep for hours.... enjoying the air-con and soft beddings.....
Derrick just called.... he's buying lunch back, but because I had to move to get the phone, my leg hurts so much its killing me.... I have to cry everyday to release some of the stress this pain is causing me..... Its terrible.... horrible experience..... Whatever!!! I wanna lie down..... *SulkZ*
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Pain Pain and more PAIN!!!!
PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pain pain pain.....
yes yes I know I'm screaming, but its only because I'm in major pain hell-hole..... Nothing can describe it, I can't sit properly, I can't walk properly, I'm just so handicapped I have to use Derrick's mum's old crutches.... well, it does help me to walk less painfully, but I'm still trying to get used to walking with crutches.... The swelling is not going down, the painkiller and muscle relaxant are bull-shit.... doesn't exactly works or maybe it does, but the relief that it provides just ain't up to my expectation..... I dunno how long more I will have to live with this pain, but every morining my hopes have been dashed when I try to get out of bed normally.....
Been looking for a job, but well... might as well take this opportunity to rest since I can't walk properly, anyway, wouldn't want my new employer to think that I'm crippled or tend to need MC all the time....
TV's boring, watching the re-run of American Idol.... Faith looks bored, but I can't even walk properly myself, much less to bring her out for a walk.... Hmmm.... talking about Faith, she's just got her first heat and we brought her to the Pasir Ris Pet Farm to play last Saturday and well... she was the centre of attention by all the male dogs.... and its only to Derrick's pleasure, he's so obsessed with Faith getting pregnant!!!! He's looking forward to having puppies around the house.... For the past few days, Derrick has been rubbing Faith's little tummy and chanting you're pregnant my little Faith, pregnant!!! hahaha, and yes I agree, he's nuts..... its 5.30pm already, Derrick's knocking off soon, well he usually knocks off around 7pm, dun think I'll be joining him for dinner coz my knee hurts with every, any movement and yes sometimes even when I dun move at all.... but he's got tuition class tonight so he'll be home later.... damn..... more time to be bored.... well, at least there's little Faith to keep me company..... ;) haiz.... oh! COPS showing on channel 5 now, shall go lie down in bed and watch TV.... ouch.............
yes yes I know I'm screaming, but its only because I'm in major pain hell-hole..... Nothing can describe it, I can't sit properly, I can't walk properly, I'm just so handicapped I have to use Derrick's mum's old crutches.... well, it does help me to walk less painfully, but I'm still trying to get used to walking with crutches.... The swelling is not going down, the painkiller and muscle relaxant are bull-shit.... doesn't exactly works or maybe it does, but the relief that it provides just ain't up to my expectation..... I dunno how long more I will have to live with this pain, but every morining my hopes have been dashed when I try to get out of bed normally.....
Been looking for a job, but well... might as well take this opportunity to rest since I can't walk properly, anyway, wouldn't want my new employer to think that I'm crippled or tend to need MC all the time....
TV's boring, watching the re-run of American Idol.... Faith looks bored, but I can't even walk properly myself, much less to bring her out for a walk.... Hmmm.... talking about Faith, she's just got her first heat and we brought her to the Pasir Ris Pet Farm to play last Saturday and well... she was the centre of attention by all the male dogs.... and its only to Derrick's pleasure, he's so obsessed with Faith getting pregnant!!!! He's looking forward to having puppies around the house.... For the past few days, Derrick has been rubbing Faith's little tummy and chanting you're pregnant my little Faith, pregnant!!! hahaha, and yes I agree, he's nuts..... its 5.30pm already, Derrick's knocking off soon, well he usually knocks off around 7pm, dun think I'll be joining him for dinner coz my knee hurts with every, any movement and yes sometimes even when I dun move at all.... but he's got tuition class tonight so he'll be home later.... damn..... more time to be bored.... well, at least there's little Faith to keep me company..... ;) haiz.... oh! COPS showing on channel 5 now, shall go lie down in bed and watch TV.... ouch.............
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Come-back
Hey, its been a long time since I last blogged..... and so much has happened....
Well, nothing much between Derrick and I, we've been together for quite sometime now and I've never felt more loved before ;) okok, no mushy stuffies....
My god-pa passed away on 31st March, guess you could say that was what that caused me to stop blogging.... I've never had someone who was so close to me pass away.... I was so sad, he died of heart problem, something like half the heart stopped functioning, so not enough blood could get to the brains and the rest of the body, causing him to die.... It was a sad enough occasion.... I guess during that period of time, I couldn't blog, I could only cry, I got dellusional, I would stand by the coffin and talk to him and ask him to get up and stop joking with me, stop acting dead, I would be at the wake at 9am and leave the wake after MN, I just wanted to spend as much time as I have left with his physical body, I could sense he was around and watching, or should I say that even until now, I can still feel his presence around me.... I miss him alot, reunion dinners will never be the same again....
Well, work started to get crappy, alot of newbies, and as usual, lots of annoying people who take pleasure to annoy the shit out of others.... anyway, I'm already out of the shit hole, so I dun have to give a shit about stupid customers who have screwed up attitudes who call in to ask stupid questions.....
Well.... as for friends wise.... sad as it is, Grace came back sometime back, we spent some time together to catch up, she's a changed person, well, it didn't get to me until mid June, coz Derrick had some business project that will need a website designer, so naturally, the first person that would come to mind is my best friend Grace, so I smsed her to ask her whether she would be free and how much would her fees be..... but sad to say, her reply was offensive... it read
" i can't i'm very busy now, have three jobs in the pipeline and honestly i'm damn expensive. sorry."
I mean I would understand that you're busy and I dun blame you, but did you have to make it sound so malicious??? I can't help but agree that she's changed, not for the better but for the worse!! To me, now she's nothing but a shallow girl, the way she behaves and talks.... Her fake aussie accent irks me, the fact that she can only take cabs and eat at restaurants shows how much she's changed.... she's no longer the Grace I used to know, the one that used to run around without a care for the world and sometimes turn to me and say, girl, I'm broke, can u pay for my cup noodles first??? those were the tuition days, the secondary school days. all those are gone, whats left are wonderful memories and I refuse to her current behaviour ruin those beautiful memories....
Well.... the worst just came upon me on Sunday, I woke up in pain, my knee, I couldn't bend it, there was a hard bump slightly above my right knee... you may ask what happened?? I can only honestly answer, I don't know.... I can't stand for long, its hurts, I can't walk properly.... Derrick thinks its a muscle pull, and will take awhile for it to recover, I don't know whether he's right, I went to A&E on Sunday, they took an X-ray of my right knee, nothing wrong with it, now there's just alot of pain, especially in the mornings.... I feel so handicapped.... I wish the pain would go away.... its now 1pm already, waiting for Derrick to come home with lunch....
ok, he's back!!! yay!!!
Well, nothing much between Derrick and I, we've been together for quite sometime now and I've never felt more loved before ;) okok, no mushy stuffies....
My god-pa passed away on 31st March, guess you could say that was what that caused me to stop blogging.... I've never had someone who was so close to me pass away.... I was so sad, he died of heart problem, something like half the heart stopped functioning, so not enough blood could get to the brains and the rest of the body, causing him to die.... It was a sad enough occasion.... I guess during that period of time, I couldn't blog, I could only cry, I got dellusional, I would stand by the coffin and talk to him and ask him to get up and stop joking with me, stop acting dead, I would be at the wake at 9am and leave the wake after MN, I just wanted to spend as much time as I have left with his physical body, I could sense he was around and watching, or should I say that even until now, I can still feel his presence around me.... I miss him alot, reunion dinners will never be the same again....
Well, work started to get crappy, alot of newbies, and as usual, lots of annoying people who take pleasure to annoy the shit out of others.... anyway, I'm already out of the shit hole, so I dun have to give a shit about stupid customers who have screwed up attitudes who call in to ask stupid questions.....
