Men. They lie. They hurt.They abuse. They take things for granted. And at the end of the day, I bear the brunt of it all.
My opinions, thoughts and feelings always falls on deaf ears. My suggestions either get compromised or thrown out the window without second consideration. In the end, they always say to me,"I should have listened to you." But honestly, what is the point of saying all that??? The damage has already been done and what's done cannot be undone! These people don't know what they're doing, and they refuse to admit it openly! Why?!?!?! And irony of it all??? They tell you the same thing," I Love You."
Bullshit.
Eversince Derrick, I've sealed myself shut and I never cried again, at least not for another undeserving guy. Not until recently, when these people entered my life and reminded me how horrible it was to be made upset and taught me how to cry again....
Its a fine line between love and hate and now, I'm trying very hard to keep my balance on that very fine line.... They bring my emotions on a roller coaster ride, so bad that I feel like I'm going to collapse. Actually, sometimes I wish I could just collapse and drop dead. I didn't sleep at all last night, got home at 7am and thought I could catch a nap til 9am, but no, I was wrong....
That call, that one god damn call, made me sleepless, it made me realise that everything, EVERYTHING was all for NOTHING. Either nothing should have been done right from the beginning or should hold out right to the end if something had already begun... But it seems that some people like to have things done halfway... What can I say?? My stand had never mattered right from the beginning, if it had, then things wouldn't be where they are now... Its 6+ already, no picture, no sound....
I hate this feeling... you once made me the happiest person on earth, but u have also brought me to the lowest possible. This is worse than heart wrenching. You were someone I trusted, someone I finally could open my heart to, but u were just like the rest... I carry the pink bath silvers everywhere I go, but I don't see why I should do so anymore... All those words on the cards, bullshit. I waited in the shop today, hoping to get a surprise, but I never got it...
You only started smsing me awhile ago.... Your excuse was money.... Since you think of me as someone who only stick with guys who are rich, then maybe, you are very right. We shouldn't be together because you just hurled insult at me...
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Thursday, October 11, 2007
The story of him and her....
When HIM and HER come together in a love affair, their union is nothing if not intense, whether that's in a positive or a negative way. They are opposites in the Zodiac, giving them a special, complex connection. They can combine to make a whole, each partner's strengths balancing the other's weaknesses. Their sexual attraction is likely to be off the charts! HIM and HER have tons in common, but because their personalities are so powerful, they often swing between passionate love and passionate disagreement!
HIM and HER both have deep desires, HIM for possessions and HER for power. They're both concerned with wealth and resources, and they're both intensely passionate about all sorts of things. HIM is a bit more self-focused than HER, who is more concerned with their lover and immediate family. Both of them have a great, deep-rooted need for security in a relationship, but with slightly different focuses. While HIM prizes honesty and forthrightness and abhors infidelity, HER loves to be mysterious. HER need for security is more about the need to be constantly reassured that their emotional connection with their loved one is strong. The good thing is, HIM needs this reassurance too -- and is also willing to provide it for his lover.
HIM is ruled by Love and Money and HER is ruled by Passion Power. This combination is very intense, thanks to Power's influence, but it's an excellent balance of masculine and feminine energy. HER and HIM together form the basis of all love relationships -- love and passion. Love and Passion go well together; Love is about the beauty of romance, and Passion is about the passion of romance. HER is smoldering and intense (and intensely sexual), and HIM, a sensual and tireless lover, is attracted to this intensity. In turn, HER enjoys the devotion inherent in Love-ruled HIM.
HIM is Earth and HER is Water. HER tends to be very deep -- like an ocean, too much upset will cause a tidal wave! When HER feels crossed by a lover, watch out for that tail, which can whip out and sting their lover without warning! It's a good thing that these two are so strongly loyal to each other.
But while HIM is open, with everything laid bare on the surface, HER is more secretive and inscrutable. They can both teach one another about their opposite views of life (direct versus complex). Another factor adding a tantalizing dimension to this union is their mutual tendency toward jealousy. HIM loves it when HER displays their jealous -- it means HIM is adored and appreciated!
HIM and HER are both Fixed Signs. This means they're both pretty stubborn and resolute once their minds are made up. Let's hope their minds agree -- if not, they're prone to fights the likes of which neither experiences with any others. HIM seems to prevail as the dominant partner, but that's not always the case. HER can "win" through more devious means, such as employing emotional manipulation to get what HER want. These partners must learn to discuss their views and needs openly and to reach a compromise if they want their union to be lasting and happy.
This largely depends on HER's ability to learn to trust HIM. The relationship will only fail if the two partners truly cannot overcome their opinionated, fixed stances.
What's the best aspect of the HIM-HER relationship? Their powerful connection that can shine when obstacles to intimacy are cleared away.
When HER realizes that HIM is there for the long term and won't create the misery that some HER attract to their lives, this relationship can blossom.
