.... ....

Just attended a wedding last nite, it was Siew Pen's cousins wedding.... Nice, interesting....

I was just counting exactly how many weddings have I attended since 2004, 4 I think... Constance, Johnny, Yvonne and now Kaiyun, next month, its Jian An's turn.... Every wedding I go for, I tend to shed quiet tears, maybe its the atmosphere, maybe its just watever that is running through my head.... Thoughts that would forever be locked in, forever in my mind....

Songs playing through my head, songs that I love, hate and can relate to... They bring me down and lift me up, all differently....

I sometimes wonder, am I the only one who feels this way?? I know that I"m different from wat I used to be. I feel different, I feel more mellowed, more quiet, more to myself.... Prob that's why I blog, coz I don't want to talk to people, maybe even a voice recorder or a wall would do fine....

Have I genuinely stepped out from depression or have I just been suppressing it, preventing it from blowing up again....

I want to leave this place, I want to dump everything here and leave and never ever come back.... I might even consider losing my memory.... As much as I want to only keep the sweet ones, but I guess that is almost definitely out of the question....

Haiz... I guess I'll feel after lamenting so much today, I dunno why, but maybe its weather.... Or does the weather really understand me??? Does it really have to rain whenever I'm down??? Nevermind....