Well.... as for friends wise.... sad as it is, Grace came back sometime back, we spent some time together to catch up, she's a changed person, well, it didn't get to me until mid June, coz Derrick had some business project that will need a website designer, so naturally, the first person that would come to mind is my best friend Grace, so I smsed her to ask her whether she would be free and how much would her fees be..... but sad to say, her reply was offensive... it read
" i can't i'm very busy now, have three jobs in the pipeline and honestly i'm damn expensive. sorry."
I mean I would understand that you're busy and I dun blame you, but did you have to make it sound so malicious??? I can't help but agree that she's changed, not for the better but for the worse!! To me, now she's nothing but a shallow girl, the way she behaves and talks.... Her fake aussie accent irks me, the fact that she can only take cabs and eat at restaurants shows how much she's changed.... she's no longer the Grace I used to know, the one that used to run around without a care for the world and sometimes turn to me and say, girl, I'm broke, can u pay for my cup noodles first??? those were the tuition days, the secondary school days. all those are gone, whats left are wonderful memories and I refuse to her current behaviour ruin those beautiful memories....
Well.... the worst just came upon me on Sunday, I woke up in pain, my knee, I couldn't bend it, there was a hard bump slightly above my right knee... you may ask what happened?? I can only honestly answer, I don't know.... I can't stand for long, its hurts, I can't walk properly.... Derrick thinks its a muscle pull, and will take awhile for it to recover, I don't know whether he's right, I went to A&E on Sunday, they took an X-ray of my right knee, nothing wrong with it, now there's just alot of pain, especially in the mornings.... I feel so handicapped.... I wish the pain would go away.... its now 1pm already, waiting for Derrick to come home with lunch....
ok, he's back!!! yay!!!
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Sucky....
Work is beginning to take its toll on me.... its tiring, and well yah Denise got fired, sacked, terminated however, wateva u call it..... she got into this sucky team with a sucky leader and I guess its just part of the package, when u're a erm.... how do i phrase it.... i won't say back stabber, won't say 2 headed snake, but I think its a hybrid of both.... yah.... well... somehow, I guess its only me, but its disgusting and this thought has been disturbing me for quite sometime.... remember sometime back when Denise betrayed my trust by telling Derrick the 'truth' ?? yah its running along the same lines just that now, when someone else tells her not to tell me, she really doesn't tell me!!! and that friend is a new friend and I've known her for years if not almost for life! and when I question her on why she tells Derrick wat I told her, guess wat was her justification? Well, Derrick is my friend, he's helped me before (ok, like I haven't helped her before) and I feel that he needs to know, its the truth and he ought to know about it. so I had to tell him... well... turn the tables around and I thought I would expect her to tell me the truth? but no, I'm kept in the dark til someone else tells me. So much for practise wat you preach huh.... so much for being righteous.... so much for being.... well.... Denise... anyway... ultimately, Derrick and I are just friends, he's not ready, well.... I'm emotionally unstable and no... its no one else's fault but mine own.... *smiles* ok wateva. *flicks hair off the shoulder* can't be bothered no more... my normal friends can care for me more than Derrick and Denise added together... sometimes I really think Denise and Derrick should get together so that they can finally realise how annoying insensitivity can get... oh yah... they're insensitive... don't think it should affect them.... Well... now at work.... sick and pmsing doesn't help, having morons as customers definitely doesn't lighten the workload either.... at least after work I'm joining my team for dinner at M hotel... since no one else wants to go, I shall enjoy myself with my team!! I hate mood spoilers and oh yah, talking abt mood spoilers.... Denise and Derrick are the professionals at that difficult task.... seems like someone else I know is joining their team..... ok... back to my calls....
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Thoughts
Its late or rather early in the morning, and no for the first time in a long long time, I'm not typing while I'm at work... I'm typing at Derrick's place... Many things has happened recently.... thoughts scare me quite abit, but I pretend that nothing's happening and go on with life and work.... Din go to work today, took MC..... This week ain't a good week..... haiz.... dunnno how to say also.... maybe Kathy's right..... I'm beginning to hit my call stats easily, its a breeze now.... but unknowingly, the job itself has been stressful enough to affect my health! I went to the doctor's just now and the doc said that my headache could be due to stress and I've been having nightmares of my job..... she gave me vallium to help me relax and sleep better... Derrick asked me to go bathe first, hmmmm,..... shall cont typing this later after I'm done with my bath.....
Back from my bath..... hmmm feels pretty good after a nice bath...its 1.50am in the morning already and I'm not asleep yet.... I'm so dead, got to start work at 8am tmrw.... my sweetie is still studying, talk about nerd, he has to be the number 1 nerd in the world, but I still love him.... ;)
Talking about work.... stress.... number 1 stress, hit call stats.... and someone actually logged in my phone id on my off day!!!! oh my god..... scary.... number 2 stress.... customers.... all sorts of them..... I've got customers wanting my personal number, got customer being rude and unreasonable and those that have shown me the nastiest side of the human facade..... oh my and you wonder whether such people are descendants of God or they're just flesh planted by Satan himself..... I'd say the second choice.... well, I won't forget those really sweet and nice ones when they genuinely have an enquiry or a request and they talk like nice proper human beings.... well, number 3 stress??? politics..... I couldn't care less previously, but soon there's gonna be a major movement in shift rosters.... and I might not be with the same team, this totally upsets me.... that's the reason why I'm more concerned about the polictics around the work floor.... and oh not to forget the IDIOTS that breathe the same air and work and walk on the same floor as me, but show no responsibility and pride in their job!!! His name is Marc, an old guy, I dun think he is working as a customer service staff, he's working as a 'taiji' master, why do I say that? coz he's always pushing all and I mean ALL the jobs to everybody else!! I guess that's his method of hitting his call stats.... another one is known as Wit, WIT my ass.... aka Ernie..... so rude, next time, dun have to email them nicely, just tell them to do their job and shut their bloody knowledgeless and rude mouths..... As time goes by, I've learnt that some people deserves help, and the rest simply doesn't! So, when I see that a case belongs to a lousy loser that doesn't deserves help, I'll just say, I'm not able to advice at my end, would get caseowner to call you back! and then just send an email to caseowner to call back, don't and I do mean, DON'T waste any time to assist those idiots who don't deserve it, can use the time to get better call stats...
Ahhh.. *YawnZ*... getting sleepy liaoz.... haven't take my medicine..... to help my relax and not get nightmares of all my work-related stress..... My sweetie is still studying behind me.... hmmm.... ;) honestly, he looks really cute when he's jealous and of all people, Sebastian... haha, can never ever be..... anyway, I wanna go M'sia again, last Mon, went in with Sebas, Kon and Aaron, haha, only bought 2 pairs of shoes.... hmmm.... so sianz.... couldn't really eat, coz have to abstain from meat.... abstain til 26th March..... today only 3rd March.... 23 days to go..... haiz..... ok lahz.... better go help my sweetie wash his cups and then hit the pillows first...... ;) yay, got hugz!!!
Back from my bath..... hmmm feels pretty good after a nice bath...its 1.50am in the morning already and I'm not asleep yet.... I'm so dead, got to start work at 8am tmrw.... my sweetie is still studying, talk about nerd, he has to be the number 1 nerd in the world, but I still love him.... ;)
Talking about work.... stress.... number 1 stress, hit call stats.... and someone actually logged in my phone id on my off day!!!! oh my god..... scary.... number 2 stress.... customers.... all sorts of them..... I've got customers wanting my personal number, got customer being rude and unreasonable and those that have shown me the nastiest side of the human facade..... oh my and you wonder whether such people are descendants of God or they're just flesh planted by Satan himself..... I'd say the second choice.... well, I won't forget those really sweet and nice ones when they genuinely have an enquiry or a request and they talk like nice proper human beings.... well, number 3 stress??? politics..... I couldn't care less previously, but soon there's gonna be a major movement in shift rosters.... and I might not be with the same team, this totally upsets me.... that's the reason why I'm more concerned about the polictics around the work floor.... and oh not to forget the IDIOTS that breathe the same air and work and walk on the same floor as me, but show no responsibility and pride in their job!!! His name is Marc, an old guy, I dun think he is working as a customer service staff, he's working as a 'taiji' master, why do I say that? coz he's always pushing all and I mean ALL the jobs to everybody else!! I guess that's his method of hitting his call stats.... another one is known as Wit, WIT my ass.... aka Ernie..... so rude, next time, dun have to email them nicely, just tell them to do their job and shut their bloody knowledgeless and rude mouths..... As time goes by, I've learnt that some people deserves help, and the rest simply doesn't! So, when I see that a case belongs to a lousy loser that doesn't deserves help, I'll just say, I'm not able to advice at my end, would get caseowner to call you back! and then just send an email to caseowner to call back, don't and I do mean, DON'T waste any time to assist those idiots who don't deserve it, can use the time to get better call stats...