HIM and HER both have deep desires, HIM for possessions and HER for power. They're both concerned with wealth and resources, and they're both intensely passionate about all sorts of things. HIM is a bit more self-focused than HER, who is more concerned with their lover and immediate family. Both of them have a great, deep-rooted need for security in a relationship, but with slightly different focuses. While HIM prizes honesty and forthrightness and abhors infidelity, HER loves to be mysterious. HER need for security is more about the need to be constantly reassured that their emotional connection with their loved one is strong. The good thing is, HIM needs this reassurance too -- and is also willing to provide it for his lover.
HIM is ruled by Love and Money and HER is ruled by Passion Power. This combination is very intense, thanks to Power's influence, but it's an excellent balance of masculine and feminine energy. HER and HIM together form the basis of all love relationships -- love and passion. Love and Passion go well together; Love is about the beauty of romance, and Passion is about the passion of romance. HER is smoldering and intense (and intensely sexual), and HIM, a sensual and tireless lover, is attracted to this intensity. In turn, HER enjoys the devotion inherent in Love-ruled HIM.
HIM is Earth and HER is Water. HER tends to be very deep -- like an ocean, too much upset will cause a tidal wave! When HER feels crossed by a lover, watch out for that tail, which can whip out and sting their lover without warning! It's a good thing that these two are so strongly loyal to each other.
But while HIM is open, with everything laid bare on the surface, HER is more secretive and inscrutable. They can both teach one another about their opposite views of life (direct versus complex). Another factor adding a tantalizing dimension to this union is their mutual tendency toward jealousy. HIM loves it when HER displays their jealous -- it means HIM is adored and appreciated!
HIM and HER are both Fixed Signs. This means they're both pretty stubborn and resolute once their minds are made up. Let's hope their minds agree -- if not, they're prone to fights the likes of which neither experiences with any others. HIM seems to prevail as the dominant partner, but that's not always the case. HER can "win" through more devious means, such as employing emotional manipulation to get what HER want. These partners must learn to discuss their views and needs openly and to reach a compromise if they want their union to be lasting and happy.
This largely depends on HER's ability to learn to trust HIM. The relationship will only fail if the two partners truly cannot overcome their opinionated, fixed stances.
What's the best aspect of the HIM-HER relationship? Their powerful connection that can shine when obstacles to intimacy are cleared away.
When HER realizes that HIM is there for the long term and won't create the misery that some HER attract to their lives, this relationship can blossom.
Its been a long time...
I almost couldn't sign in today, I forgot my new username and password... haha, thank god I recalled at the last minute....
My eyes are in great pain, I cried so hard on Tues nite that I got bak chiam... Well, the fact that I went swimming last nite prob didn't help either.... Swimming felt good... I thought about alot of things while I was swimming....
I am lost... I thought I had everything worked out, but actually, I am still lost.... Maybe I shouldn't think so much...
U tell me that u love me, but ur actions n words are not coherent....
U say that all's not lost, but u refuse to tell me the truth....
U say that u can accept me, but yet, u complain....
U think that he is the best, but he has more flaws than me...
U want everything done ur way, u never took my opinions, ur new car is the best example... My opinions were always for ur own good, but u prob think that I'm juz trying to be annoying....
Maybe, we were never meant to be
Maybe, we try too hard
Maybe, if I hadn't left, things would be different
Maybe, I fell in love with the right guy at the wrong time
Maybe, if you hadn't done wat u had, I wouldn't have left
Maybe, if you had told me the truth abt that prostitute, I would be more positive
Whether its too late or not, its not up to u, alone, to decide....
My birthday is coming again... Will I be sobbing tears of joy? Or will I continue to sing that same song again and again?
This year, will be slightly different though, I'll be celebrating my birthday with Jovyna, Athena, Jie Ming, Jeremy, my classmates, a few close frens (Sebas, Denise, Grace) and Jo and Jeremy's frens... 3 birthday kids celebrating together...
Haiz.... Back to studying...
My eyes are in great pain, I cried so hard on Tues nite that I got bak chiam... Well, the fact that I went swimming last nite prob didn't help either.... Swimming felt good... I thought about alot of things while I was swimming....
I am lost... I thought I had everything worked out, but actually, I am still lost.... Maybe I shouldn't think so much...
U tell me that u love me, but ur actions n words are not coherent....
U say that all's not lost, but u refuse to tell me the truth....
U say that u can accept me, but yet, u complain....
U think that he is the best, but he has more flaws than me...
U want everything done ur way, u never took my opinions, ur new car is the best example... My opinions were always for ur own good, but u prob think that I'm juz trying to be annoying....
Maybe, we were never meant to be
Maybe, we try too hard
Maybe, if I hadn't left, things would be different
Maybe, I fell in love with the right guy at the wrong time
Maybe, if you hadn't done wat u had, I wouldn't have left
Maybe, if you had told me the truth abt that prostitute, I would be more positive
Whether its too late or not, its not up to u, alone, to decide....
My birthday is coming again... Will I be sobbing tears of joy? Or will I continue to sing that same song again and again?