Ahhh.. *YawnZ*... getting sleepy liaoz.... haven't take my medicine..... to help my relax and not get nightmares of all my work-related stress..... My sweetie is still studying behind me.... hmmm.... ;) honestly, he looks really cute when he's jealous and of all people, Sebastian... haha, can never ever be..... anyway, I wanna go M'sia again, last Mon, went in with Sebas, Kon and Aaron, haha, only bought 2 pairs of shoes.... hmmm.... so sianz.... couldn't really eat, coz have to abstain from meat.... abstain til 26th March..... today only 3rd March.... 23 days to go..... haiz..... ok lahz.... better go help my sweetie wash his cups and then hit the pillows first...... ;) yay, got hugz!!!
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Its over!
Oh yes, its 0041hrs on the 15/2.... Valentine's Day is finally over... its been a sucky day, coz some insensitive idiot juz had to worsen the last of my valentine's day.... then another sensitive guy just sent me a very nice sms thanking me for being a great fren on valentine's day.... if only the sender of the sms would be swapped..... but no.... it can't.... but ah... I just want time to fly and get my ass out of this place and get home and get sleep.... I'm just too drained to want to think, I'm so tired, I dun even want to walk to the pantry to refill my tea....
God, the time is crawling by me.... I hate it when I'm so tired and time is crawling and work has been shit today.... full of shit... just like the keychain Nana and I saw at PS... It just showed a picture of a toilet bowl and said, " Men are like toilet bowls, the good ones are already taken and the rest are full of shit!" haha... ah... I'm just being irritable today lahz and the things that some people say just didn't help.... and now that its only almost 1am which means I'm gonna be stuck here for another hour.... haiz.... wat the heck....
My eyelids are getting heavy and the heavier they get the grouchier I become.... The more I think of what happened, the more questions I have in my head and the more discomfort I feel.... *Sighs* the pink rose is nice, hmmm... obviously Sebastian doesn't know my fav flower, but haha, the best part was he bought it in front of me, and we chose a bouquet for someone else *eh-em* well, at least the both of us didn't spend a lousy Valentine's day, although we both wished that we were with someone else instead....
oh no, its only 0107hrs.... so boring.... I'm dying of drowsiness already.... hmmm.... brain dead already, or should I say, my brain is already in lala land, I think I'm gonna fall dead asleep in the cab on my way home again.... shit lahz.... its only 0112hrs... oh my god, 45 mins more to go.....goodness gracious me.... hmmm... maybe I should be good and start kicking the habit of cracking my knuckles.... hmmm.... haha.... ;)
God, the time is crawling by me.... I hate it when I'm so tired and time is crawling and work has been shit today.... full of shit... just like the keychain Nana and I saw at PS... It just showed a picture of a toilet bowl and said, " Men are like toilet bowls, the good ones are already taken and the rest are full of shit!" haha... ah... I'm just being irritable today lahz and the things that some people say just didn't help.... and now that its only almost 1am which means I'm gonna be stuck here for another hour.... haiz.... wat the heck....
My eyelids are getting heavy and the heavier they get the grouchier I become.... The more I think of what happened, the more questions I have in my head and the more discomfort I feel.... *Sighs* the pink rose is nice, hmmm... obviously Sebastian doesn't know my fav flower, but haha, the best part was he bought it in front of me, and we chose a bouquet for someone else *eh-em* well, at least the both of us didn't spend a lousy Valentine's day, although we both wished that we were with someone else instead....
oh no, its only 0107hrs.... so boring.... I'm dying of drowsiness already.... hmmm.... brain dead already, or should I say, my brain is already in lala land, I think I'm gonna fall dead asleep in the cab on my way home again.... shit lahz.... its only 0112hrs... oh my god, 45 mins more to go.....goodness gracious me.... hmmm... maybe I should be good and start kicking the habit of cracking my knuckles.... hmmm.... haha.... ;)
Monday, February 14, 2005
14/2/2005
Its valentine's day today.... and you'll never believe how I spent it.... As much as I wished I spent it with Derrick, I didn't get a chance to, I actually spent it with Sebastian.... God.... We had breakfast at Serangoon McDonald's then I went home to bathe and change then we went down to Tampines and had lunch there and then we watched a matinee movie I Do I Do, then I came to work and Sebastian accompanied me to work... then he stayed til after dinner, then he left.... and now, I'm still at work typing my bloody blog......
Hmmm.... valentine's day.... bought flowers for the girls in my team and frens, but the only flower I received was from Sebastian.... Work sux, I think I'm just irritable, my headset spoilt so I have to use Sebastian's headset.... lucky its his off day today.... yah its his off day and he came to work with me.... well.... I won't elaborate further if not he'll say I'm divulging too much info...
I dunno why, but I'm suddenly feeling very grouchy.... feeling very pissed and fed up..... I told Kathy wat happened and she has given me good advice, well.... its about an incident that only Kathy and I will know.... hmmm.... my mood is affecting my working efficiency..... basically, that means that I'm not as efficient as I usually am and this sux... maybe its because I din sleep, I mean I did get some rest lahz, not really sleep lahz.... aiyah...... I'm just feeling very mang zang now.... argh..... so frustrating.... everything seems to be getting on my nerves.... I wanted to get the flea and tick shampoo for Faith just now, but after breakfast the shops weren't open yet, and after that it slipped my mind, anyway, its not like as though he's gonna meet me, so wat's the rush to get the shampoo??? I just getting abit annoyed coz I really don't remember a time when Derrick would ever make an effort to come down to meet me instead of me going over.... I mean yah we're not together, but still even when we were together last time, I can count with 1 hand the number of times he actually came down..... sad rite? but still I didn't complain..... ah, nvm.... wat can I expect when he could address my birthday card to me as Dear Michelle, this card sums up all that I wanna say. wow..... and he said he didn't wanna say anything more coz he doesn't wanna say things that he doesn't mean.... Why am I talking about my bday now? coz I just saw it again the other day!! argh!! its only 10.25pm now.... I still have to stay here til 2am.... shit man.... and its damn busy, but I'm stuck doing a transfer rite now..... ARGH!!! okok.... I shall stop sounding like a brat.... time to get back to work......
Hmmm.... valentine's day.... bought flowers for the girls in my team and frens, but the only flower I received was from Sebastian.... Work sux, I think I'm just irritable, my headset spoilt so I have to use Sebastian's headset.... lucky its his off day today.... yah its his off day and he came to work with me.... well.... I won't elaborate further if not he'll say I'm divulging too much info...