This year, will be slightly different though, I'll be celebrating my birthday with Jovyna, Athena, Jie Ming, Jeremy, my classmates, a few close frens (Sebas, Denise, Grace) and Jo and Jeremy's frens... 3 birthday kids celebrating together...
Haiz.... Back to studying...
Monday, July 23, 2007
Sleepless Thoughts
I suddenly have songs flooding my head. I'm quite sure it wasn't coz of the ktv session juz now. I've been having dreams again.
It began eversince the 16th, actually, I think it was earlier.... Anyways, I thought my heart was dead, you know? As in xin si le kinda thing, but it doesn't seem the case.... Because of my dreams, I've been thinking about what went wrong and I've come to realise that the relationship was doomed right from the beginning. He was insecure, and I was insensitive. I wanted everything and he wasn't as ready as he thought. I wanted to marry him, he on the other hand wanted me to convert my religion. He prob thought that we wouldn't go very far, but through all those times, I was waiting for a ring.... He began neglecting me, and I started to not bother myself about him. 2 years later, things came to an end. I betrayed his trust and he doesn't want me in his life ever again. I regretted and tried to make amends, but nothing can be done because he can no longer trust me.
Tonight, I can't sleep, I lie awake on my bed, wondering if he has missed me even once in these past few months, the meals I used to cook and the times we snuggled up in bed to watch TV. To be completely honest, I did.... I am still attached to someone. And I have come to realise that sometimes, wat you need ain't wat you want. Everynite, the same scene replays in my dreams. Him in his black striped business shirt and business pants and myself in my black tube dress. We hugged, and I said," I don't wanna let go." And he replied," then don't." The smell of green tea and CK still lingers vividly in the dream....
He has probably moved on by now, I'm just slow and reminiscent I guess.... My current boyfriend cares alot for me, but maybe my heart is juz tired. I really don't know y my dreams are like that and I don't know how to stop it. I'm juz hoping that by letting it out, it would help things. And also hope that by keeping myself busy with work and school will help to take my mind off things. Deep inside, I'm praying that God would one day show me the many answers that I've been searching, or that he would give me some form of enlightenment.
I don't ever want to make the same mistake again. I made the mistake when I was with Nicholas, and I repeated my mistakes when I was with Derrick. And now, all I can say is, Sorry. They probably wouldn't know wat I'm going through, actually, maybe, nobody knows. Now, all I can say is that I hope that they can find their true happiness, since they couldn't and wouldn't want to with me. So cliche, but its true. I want that for them, simply because I don't want the 2 men that I love most to be unhappy, although I did cause them alot of pain.... On top of that, I say mean things, but who really knows that it hurts me juz as much to say those things? I would suppose that only those who knows me really well would. And they would know why I do that as well....
Oh well, enough said... I should get to bed early, opening shop tmrw....
It began eversince the 16th, actually, I think it was earlier.... Anyways, I thought my heart was dead, you know? As in xin si le kinda thing, but it doesn't seem the case.... Because of my dreams, I've been thinking about what went wrong and I've come to realise that the relationship was doomed right from the beginning. He was insecure, and I was insensitive. I wanted everything and he wasn't as ready as he thought. I wanted to marry him, he on the other hand wanted me to convert my religion. He prob thought that we wouldn't go very far, but through all those times, I was waiting for a ring.... He began neglecting me, and I started to not bother myself about him. 2 years later, things came to an end. I betrayed his trust and he doesn't want me in his life ever again. I regretted and tried to make amends, but nothing can be done because he can no longer trust me.
Tonight, I can't sleep, I lie awake on my bed, wondering if he has missed me even once in these past few months, the meals I used to cook and the times we snuggled up in bed to watch TV. To be completely honest, I did.... I am still attached to someone. And I have come to realise that sometimes, wat you need ain't wat you want. Everynite, the same scene replays in my dreams. Him in his black striped business shirt and business pants and myself in my black tube dress. We hugged, and I said," I don't wanna let go." And he replied," then don't." The smell of green tea and CK still lingers vividly in the dream....
He has probably moved on by now, I'm just slow and reminiscent I guess.... My current boyfriend cares alot for me, but maybe my heart is juz tired. I really don't know y my dreams are like that and I don't know how to stop it. I'm juz hoping that by letting it out, it would help things. And also hope that by keeping myself busy with work and school will help to take my mind off things. Deep inside, I'm praying that God would one day show me the many answers that I've been searching, or that he would give me some form of enlightenment.
I don't ever want to make the same mistake again. I made the mistake when I was with Nicholas, and I repeated my mistakes when I was with Derrick. And now, all I can say is, Sorry. They probably wouldn't know wat I'm going through, actually, maybe, nobody knows. Now, all I can say is that I hope that they can find their true happiness, since they couldn't and wouldn't want to with me. So cliche, but its true. I want that for them, simply because I don't want the 2 men that I love most to be unhappy, although I did cause them alot of pain.... On top of that, I say mean things, but who really knows that it hurts me juz as much to say those things? I would suppose that only those who knows me really well would. And they would know why I do that as well....