I dunno why, but I'm suddenly feeling very grouchy.... feeling very pissed and fed up..... I told Kathy wat happened and she has given me good advice, well.... its about an incident that only Kathy and I will know.... hmmm.... my mood is affecting my working efficiency..... basically, that means that I'm not as efficient as I usually am and this sux... maybe its because I din sleep, I mean I did get some rest lahz, not really sleep lahz.... aiyah...... I'm just feeling very mang zang now.... argh..... so frustrating.... everything seems to be getting on my nerves.... I wanted to get the flea and tick shampoo for Faith just now, but after breakfast the shops weren't open yet, and after that it slipped my mind, anyway, its not like as though he's gonna meet me, so wat's the rush to get the shampoo??? I just getting abit annoyed coz I really don't remember a time when Derrick would ever make an effort to come down to meet me instead of me going over.... I mean yah we're not together, but still even when we were together last time, I can count with 1 hand the number of times he actually came down..... sad rite? but still I didn't complain..... ah, nvm.... wat can I expect when he could address my birthday card to me as Dear Michelle, this card sums up all that I wanna say. wow..... and he said he didn't wanna say anything more coz he doesn't wanna say things that he doesn't mean.... Why am I talking about my bday now? coz I just saw it again the other day!! argh!! its only 10.25pm now.... I still have to stay here til 2am.... shit man.... and its damn busy, but I'm stuck doing a transfer rite now..... ARGH!!! okok.... I shall stop sounding like a brat.... time to get back to work......
Thursday, February 10, 2005
*YawnZ*
dying of boredom soon.... I'm so bored, my team mates are also bored... thank god I'm knocking off in 30mins time....
I'm so dead.... so dead.... I miss him.... terribly.... no reply from him, he's making me feel like a little girl again.... I just wanna snuggle up with him, with his arms wrapped around me, I feel so safe and secure.... slept well last night, very well, din wanna wake up, din wanna come to work.... just wanted to lie there and not move..... Time is passing slowly, I'm so bored, I'm reading Cleo mag and working at the same time, I'm probably gonna bring women's weekly to work tomorrow.... hmmm... my next off day would be Thurs.... so far away, today is Thurdays.... 7 more days to go.... argh.... if only I din have to do OT on my rest day, then Sat would be my other off day.... haiz.... later have to take cab home again.... at least today's taxi can claim, so not so bad.... wonder if there's gonna be any taxi not... oh yah, I made booking, so surely will have cab, its a mercedes cab if I din remember wrongly.... haha... that's the benefit when company will pay for taxi claim.... hmmm... sweet thoughts keep running through my head, can't stop thinking of him, in a good way lahz.... ;)
I'm so dead.... so dead.... I miss him.... terribly.... no reply from him, he's making me feel like a little girl again.... I just wanna snuggle up with him, with his arms wrapped around me, I feel so safe and secure.... slept well last night, very well, din wanna wake up, din wanna come to work.... just wanted to lie there and not move..... Time is passing slowly, I'm so bored, I'm reading Cleo mag and working at the same time, I'm probably gonna bring women's weekly to work tomorrow.... hmmm... my next off day would be Thurs.... so far away, today is Thurdays.... 7 more days to go.... argh.... if only I din have to do OT on my rest day, then Sat would be my other off day.... haiz.... later have to take cab home again.... at least today's taxi can claim, so not so bad.... wonder if there's gonna be any taxi not... oh yah, I made booking, so surely will have cab, its a mercedes cab if I din remember wrongly.... haha... that's the benefit when company will pay for taxi claim.... hmmm... sweet thoughts keep running through my head, can't stop thinking of him, in a good way lahz.... ;)
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
9/2/2005
Its the first day of the Lunar New Year!!! and yes, I'm at work again.... haha, but its good, I'm paid to sit here and type blog coz I'm so free... haha, anyway, yesterday was great, had a very nice reunion dinner, then went to River HongBao at Marina.... Went with Derrick, Sebastian, Aldrich and Kathy.... ;) As usual, Aldrich and Kathy were late, (wat's new?) haha, ok lahz, it was kinda screwed up coz we were supposed to watch a movie but ended up not.... but its ok lahz, Derrick and I ended up taking NR 7 back.... erm.... it was a good night overall lahz.... I really enjoyed it, mmmm.... okok, no details....
I'm wearing my maroon tube today, it seems to be catching alot of attention.... its kinda translucent lahz, its lacy.... but I like it.... ;)
you know, even though, I left his house this afternoon at 1.20pm, its 6.15pm now, but I'm already missing him.... and I can't not think abt him.... mmmm, I'm beginning to fall deeply in love with him again.....
I'm wearing my maroon tube today, it seems to be catching alot of attention.... its kinda translucent lahz, its lacy.... but I like it.... ;)
you know, even though, I left his house this afternoon at 1.20pm, its 6.15pm now, but I'm already missing him.... and I can't not think abt him.... mmmm, I'm beginning to fall deeply in love with him again.....
Sunday, February 06, 2005
6/2/2005
Hey hey, Chinese New Year is coming!!! Its already Sunday!!, but yes I'm at work... gonna be here til 6pm... Sebastian gonna work til 5pm, coz he OT on his rest day.... hmmmm.... later going to Best Denki with him to check out LCD TV prices... haiz, wanna put a TV in my room too, but my mummy dun allow.... haha, too used to Derrick's room already.... haiz.... he msged me yesterday.... doesn't seem like he's making much effort to prove himself to me.... well... I guess if he doesn't then no more bao bao, well, we'll be just friends! I mean I've already said that those promises I made are valid, or rather will be valid if, and I say IF he proves himself to me.... but not much improvements so far as yet.... hahaha, as I always say, I can make the request for you, but its subjected to approval, right now, your request is still pending approval, it might take 3 working days or more depending on a case to case basis. Well.... haiz... *SighZ*
Work is alright today, so far so good... I'm kinda sleepy though, haven't been sleeping well and much for the past few days.... been taking cab to work alot, yesterday take cab to work, today also take cab to work... die tomorrow also working 8.30am shift.... sianz.....
Hmmm.... my skin condition is getting better, even my colleagues are saying that I'm looking more radiant! haha, not that my condition was bad, its just that it wasn't....erm.... glowing... haha.... looks like spending $184 on dermalogica was worth it.... just that now I have to be consistant and hard-working since I tend to get lazy after awhile.... sianz.... okok.... enough blogging for the time being, back to work first, getting busy already.....
Work is alright today, so far so good... I'm kinda sleepy though, haven't been sleeping well and much for the past few days.... been taking cab to work alot, yesterday take cab to work, today also take cab to work... die tomorrow also working 8.30am shift.... sianz.....
Hmmm.... my skin condition is getting better, even my colleagues are saying that I'm looking more radiant! haha, not that my condition was bad, its just that it wasn't....erm.... glowing... haha.... looks like spending $184 on dermalogica was worth it.... just that now I have to be consistant and hard-working since I tend to get lazy after awhile.... sianz.... okok.... enough blogging for the time being, back to work first, getting busy already.....
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Ermm....
Erm..... I'm at work.... getting more awake already.... but as I'm getting more awake, my mind is thinking of him more... I'm beginning to really miss him.... oh no.... Denise should be back from Thailand already, coming to work at 3.30pm later.... I need a break.... I dunno why, but when I woke up, I keep thinking of him.... thoughts of him keeps flooding through my head.... what's wrong with me????
Hmmm.... just came back from the toilet, its almost 12pm already, going for lunch soon, Alice and I are gonna faint from hunger soon man.... Met Kathy while going to the toilet, can't wait to go River AngBao together, hopefully and I believe their should be fireworks!! so exciting!! I love fireworks, they light up the entire night sky... beautiful formations.... hmmm, but its only temporary... looks like its true that beautiful things don't last.... time to check if its lunch!!
Hmmm.... just came back from the toilet, its almost 12pm already, going for lunch soon, Alice and I are gonna faint from hunger soon man.... Met Kathy while going to the toilet, can't wait to go River AngBao together, hopefully and I believe their should be fireworks!! so exciting!! I love fireworks, they light up the entire night sky... beautiful formations.... hmmm, but its only temporary... looks like its true that beautiful things don't last.... time to check if its lunch!!
5/2/2005
So tired.... dunno why last nite couldn't sleep.... din sleep til 1+ in the morning.... bought a new blusher and eye-shadow colour yesterday ;) this morn I decided to try out the colours... hmmm nice, matches my new hair colour... I look even less chinese now.... well, that's what my colleague said... yesterday I had to drive the stupid van back to Changi for my uncle.... clutch in and out til my leg damn tired..... hmmm... I bought a new Braun hairdryer too, its good! and its only $64!!! so cheap!! haha, Best Denki at Tampines having promotion.... well, its 1800watts, much more powerful than the one that I'm used to use at home.... Coudln't take it anymore, made a cup of green tea, yup, with my mug..... nice nice, hot hot and no sugar... ;) okok, Alice is looking at me, giving me the 'look-out for extras!' look... gotta get back to work liaoz... sianz.... have to stay here til 6pm.... *Sighs*
Friday, February 04, 2005
4/2/2005
I kinda like my new image, I think I look and feel better.... but there are drawbacks too... its not comfortable to take bus or train anymore... I get guys(most often who don't look in the mirror) trying to get to know me, haiz.... very busy, started typing this like at 10am, and now its 12pm already.... hmmmm....
hungry.... waiting for lunch break to come, gonna knock off at 6pm today, hehe, going shopping with my mother after work.... haiz.... hungry liaoz, but still got 30 mins before I can go for lunch... gonna faint from hunger already... sianz....
hungry.... waiting for lunch break to come, gonna knock off at 6pm today, hehe, going shopping with my mother after work.... haiz.... hungry liaoz, but still got 30 mins before I can go for lunch... gonna faint from hunger already... sianz....
Thursday, February 03, 2005
3/2/2005
Haha, back in Singapore, from 1 day of shopping in Malaysia... I spent $600 ringgit... yes in a day... bought 5 pairs of shoes and did many other stuffs... haha.... and yah, went to meet Derrick after that... I don't know... still alittle confused.... I dunno wat to think or expect... I'm getting soft-hearted again, shouldn't have kissed... bad thing to do... shouldn't have fallen asleep either.... now at work, and my mood is exceptionally good... I dunno wat to do now.... Mind is a complete blank.... end of break... time to get back to work.... dun wanna get into anymore trouble....
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
1/2/2005
Haiz, its the 1st day of the month and here I am.... at work again... just came back from 1 hr break.... so sianz.... I totally forgot that today I'm supposed to work OT... sianz.... stuck here til 9.30pm.... haiz....
yay, tmrw going to Malaysia and I just found out that passport cannot extend, can only make new and it will take 7 working days!!! ah.... nvm lahz, tmrw just go try my luck, if really cannot go in, then go beach and have fun lorz.... haiz.... I hope can go... hands very itchy... really need to go shopping...
haiz... cannot type too long, got to work, today got into abit of trouble coz I was looking at my hp while I was at work.... haiz.... that's it lahz.... waiting for contract to be up then see if I want to continue here lahz.... back to work.... ah.... very full.... wanna ZZzzz.....
yay, tmrw going to Malaysia and I just found out that passport cannot extend, can only make new and it will take 7 working days!!! ah.... nvm lahz, tmrw just go try my luck, if really cannot go in, then go beach and have fun lorz.... haiz.... I hope can go... hands very itchy... really need to go shopping...
haiz... cannot type too long, got to work, today got into abit of trouble coz I was looking at my hp while I was at work.... haiz.... that's it lahz.... waiting for contract to be up then see if I want to continue here lahz.... back to work.... ah.... very full.... wanna ZZzzz.....
Monday, January 31, 2005
Thoughts.. .. .. ..
Thoughts are flooding through my mind again while I'm at work... I think it was because of the hug last night... It was a long hug, a loving and affectionate one... I feel like I don't understand him anymore, I dunno wat's going through his mind, I thought we're supposed to be friends like before we were together, and I'm able to do that, on a normal basis, I should be very happy or should I say ecstatic that I had such a nice long hug from him, but now I'm just confused and I'm thinking of him.... I'm thinking and wondering what is wrong with him.... Then again, I really shouldn't think so much, thinking too much isn't good.... just went downstairs with Sebastian, saw Nicholas Tay and Victor from the part time team, haha, talking about pay and rotiboy breads... yay, its almost 7pm, I'm gonna knock off in 1.5hrs time... haiz... today I kenna all the shit cases manz.... so shit... so much paper work to do, so much follow up to do... haiz.... I sound so grumpy... Running short of clothes to wear, had to wear my favorite black tube dress to work today, haha, everybody was like, eh Michelle, why wear so nice today, going out on hot date ah? yah I wish... haha no lahz, nothing to wear liaoz... so bo pian.... sianz.... I think the whole company thinks that Sebas and I are together.... its doesn't bother him ,but it bothers me quite abit, esp the way some pple look at me.... haiz... dun care lahz.... hmmmm.... had milo and tea today, so I used his mug.... no its my mug, but he bought it for me... hmmm... quite nice to use lahz, but then again, a mug is still a mug.... nothing special abt it....
haiz.... I'm getting sick of my job.... then again, I think its just today lahz.... argh... now time is crawling... only 7.15pm now.... still got 1hr and 15 mins to go.... hmmmm.... I need to go shopping... nono I need sleep.... I found another ABBA song... it touches me coz I can sort of relate to the song.... Knowing Me, Knowing You....
No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house,
tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends,
this is goodbye
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this timeI have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do
Mem'ries (mem'ries),
good days (good days), bad days (bad days)
They'll be (they'll be),
with me (with me) always (always)
In these old familiar rooms
children would play
Now there's only emptiness,
nothing to say
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this timeI have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do
(repeat)
Its a nice song... in fact, I think I'm a huge ABBA fan.... hmmm.... yay... 1hr to go... la la la la la.... ;)
haiz.... I'm getting sick of my job.... then again, I think its just today lahz.... argh... now time is crawling... only 7.15pm now.... still got 1hr and 15 mins to go.... hmmmm.... I need to go shopping... nono I need sleep.... I found another ABBA song... it touches me coz I can sort of relate to the song.... Knowing Me, Knowing You....
No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house,
tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends,
this is goodbye
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this timeI have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do
Mem'ries (mem'ries),
good days (good days), bad days (bad days)
They'll be (they'll be),
with me (with me) always (always)
In these old familiar rooms
children would play
Now there's only emptiness,
nothing to say
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time we're through
(This time we're through, this time we're through
This time we're through, we're really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this timeI have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
It's the best I can do
(repeat)
Its a nice song... in fact, I think I'm a huge ABBA fan.... hmmm.... yay... 1hr to go... la la la la la.... ;)
31/1/2005
Hmmm, its the last day of the month already, so fast... well... its 12.45pm now, gonna have my break at 2.25pm.... haiz.... work work work... last nite after I reached home, was talking to Sebastian again.... talk til 4am... haha, this morning couldn't wake up manz... had to reach work before 11am... lucky, managed to log in before 11am.... tonight I'll have to sleep early then tomorrow leave the house earlier to extend my passport or else I'll really have to cry at the check point... hmmm....
last nite, managed to see Faith, she's bigger now, skinnier, longer...haha, so cute, still as cute as ever... ;)
oh no... very busy.... suddenly so fast, 2.10pm already.... yay, 15 mins more can go beak... damn hungry lorz.... sianz.... abit tired...
the stars were nice last nite, reminded me of the time when Derrick and I were looking at stars at Bedo Reservoir, while Bucky and Nicholas were listening to some CD in the van.... We sat down next to the playground and watched the stars... I totally forgot about that incident.... maybe its a memory block, I have the tendancy to block out memories when things happen... well.... at least now that when I remember, I'm not affected by it, so all you guys, dun worry, I'm going back to my depressed state again, I've worked so hard to get myself out of the shit hole, not going back there again.... too painful.... ok lahz... go for my 15 mins break first.... hmmm....
last nite, managed to see Faith, she's bigger now, skinnier, longer...haha, so cute, still as cute as ever... ;)
oh no... very busy.... suddenly so fast, 2.10pm already.... yay, 15 mins more can go beak... damn hungry lorz.... sianz.... abit tired...
the stars were nice last nite, reminded me of the time when Derrick and I were looking at stars at Bedo Reservoir, while Bucky and Nicholas were listening to some CD in the van.... We sat down next to the playground and watched the stars... I totally forgot about that incident.... maybe its a memory block, I have the tendancy to block out memories when things happen... well.... at least now that when I remember, I'm not affected by it, so all you guys, dun worry, I'm going back to my depressed state again, I've worked so hard to get myself out of the shit hole, not going back there again.... too painful.... ok lahz... go for my 15 mins break first.... hmmm....