Oh well, enough said... I should get to bed early, opening shop tmrw....
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Feeling down again
I don't know, but maybe I'm still not over wat happened....
Wat have I done wrong? Why is it every week at this time, I would be sitting here, crying, all by myself with this song playing thru my head over and over again....
You tell me you're in love with me
like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
it's not that I don't wanna stay
but every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy
every time that I'm alone I wonder why
hope that you will wait for me
you'll see that you're the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
I'll just hang around and you'll see
there's nowhere I'd rather be
if you love me, trust in me
the way that I trust in you
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
But really, wat's the point?
Is it being reciprocated? Nope....
8 years ago, I fell in love with a heartless bastard, 8 years later, I'm still in love with the same heartless bastard.
The days crawl by, and I don't know wat I would do when that day comes. I dread every Sat.... I dread every new day.... For years I've been excited about that day.... But now.... Not anymore, coz I know, all those promises, all those things we planned to do, are nothing but bullshit....
Wat have I done wrong? Why is it every week at this time, I would be sitting here, crying, all by myself with this song playing thru my head over and over again....
You tell me you're in love with me
like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
it's not that I don't wanna stay
but every time you come too close I move away
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
I don't wanna be so shy
every time that I'm alone I wonder why
hope that you will wait for me
you'll see that you're the only one for me
I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
I'll just hang around and you'll see
there's nowhere I'd rather be
if you love me, trust in me
the way that I trust in you
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time
But really, wat's the point?
Is it being reciprocated? Nope....
8 years ago, I fell in love with a heartless bastard, 8 years later, I'm still in love with the same heartless bastard.
The days crawl by, and I don't know wat I would do when that day comes. I dread every Sat.... I dread every new day.... For years I've been excited about that day.... But now.... Not anymore, coz I know, all those promises, all those things we planned to do, are nothing but bullshit....
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Hurt....
Months ago, my ex bf came back into my life.... The reason? Ugly gf dumped him. So as usual, being me, I was there for him.
Recently, he kept telling me things like he misses me, he can't forget me. All talk no action is how I would describe him.
First incident, I called him and asked him if he would accompany me, he said no, very tired. Fine, go home then. Later when I called again, he said he rushed to Malaysia coz his fren's car was broken into. Great, tells me exactly how much you really miss me.
Second incident, I was feeling down and I just wanted someone to accompany me and I asked if he could. He was like, ok but only until blah blah timing. I said forget it...
Third incident, I called him coz Athena wanted to play mahjong. So I asked if he wanted to play, he said, no, he's on his way home and wants to sleep early, very tired. So I'm like ok lorz, go home and sleep lorz. Later in the night, I called him to ask him some questions again and guess what? He was at Boat Quay having dinner with Ervin and Michael. What's worse was he went like its inconvenient to talk to me now. WTF?! Ok lorz, I wanted to meet him that nite, I even went down to his place's carpark, but no.... So I decided, I'd rather spend the nite with Siew Pen than to waste time on people who would just talk shit to me.
Fourth incident, I needed help, all I needed was his presence to help me get out of a situation, could he help me? Nope... He wanted to sleep.... And he had the cheek to call me at 1+ am to say that he is at home. So wat? By now I don't really care anymore! How many times have you dropped me off? How many time have you let me down?
Today, you tell me that you threw away our photo album! Who are you to throw it away anyway?! I paid for it! And I told you before already that if you want to throw it away, give it back to me! And he had the audacity to tell me not to bother him! Hey! Who bothered who? You came crawling back looking for answers when your ugly gf dumped you and now you say that I'm bothering you? Fucking Bastard!! Nicholas Cheah Kuan Wei.... You fucking watch out....
Recently, he kept telling me things like he misses me, he can't forget me. All talk no action is how I would describe him.
First incident, I called him and asked him if he would accompany me, he said no, very tired. Fine, go home then. Later when I called again, he said he rushed to Malaysia coz his fren's car was broken into. Great, tells me exactly how much you really miss me.
Second incident, I was feeling down and I just wanted someone to accompany me and I asked if he could. He was like, ok but only until blah blah timing. I said forget it...
Third incident, I called him coz Athena wanted to play mahjong. So I asked if he wanted to play, he said, no, he's on his way home and wants to sleep early, very tired. So I'm like ok lorz, go home and sleep lorz. Later in the night, I called him to ask him some questions again and guess what? He was at Boat Quay having dinner with Ervin and Michael. What's worse was he went like its inconvenient to talk to me now. WTF?! Ok lorz, I wanted to meet him that nite, I even went down to his place's carpark, but no.... So I decided, I'd rather spend the nite with Siew Pen than to waste time on people who would just talk shit to me.
Fourth incident, I needed help, all I needed was his presence to help me get out of a situation, could he help me? Nope... He wanted to sleep.... And he had the cheek to call me at 1+ am to say that he is at home. So wat? By now I don't really care anymore! How many times have you dropped me off? How many time have you let me down?
Today, you tell me that you threw away our photo album! Who are you to throw it away anyway?! I paid for it! And I told you before already that if you want to throw it away, give it back to me! And he had the audacity to tell me not to bother him! Hey! Who bothered who? You came crawling back looking for answers when your ugly gf dumped you and now you say that I'm bothering you? Fucking Bastard!! Nicholas Cheah Kuan Wei.... You fucking watch out....
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Sick on a Friday...
I dunno wat could have caused it, the porridge? too much pepper? Or too much chinese tea??
Wateva the case.... I got food poisoning.... I never knew how that felt til yesterday...
Having to stand in at the shop til Lifan came back didn't help things either....
She only came back after 2pm, I was half dead by then. My temperature was rising and my consciousness failing. Never felt more sick than yesterday.....
Took my meds and I got knocked out big time.... I almost slept for another 12 hours....
I'm feeling much better today, though my stomach is still a little crazy, but I'm definitely better....
Yay! Later gonna sing KTV with Athena, Gavin and SP, hehe.
My stomach is growling.... I only ate abit for breakfast, had milo for lunch and fuel tank is now flashing empty.... I'm craving for apple... but nobody sells apples in this neighbourhood.... Having a shop in private residential areas suck, everything is so far away....
Damn.... its only 7.30pm.... an hour and a half to go....
Wateva the case.... I got food poisoning.... I never knew how that felt til yesterday...
Having to stand in at the shop til Lifan came back didn't help things either....
She only came back after 2pm, I was half dead by then. My temperature was rising and my consciousness failing. Never felt more sick than yesterday.....
Took my meds and I got knocked out big time.... I almost slept for another 12 hours....
I'm feeling much better today, though my stomach is still a little crazy, but I'm definitely better....
Yay! Later gonna sing KTV with Athena, Gavin and SP, hehe.
My stomach is growling.... I only ate abit for breakfast, had milo for lunch and fuel tank is now flashing empty.... I'm craving for apple... but nobody sells apples in this neighbourhood.... Having a shop in private residential areas suck, everything is so far away....
Damn.... its only 7.30pm.... an hour and a half to go....
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Mood Swings
Hmmm... Mood swings...
Once again, I sat in my reclusive corner of my shop and teared... I don't know for wat, maybe I'm just letting my emotions take over me....
Its definitely time, time to end it once and for all....
If this keeps coming, I'll prob go bonkers before I know it....
Maybe if we had juz decided to go as planned, to Zouk, I prob wouldn't be feeling like this....
It might be the lack of sleep, it might just be my hormones going crazy,it might just be my emotions coming up thanks to.
I haven't fed, I heard a missed call... I didn't react, I don't even want to touch my phone... Take it away from me....
I've been stoning, since morning.... Nothing's helping....
Maybe, all I want is someone to be here for me to hug and cry my heart out.... Maybe, that would help....
Once again, I sat in my reclusive corner of my shop and teared... I don't know for wat, maybe I'm just letting my emotions take over me....
Its definitely time, time to end it once and for all....
If this keeps coming, I'll prob go bonkers before I know it....
Maybe if we had juz decided to go as planned, to Zouk, I prob wouldn't be feeling like this....
It might be the lack of sleep, it might just be my hormones going crazy,it might just be my emotions coming up thanks to
I haven't fed, I heard a missed call... I didn't react, I don't even want to touch my phone... Take it away from me....
I've been stoning, since morning.... Nothing's helping....
Maybe, all I want is someone to be here for me to hug and cry my heart out.... Maybe, that would help....
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Bad Experiences
First of all, I didn't manage to go to Malaysia for a pedicure. Damn! Oh, well, my bad.... I forgot that its my mother's medical checkup day.... Shit....
Anyway, I thought that things would be better if I had nice cakes for dessert since Jevon and Lifan have been recommending this place located at Dempsey Road called PS Cafe.... Ok, got my moods nice and excited to have sweet desserts ( I mean, who doesn't know by now that I have got a sweet tooth??) When we got there, the place was packed, but we got a pretty nice seat where it overlooks the greenery. Great romantic ambience, except for the little bit of drizzle.. Basically, I like how the place looks, I don't quite like where its located and I definitely hated the service rendered there.
God, given the kind of location, people would think that staffs are trained to be polite, but no.... this one waitress that couldn't control her attitude problem kept hovering around our table. Nevermind that. We were seated al fresco style, and naturally, since it was drizzling, Jevon started smoking. The very unpleasant looking waitress who by the way has attitude that stinks came to tell him not to smoke. Fine, he walked away. So out of curiosity, Lifan and I asked the waitress where else could he smoke if it starts to pour? Stupid waitress started getting all political and defensive and said things like, its beyond her control, the government's ruling blah blah blah. I got so pissed, I told her curtly, I am asking for an alternative, do you have another smoking area? And she was like no. And I completely dismissed her, telling Lifan, I don't understand why is she so defensive over nothing! Is my question very hard to understand? That she has to tell me one whole lot of rubbish, it was just a yes or no question! Stupid waitress, prob that's why she'll forever be there... Bitch... Lousy service and the food ain't that great either. Ginger lovers, pls don't order the Ginger Root Tea, it sucks... Actually, my suggestion? Don't even go there, period.