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Sianz.. .. .. .. ..
so sianz.... just came back from 1 hr break.... its 6.30pm now... 2.5hrs to go before I can knock off... ah... hate the 11.30am shift, has weird break hours. I mean 1 hr break at 1630hrs, its neither lunch nor dinner!!! so annoying.... I'm dying of boredom here... so tired.... tomorrow have to start work at 11am.... sianz.... and haven't extend my passport yet... Sebastian was saying wait I kenna stuck at the checkpoint... I told him I'll stand there and cry lorz... haha... better wake up earlier, then go Lavender to extend.... haiz....
ah... time is passing so slowly.... I just found another 2 more ABBA songs that I like!!! haha, its S.O.S and One Of Us.... here's the lyrics for S.O.S, ;)
Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love?
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good
So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
You seem so far away though you are standing near
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear
I really tried to make it out
I wish I understood
What happened to our love, it used to be so good
So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
And the love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
Very nice... simply love it.... I keep watching the DVD that I bought the other day.... haha, hmmm... maybe I will consider buying the Carpenters one.... I think they were the one who sang "you know I can't smile without you, can't laugh without you...." hmmm.... aiyah, I think I'm just bored.... hmmm... later go find Sebastian to take 5... hahahaha.... zo kang zo kang....
ah... time is passing so slowly.... I just found another 2 more ABBA songs that I like!!! haha, its S.O.S and One Of Us.... here's the lyrics for S.O.S, ;)
Where are those happy days, they seem so hard to find
I tried to reach for you, but you have closed your mind
Whatever happened to our love?
I wish I understood
It used to be so nice, it used to be so good
So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
You seem so far away though you are standing near
You made me feel alive, but something died I fear
I really tried to make it out
I wish I understood
What happened to our love, it used to be so good
So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
The love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
So when you're near me,
darling can't you hear me
S. O. S.
And the love you gave me,
nothing else can save me
S. O. S.
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
When you're gone
How can I even try to go on?
When you're gone
Though I try how can I carry on?
Very nice... simply love it.... I keep watching the DVD that I bought the other day.... haha, hmmm... maybe I will consider buying the Carpenters one.... I think they were the one who sang "you know I can't smile without you, can't laugh without you...." hmmm.... aiyah, I think I'm just bored.... hmmm... later go find Sebastian to take 5... hahahaha.... zo kang zo kang....
30/1/2005
Hmmm... yesterday off....there was a pleasant surprise, was shopping with my mother at WhiteSands, when Derrick called me.... It was nice talking to him again, well, as a friend.... Talked for a long time, I think we talked longer than we did before on the phone... haha... yesterday was full of surprises, Yanzi, my niece came over my place and I was playing with her, so cute... 2 mth old only... pretty girl, but she pee pee on my bed, but nvm lahz, doesn't smell... haha.. last night Davina called me, I was surprised, she said that Brother Yangyi wants to talk to me, so I said ok, just give me a call, no problem, hmmm, wonder wats up, but nvm, I'll just wait for his call... Davina asked me if I wanted to join her in church today, I told her I'm sorry, but I'm working from 1130 to 2100, so I can't go... she's going back to Australia soon... hmmm... its her last week at work this week... gonna miss seeing her around... haiz.... damn tired now.... din get enough sleep. slept at 5am coz was talking to Sebastian.... talked about alot of stuff, the D's and insensitive pple, his ex-gf... I guess our roles have changed, it used to be him consoling me about Derrick, but now, its me consoling him about his ex and his new found fond... haha, alot of pple thought it was me, but allow me to clarify, its NOT me!!! no chemistry... haha... I'm just afraid that if this goes on, he might become abit gay... oh no.... hahaha, haiz.... I'm so stone now... my eyes are closing and my whole body is aching... thanks to lack of sleep.... after work, I'm going over to Derrick's place to take a look at Faith, hmmm, haven't seen her for a long time... Hmmm... I think I'll need another cup of tea... I already finished one... I got so pissed with the teaspoons in the pantry, I brought 2 of my own, tall one for my tall mug, short one for the mug that Derrick gave me... yah, the one that he gave me, I brought it and left it in my locker... only used it once... oh shit... I just remembered that I'm going Malaysia soon and I haven't extended my passport!! oh no... die... better go tomorrow or Tues... and his train ticket is in my passport... dunno if he wants it.... maybe I'll ask him later...
hmmmm... just came back from my 15 mins break not too long ago... damn sianz... now only 3.30pm... still have to be here til 9pm.... damn tired.... if only I can take time off... but no point lahz, take time off, another day also have to pay back... next week doing OT, coming back to work on my rest day as well... I totally forgot that I'm going to Malaysia on Weds and I'm supposed to do OT on Thurs from 9am.... die lahz... how to wake up like that.... but nvm lahz, after spending so much money, I better start earning, lucky I don't use credit cards.... if not I'll probably be in deep shit man....
bored..... *yawnz*.... tired.... I need sleep.... ok I'm gonna stop whining... better start working.... waiting for my break!!! break is coming!! its 3.40pm now, break is at 4.30!!! yay..... hmmm... funny, not hungry lehz.... nvm... get back to work....
hmmmm... just came back from my 15 mins break not too long ago... damn sianz... now only 3.30pm... still have to be here til 9pm.... damn tired.... if only I can take time off... but no point lahz, take time off, another day also have to pay back... next week doing OT, coming back to work on my rest day as well... I totally forgot that I'm going to Malaysia on Weds and I'm supposed to do OT on Thurs from 9am.... die lahz... how to wake up like that.... but nvm lahz, after spending so much money, I better start earning, lucky I don't use credit cards.... if not I'll probably be in deep shit man....
bored..... *yawnz*.... tired.... I need sleep.... ok I'm gonna stop whining... better start working.... waiting for my break!!! break is coming!! its 3.40pm now, break is at 4.30!!! yay..... hmmm... funny, not hungry lehz.... nvm... get back to work....
Friday, January 28, 2005
Something for you....
Hey Grace, here's something I wanna dedicate to you, its by Mariah Carey too from the album Music Box.... thanks for all the times you've been here for me, to stand by me, support me and love me, I thank God for giving you to me as my best friend. ;) Friends forever....
If you're lonely
And need a friend
And troubles seem like
They never end
Just remember to keep the faith
And love will be there to light the way
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
When the shadows are closing in
And your spirit diminishing
Just remember you're not alone
And love will be there
To guide you home
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
If you just believe in me
I will love you endlessly
Take my hand
Take me into your heart
I'll be there forever baby
I won't let go
I'll never let go
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
It's alright
It's alright
Just a note, I'll always be here for you too, when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, you can alwayz count on me... That I promise you, I'm really sorry I forgot your birthday coz I was so upset with Derrick, I'm really sorry, dinner at Mezza9 with you was excellent... I'm still waiting for transformers to be out, so don't worry I haven't forgotten your gift, and I love the Michelle's parking!! so sweet of you... ;)
If you're lonely
And need a friend
And troubles seem like
They never end
Just remember to keep the faith
And love will be there to light the way
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
When the shadows are closing in
And your spirit diminishing
Just remember you're not alone
And love will be there
To guide you home
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
Love will make it alright
If you just believe in me
I will love you endlessly
Take my hand
Take me into your heart
I'll be there forever baby
I won't let go
I'll never let go
Anytime you need a friend
I will be here
You'll never be alone again
So don't you fear
Even if you're miles away
I'm by your side
So don't you ever be lonely
It's alright
It's alright
Just a note, I'll always be here for you too, when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, you can alwayz count on me... That I promise you, I'm really sorry I forgot your birthday coz I was so upset with Derrick, I'm really sorry, dinner at Mezza9 with you was excellent... I'm still waiting for transformers to be out, so don't worry I haven't forgotten your gift, and I love the Michelle's parking!! so sweet of you... ;)
Argh....
Dunno why... supposed to get back to work.... but no mood to work... damn sianz.... got alot of nonsense to handle today... shit man.... Sebastian is going to buy iPod... he's buying it not for himself, he buys it because 'someone' likes it.... of course I've given him my word that I wouldn't say who the 'someone' is lahz.... haiz.... things people do for love, but then again, I was there before, I'll be there again soon, I know, but not for the same unworthy person i.e: Derrick. I don't yearn for him anymore, I don't smile when I think of him, I don't even want to think of him, I laugh when I think of the time when his mum called me to check if I was alright and I told her I'll be ok, and she told me this: " I know my son is a bloody proud boy, his bloody attitude is bad." Well, she'd have made a great mother-in-law, she's been great to me, I really wanna thank her for all her kind words and for all the times she prepared meals for me.... I do miss the fish that she steams... very nice... *yum*yum* but hmmm... nvm....
Hmm... my colleague is having issues too.... hmmm... its sad lahz, I wouldn't wanna be in his shoes... not that I wasn't there before, but I just dun wanna be there again.... I told him, if u love her, fly there and tell her, but well, final decision is up to him, although he said there's not only 1 girl in this world wat, but well, if you really think that way, then why are u affected by this???
Well, love can hurt.... alot.... but it's wat you do in and abt the relationship that makes it wat it is.... now that I've gotten over Derrick, I suddenly remembered this song, its very very apt and I like it, its by Mariah Carey and its the 1st CD I bought, Music Box.... Everything Fades Away.....
Baby,
don't tell me you miss me,
you love me
Don't whisper gently that you can't forget me
Tonight
tonight
cause I've heard it all before
Just turn away
don't play that game
Baby I don't want to anymore
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
Don't tell me
you're sorry you hurt me
How many times can I give in
How many battles can you win
Oh don't beg for mercy
Tonight
tonight
cause I can't take any more
Just turn around
don't break me down
Baby I don't love you like before
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
Intermediate
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
It only fades, it only fades
Baby don't tell me you miss me you love me... (Repeat and fade)
Hmm... my colleague is having issues too.... hmmm... its sad lahz, I wouldn't wanna be in his shoes... not that I wasn't there before, but I just dun wanna be there again.... I told him, if u love her, fly there and tell her, but well, final decision is up to him, although he said there's not only 1 girl in this world wat, but well, if you really think that way, then why are u affected by this???
Well, love can hurt.... alot.... but it's wat you do in and abt the relationship that makes it wat it is.... now that I've gotten over Derrick, I suddenly remembered this song, its very very apt and I like it, its by Mariah Carey and its the 1st CD I bought, Music Box.... Everything Fades Away.....
Baby,
don't tell me you miss me,
you love me
Don't whisper gently that you can't forget me
Tonight
tonight
cause I've heard it all before
Just turn away
don't play that game
Baby I don't want to anymore
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
Don't tell me
you're sorry you hurt me
How many times can I give in
How many battles can you win
Oh don't beg for mercy
Tonight
tonight
cause I can't take any more
Just turn around
don't break me down
Baby I don't love you like before
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
Intermediate
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
Let it all fade away
Don't you know that love is gone
It's too late
Everything fades away
Nothing ever stays the same
Baby
It only fades, it only fades
Baby don't tell me you miss me you love me... (Repeat and fade)
28/1/2005
Haiz.... damn sianz.... have to work OT today... then gonna knock off at 12MN... but nvm... tomorrow off!!! yay.... going shopping with my mum at Tampines.... ;) haha, have been shopping alot lately... but its good... good retail therapy.... hmmm.... today's quite a boring day.... work is the same, haha, Nicholas Tay double banking again, then we were crapping coz he was next to me.... had toast for dinner just now.... didn't know wat to eat so just decided to eat bread.... hmmm... now waiting for my 15 mins break to come.... bored..... alot of cases to handle.... tired.... hmmm... later have to take cab home again.... not like yesterday, haha Nicholas picked me up, quite challenging to sit on a bike with a short skirt... I kinda like the blue one I wore yesterday, its like tennis skirt ;) actually I like all my new skirts ;) they are all short.... not like the long ones I used to wear... long and draggy.... now I can't wait to go Malaysia next week, can buy shoes!!! but my passport is going to expire.... valid for less than 6 mths!! die... have to go extend... sianz.... lazy... then dun extend, cannot go Malaysia, want to extend, so lazy... so troublesome.....
Hmmm... just came back from my 15 mins break... so tired... can't stop yawning... still got 2 hrs to go before knock off..... sianz.... no one to accompany me, alone doing OT.... sux man.... haha, but its ok lahz, on a/c that tomorrow is my rest day and next week going to Malaysia... ;) *daze* ok lahz, time to get back to work.... *yawnz*.... grrrr.....
Hmmm... just came back from my 15 mins break... so tired... can't stop yawning... still got 2 hrs to go before knock off..... sianz.... no one to accompany me, alone doing OT.... sux man.... haha, but its ok lahz, on a/c that tomorrow is my rest day and next week going to Malaysia... ;) *daze* ok lahz, time to get back to work.... *yawnz*.... grrrr.....
Thursday, January 27, 2005
27/1/2005
Today has been great, work has been good and yay!! We're going to Malaysia next week!!! Can go shopping again!!! hehe!! Can't wait to go!! but the funny part now is I can't find my passport.... dunno where did I put it the last time I went Redang with Michelle Ling and all.... Hmmm.....
Yay, I just realised I lost weight again!!! I bought 2 skirts last week, and when I bought them, it was fitting, but when I wore it today, it was loose!! haha.... hmmmm.... its a good sign.... hmmm... its 9pm already... going for my break soon... yay.... I'm in a very good mood today, dunno why also... ;) just very happy... haha maybe coz there's a cute guy sitting behind me today... haha! kidding lahz... but Nicholas Tay is really quite cute mahz.... okok nvm.... just look forward for my shopping spree trip next week!! hehehe!!!
Yay, I just realised I lost weight again!!! I bought 2 skirts last week, and when I bought them, it was fitting, but when I wore it today, it was loose!! haha.... hmmmm.... its a good sign.... hmmm... its 9pm already... going for my break soon... yay.... I'm in a very good mood today, dunno why also... ;) just very happy... haha maybe coz there's a cute guy sitting behind me today... haha! kidding lahz... but Nicholas Tay is really quite cute mahz.... okok nvm.... just look forward for my shopping spree trip next week!! hehehe!!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Bored......