Now, I just want a pedicure.... I want nice toe nails.... Now its bare, but I got no choice, I have to let my nails take a breather....
Ooh... fave song is on... Yeah, Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend is good... haha, it applies in certain ways... haha!
Anyway, I thought that things would be better if I had nice cakes for dessert since Jevon and Lifan have been recommending this place located at Dempsey Road called PS Cafe.... Ok, got my moods nice and excited to have sweet desserts ( I mean, who doesn't know by now that I have got a sweet tooth??) When we got there, the place was packed, but we got a pretty nice seat where it overlooks the greenery. Great romantic ambience, except for the little bit of drizzle.. Basically, I like how the place looks, I don't quite like where its located and I definitely hated the service rendered there.
God, given the kind of location, people would think that staffs are trained to be polite, but no.... this one waitress that couldn't control her attitude problem kept hovering around our table. Nevermind that. We were seated al fresco style, and naturally, since it was drizzling, Jevon started smoking. The very unpleasant looking waitress who by the way has attitude that stinks came to tell him not to smoke. Fine, he walked away. So out of curiosity, Lifan and I asked the waitress where else could he smoke if it starts to pour? Stupid waitress started getting all political and defensive and said things like, its beyond her control, the government's ruling blah blah blah. I got so pissed, I told her curtly, I am asking for an alternative, do you have another smoking area? And she was like no. And I completely dismissed her, telling Lifan, I don't understand why is she so defensive over nothing! Is my question very hard to understand? That she has to tell me one whole lot of rubbish, it was just a yes or no question! Stupid waitress, prob that's why she'll forever be there... Bitch... Lousy service and the food ain't that great either. Ginger lovers, pls don't order the Ginger Root Tea, it sucks... Actually, my suggestion? Don't even go there, period.
Now, I just want a pedicure.... I want nice toe nails.... Now its bare, but I got no choice, I have to let my nails take a breather....
Ooh... fave song is on... Yeah, Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend is good... haha, it applies in certain ways... haha!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Happy!!!
This whole week felt damn good!!!
The other nite I was itching like crazy for KTV and Siew Pen brought me for 3 whole hours of KTV, sang to my heart's content!!! Haha, 3 hours, and just the 2 of us!! No need to wait for songs or anything!!
Yesterday, he brought me shopping!! Shopping never felt so good!!! Haha, bought so many things, so cool.... hehehe can't stop smiling!!!
Today, or rather later today, we are going for massage!!! Can't wait to get there!!
Tomorrow, we're going to Malaysia!!! Yay!!!! Pedicure!!! SmileZ!!!
The other nite I was itching like crazy for KTV and Siew Pen brought me for 3 whole hours of KTV, sang to my heart's content!!! Haha, 3 hours, and just the 2 of us!! No need to wait for songs or anything!!
Yesterday, he brought me shopping!! Shopping never felt so good!!! Haha, bought so many things, so cool.... hehehe can't stop smiling!!!
Today, or rather later today, we are going for massage!!! Can't wait to get there!!
Tomorrow, we're going to Malaysia!!! Yay!!!! Pedicure!!! SmileZ!!!
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Another Sunday
Another rainy boring Sunday....
Went KTVing on Friday nite, but dunno y, not very fun, maybe coz too many pple already....
Anyways.... Maybe even cleaners nowadays are having too much privileges.... Knocked on my window and told me not to use boxes as rubbish bins. Told me to get trash bags!
I'm like Wat the fuck???? Anyway, I'm still gonna continue using boxes. He can choose not to clear my rubbish, and I'll just complain and get him sacked.... Stupid fucker....
Doesn't he know that beggars can't be choosers???
Bad hair day for me today, maybe my fringe is just getting alittle too long for comfort....
Yvonne arranged for a gathering yesterday,somehow, I didn't receive the sms and so I didn't turn up. Well, I guess I can either blame technology for this or I can blame other 'friends' for being so nonchalent....
Oh well, at least I was smsing that soon to be mother last nite and found out that she's prob due for birth in Oct! So I guess we'll be heading for Jakarta in November..... Ah..... Wat a way to celebrate my birthday huh? Hmmm....
Stupid customers in my shop, thinks that chinchilla's price range is the same as hamsters?! Oh God, how long have you not been back to earth? He thinks that $500 can get him a good dog.
Closet 'ah-lian' feels like telling him, Eh, le cum gong ah? Want cheap things go SPCA la!"
And just as cheapo uncle left my shop, a young punk came in and has no fucking manners lahz. I have a rabbit roaming around my shop, this fucker presumed that the rabbit came out of the enclosure and dumped my roaming rabbit in completely without asking me!! Shocked all my rabbits and they kicked up tons of bedding and made a mess. Men, rude and dumb. His brains and his balls prob swapped positions....
And he didn't even try to help me get my rabbit out.... STUPID!!!!
Enough for a day I guess.... Hope there wouldn't be anymore morons roaming into my shop....
Went KTVing on Friday nite, but dunno y, not very fun, maybe coz too many pple already....
Anyways.... Maybe even cleaners nowadays are having too much privileges.... Knocked on my window and told me not to use boxes as rubbish bins. Told me to get trash bags!
I'm like Wat the fuck???? Anyway, I'm still gonna continue using boxes. He can choose not to clear my rubbish, and I'll just complain and get him sacked.... Stupid fucker....
Doesn't he know that beggars can't be choosers???
Bad hair day for me today, maybe my fringe is just getting alittle too long for comfort....
Yvonne arranged for a gathering yesterday,somehow, I didn't receive the sms and so I didn't turn up. Well, I guess I can either blame technology for this or I can blame other 'friends' for being so nonchalent....
Oh well, at least I was smsing that soon to be mother last nite and found out that she's prob due for birth in Oct! So I guess we'll be heading for Jakarta in November..... Ah..... Wat a way to celebrate my birthday huh? Hmmm....
Stupid customers in my shop, thinks that chinchilla's price range is the same as hamsters?! Oh God, how long have you not been back to earth? He thinks that $500 can get him a good dog.
Closet 'ah-lian' feels like telling him, Eh, le cum gong ah? Want cheap things go SPCA la!"
And just as cheapo uncle left my shop, a young punk came in and has no fucking manners lahz. I have a rabbit roaming around my shop, this fucker presumed that the rabbit came out of the enclosure and dumped my roaming rabbit in completely without asking me!! Shocked all my rabbits and they kicked up tons of bedding and made a mess. Men, rude and dumb. His brains and his balls prob swapped positions....
And he didn't even try to help me get my rabbit out.... STUPID!!!!
Enough for a day I guess.... Hope there wouldn't be anymore morons roaming into my shop....
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Things people say...
I don't know, things that some person said. Should I believe? Why should I believe? After so many lies, after so much hurt, after so much pain....
Maybe you can't promise, but there are lengths that I can go for, but do you understand? No.
If one keeps thinking in a pessimistic way, nothing good is gonna come out of it....
Prob that is wat that is keeping me sane anyway...
Anyway, had a great time with all the rest at M.O.S last nite. Haven't hung out like that for quite some time already... They are a fun group of people, but as usual, I would have to pause and take care of 2 little girls, mainly Lifan and Joy.
Last nite, I learnt it the hard way that we should always have food in the stomach before drinking.... Argh, it hurt real bad.... Also learnt that should never drink on behalf of little girls on empty stomach....
My biggest consolation? I had someone who would stay up and wait for me and go the extra mile to massage my completely drained out feet at 4.30am... Now, That felt awesome.....
Maybe you can't promise, but there are lengths that I can go for, but do you understand? No.
If one keeps thinking in a pessimistic way, nothing good is gonna come out of it....
Prob that is wat that is keeping me sane anyway...
Anyway, had a great time with all the rest at M.O.S last nite. Haven't hung out like that for quite some time already... They are a fun group of people, but as usual, I would have to pause and take care of 2 little girls, mainly Lifan and Joy.
Last nite, I learnt it the hard way that we should always have food in the stomach before drinking.... Argh, it hurt real bad.... Also learnt that should never drink on behalf of little girls on empty stomach....
My biggest consolation? I had someone who would stay up and wait for me and go the extra mile to massage my completely drained out feet at 4.30am... Now, That felt awesome.....
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Being ambiguous...
Is it me being ambiguous? Or do I just not know wat I want? Or its just the way I deal with things? Especially with regards to matters of the heart.
I feel good after cutting my fringe yesterday.... Prob I really love bangs?? Maybe its just something I always wanted instead of boring long limpy fringe just that I never bothered to take the plunge to discover it? And now that I have finally taken the plunge, I'm in love with it!
I guess this should apply to my love life. Back then, I was smsing someone. Our conversation was about being with Mr Right. That person said that maybe I should just talk to Mr Right, and ask if I was Ms Right for Mr Right. I said, I didn't dare, I don't know how to go about. That person then said that maybe Mr Right was just waiting for me to ask. I said maybe, but I still won't do it. In my memory, I never did as that someone said.
Its good to reminisce about old days.... And my bloody hi-fi is playing Heaven Knows of all time... I've already come to terms with the whole situation. I now completely agree that love is noble, I'm not saying that I am noble (although Cally strongly feels so, haha). True love is noble, there's no sense of jealousy, there's no emptiness. Though there are times when you will feel down....