I'm bored.... still stuck at work.... its 30 mins to knock off time.... Grace called me just now to ask how I am, I told her not to worry coz I've recovered and fine, only thing that I haven't recovered from is my cold.... still coughing, but getting better.... It feels good to be normal again, somehow, the air seems fresher, everyone looks at me differently now... feeling confident and after shedding all that weight helps, not to mention my sudden increase in number of clothes too... ;)
hmmm.... everything is different now, even talking to Denise feels different now, oh yes maybe I should use what Derrick said to me, "I'm not angry or upset, I'm just disgusted...." yup, thinking back, I'm just disgusted at how Derrick can treat me like this and how Denise can just wash her hands off her hurt and upset friend. I'll always remember this "Michelle, I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I'm not sorry that I met up with Derrick" Yup, I'll always remember that and you know what? I'm just sorry that things can never be the same again coz I know the kind of friend you are. I'm not mean yet, If I was mean or if I were to be mean, I would say, you're not just a not good friend, you're not a good girlfriend and you know it, its fine by me if you want to screw up your own relationship but why screw mine up as well! Well, I can't blame her for telling the 'truth', I can only say that Derrick wasn't willing to put in the effort that he said he would.... If the night I was with Nicholas, would I be silly enough to tell of all people Denise when I can tell Angel or Grace and know that I would never risk having it told to Derrick? Hmmm.... logical people they both are, but they both don't think logically.... then again Derrick did say, "Perception is sometimes more true than the truth" Oh, so why bother having to know the truth, that's the reason why I didn't explain this entire truth to him, he'll probably say I'm justifying myself again. so *fling hands in the air* Whatever! I'm not the one who lost, he lost someone who would be silly enought to mellow down and love him wholeheartedly, whereas I lost someone who didn't respect me. I'm not angry with him, I can't be bothered anymore or should I say, "I used to not having you around me anymore" Those were his exact words to me.... Well, I'm not only used to not having him around me, I've realised how much happier I am without him and the amount of things I can do without him! Well, things are looking brighter now, I'm looking forward to CNY, I don't wanna let them get me down and ruin my CNY, I wanna be glowing with radience and not looking like a hag on CNY.... Cheers to all, Michelle is back! ;)
hmmm.... everything is different now, even talking to Denise feels different now, oh yes maybe I should use what Derrick said to me, "I'm not angry or upset, I'm just disgusted...." yup, thinking back, I'm just disgusted at how Derrick can treat me like this and how Denise can just wash her hands off her hurt and upset friend. I'll always remember this "Michelle, I'm sorry that I hurt you, but I'm not sorry that I met up with Derrick" Yup, I'll always remember that and you know what? I'm just sorry that things can never be the same again coz I know the kind of friend you are. I'm not mean yet, If I was mean or if I were to be mean, I would say, you're not just a not good friend, you're not a good girlfriend and you know it, its fine by me if you want to screw up your own relationship but why screw mine up as well! Well, I can't blame her for telling the 'truth', I can only say that Derrick wasn't willing to put in the effort that he said he would.... If the night I was with Nicholas, would I be silly enough to tell of all people Denise when I can tell Angel or Grace and know that I would never risk having it told to Derrick? Hmmm.... logical people they both are, but they both don't think logically.... then again Derrick did say, "Perception is sometimes more true than the truth" Oh, so why bother having to know the truth, that's the reason why I didn't explain this entire truth to him, he'll probably say I'm justifying myself again. so *fling hands in the air* Whatever! I'm not the one who lost, he lost someone who would be silly enought to mellow down and love him wholeheartedly, whereas I lost someone who didn't respect me. I'm not angry with him, I can't be bothered anymore or should I say, "I used to not having you around me anymore" Those were his exact words to me.... Well, I'm not only used to not having him around me, I've realised how much happier I am without him and the amount of things I can do without him! Well, things are looking brighter now, I'm looking forward to CNY, I don't wanna let them get me down and ruin my CNY, I wanna be glowing with radience and not looking like a hag on CNY.... Cheers to all, Michelle is back! ;)
Truth... .. .. .. ..
This is the whole truth.... I've had an off day and I've woken up.... I'm no longer depressed, I've snapped out of all my nonsense.... Sleep has been excellent, appetite has been great, and now, the entire truth.... I need to get it off my chest, as sad as this situation is, and maybe you will understand my predicament and why I feel into depression and suicidal thoughts ran through my mind....
I didn't meet Derrick for that one night and I was at home, I saw his calls, but I didn't pick up... Why?? I wanted to test his trust in me.... I was home the entire night, I didn't reach home til after 3am coz I was at work.... but I told Denise the next day that I was with Nicholas the night before... yes... I did something stupid, I wanted to test the loyalty of my good friend to me and I wanted to test my boyfriend's trust in me.... I actually lied to Denise but told Derrick the truth.... hmmm... well.... the result has shown obviously that my good friend showed no loyalty to me and Derrick had zilch trust in me... sad story huh? I further went on to do stupid things like 'confessed' to Derrick that I WAS with Nicholas that night... Why???? Remember a few entries ago? I said I was looking for a love that would mean forgiving and loving even more??? Derrick failed the second test..... Coz he obviously didn't love me that way.... He failed me the third time, when I was so sad and I tried so hard to salvage whatever that was left of our relationship and he said all those hurtful things to me....
Hmmm.... it might sound silly, but these 3 weeks has been the louisest 3 weeks of my life, I have Denise and Derrick to thank for, but the both of them made me realise who my friends are and how much they love and care for me. They made me realise that my team is an excellent team, my TL is great, she's so supportive of me and comforts me and my team has been guiding me and helping me and accompanying me and most importantly Sebastian, thanks for all the late nights and company.... Grace, you have never been forgotten, you're one of the most important person in my life, without you, I dunno wat or where I would be now, I may be still or even more depressed and might not even step out of it, I'm glad and grateful to have you around all these while.... I haven't cried since 24/1/2005 when I was talking to my TL, I told her everything that happened.... I didn't cry anymore, I don't need Derrick....
I met up with Nicholas, he took me for a ride on his new bike, it was nice, he brought me to Changi Village, a place that I haven't been to for a long time.... It was nice, the wind in your face was great.... I felt so carefree and like I've dumped a whole lot of burden away, I'd be lying if I said I no longer love Derrick, but its minimal.... Its draining out fast, as fast as I was hurt and fell into depression.... I talked to Nicholas abt it, and he said this, it works like a spring, the faster and lower you go, the higher and faster you spring back.... its fair... and its true.... I took weeks, but overnight I just recovered...
Last night, I watched ABBA DVD... it was good... hmmm... back to work.....
I didn't meet Derrick for that one night and I was at home, I saw his calls, but I didn't pick up... Why?? I wanted to test his trust in me.... I was home the entire night, I didn't reach home til after 3am coz I was at work.... but I told Denise the next day that I was with Nicholas the night before... yes... I did something stupid, I wanted to test the loyalty of my good friend to me and I wanted to test my boyfriend's trust in me.... I actually lied to Denise but told Derrick the truth.... hmmm... well.... the result has shown obviously that my good friend showed no loyalty to me and Derrick had zilch trust in me... sad story huh? I further went on to do stupid things like 'confessed' to Derrick that I WAS with Nicholas that night... Why???? Remember a few entries ago? I said I was looking for a love that would mean forgiving and loving even more??? Derrick failed the second test..... Coz he obviously didn't love me that way.... He failed me the third time, when I was so sad and I tried so hard to salvage whatever that was left of our relationship and he said all those hurtful things to me....
Hmmm.... it might sound silly, but these 3 weeks has been the louisest 3 weeks of my life, I have Denise and Derrick to thank for, but the both of them made me realise who my friends are and how much they love and care for me. They made me realise that my team is an excellent team, my TL is great, she's so supportive of me and comforts me and my team has been guiding me and helping me and accompanying me and most importantly Sebastian, thanks for all the late nights and company.... Grace, you have never been forgotten, you're one of the most important person in my life, without you, I dunno wat or where I would be now, I may be still or even more depressed and might not even step out of it, I'm glad and grateful to have you around all these while.... I haven't cried since 24/1/2005 when I was talking to my TL, I told her everything that happened.... I didn't cry anymore, I don't need Derrick....
I met up with Nicholas, he took me for a ride on his new bike, it was nice, he brought me to Changi Village, a place that I haven't been to for a long time.... It was nice, the wind in your face was great.... I felt so carefree and like I've dumped a whole lot of burden away, I'd be lying if I said I no longer love Derrick, but its minimal.... Its draining out fast, as fast as I was hurt and fell into depression.... I talked to Nicholas abt it, and he said this, it works like a spring, the faster and lower you go, the higher and faster you spring back.... its fair... and its true.... I took weeks, but overnight I just recovered...
Last night, I watched ABBA DVD... it was good... hmmm... back to work.....
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