Cry.... just let your tears run down, I often sit alone on my stool, and just cry.... I feel better after that and I won't trouble anyone..... I've been through so much that I don't think I need a shoulder to cry on anymore....
I'm not free of problems, I have my own fair share. I'll learn to deal with it, with or without anyone by my side.
Maybe I'll write a book, be another Lesley Pearse. Only that this love story is from within. Quotes from old letters, lovely sweet nothings written in pastel coloured pens....
Time to stop day-dreaming.....
I feel good after cutting my fringe yesterday.... Prob I really love bangs?? Maybe its just something I always wanted instead of boring long limpy fringe just that I never bothered to take the plunge to discover it? And now that I have finally taken the plunge, I'm in love with it!
I guess this should apply to my love life. Back then, I was smsing someone. Our conversation was about being with Mr Right. That person said that maybe I should just talk to Mr Right, and ask if I was Ms Right for Mr Right. I said, I didn't dare, I don't know how to go about. That person then said that maybe Mr Right was just waiting for me to ask. I said maybe, but I still won't do it. In my memory, I never did as that someone said.
Its good to reminisce about old days.... And my bloody hi-fi is playing Heaven Knows of all time... I've already come to terms with the whole situation. I now completely agree that love is noble, I'm not saying that I am noble (although Cally strongly feels so, haha). True love is noble, there's no sense of jealousy, there's no emptiness. Though there are times when you will feel down....
Cry.... just let your tears run down, I often sit alone on my stool, and just cry.... I feel better after that and I won't trouble anyone..... I've been through so much that I don't think I need a shoulder to cry on anymore....
I'm not free of problems, I have my own fair share. I'll learn to deal with it, with or without anyone by my side.
Maybe I'll write a book, be another Lesley Pearse. Only that this love story is from within. Quotes from old letters, lovely sweet nothings written in pastel coloured pens....
Time to stop day-dreaming.....
Friday, May 04, 2007
Ache ache and more ache....
I guess thats what happens when you work out, after slacking for such a long time....
But it feels good to swim after not swimming for such a long time... Clears your mind and tires you out completely...
Squash was interesting, but definitely not my cup of tea.... We all realised that its not a wise idea for me to keep playing squash, coz at the rate I'm hitting the ball, either the ceiling is gonna come down or the ventilation fan is gonna drop out! Haha... yeah.... It was good to revise how to play table tennis, but only to find out that my standard has dropped so badly I might as well not play.... haha. So I'm sure that I'm so not a sporty person....
Now, my back is aching, shoulder is achng, legs are aching.... awww.... I need a massage.... Argh....
But it feels good to swim after not swimming for such a long time... Clears your mind and tires you out completely...
Squash was interesting, but definitely not my cup of tea.... We all realised that its not a wise idea for me to keep playing squash, coz at the rate I'm hitting the ball, either the ceiling is gonna come down or the ventilation fan is gonna drop out! Haha... yeah.... It was good to revise how to play table tennis, but only to find out that my standard has dropped so badly I might as well not play.... haha. So I'm sure that I'm so not a sporty person....
Now, my back is aching, shoulder is achng, legs are aching.... awww.... I need a massage.... Argh....
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Memories hit in waves
Was sleeping soundly in bed when my baby niece decided to wake me up by standing against my bed and pulling all my books and soft toys that was 'seated' comfortably above my head....
Only to find letters.... Letters and more letters, dated 1999....
Maybe I should have burnt them, but I can't possibly bear to..... I can't bring myself to...
I found more things from my past as I read those letters again. Maybe I shouldn't have, maybe it was God's will.....
Many people have asked me, " What would you do if you could turn back time."
I would be genuinely noble if I meant it when I say that I wouldn't change a thing. But lets all get real....
I would change alot of things.... I wouldn't have chosen Accountancy in NP, I wouldn't have chosen Derrick, I wouldn't have allowed Angel and Joel in my life.
I would have forseen alot of things and be a millionaire now.... Haiz....
Only to find letters.... Letters and more letters, dated 1999....
Maybe I should have burnt them, but I can't possibly bear to..... I can't bring myself to...
I found more things from my past as I read those letters again. Maybe I shouldn't have, maybe it was God's will.....
Many people have asked me, " What would you do if you could turn back time."
I would be genuinely noble if I meant it when I say that I wouldn't change a thing. But lets all get real....
I would change alot of things.... I wouldn't have chosen Accountancy in NP, I wouldn't have chosen Derrick, I wouldn't have allowed Angel and Joel in my life.
I would have forseen alot of things and be a millionaire now.... Haiz....
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Thoughts
I don't know how to feel.... Should I be upset? Should I be overjoyed?
Which is better? To love and to be loved? or just to be loved? Honestly, I don't know the answer... Can love grow over time? Will I ever learn to love someone else as I have loved before?
Am I happy? Is this what I really want? Do I really just wanna be loved?
Why am I going through all this?
I loved Nicholas, but he didn't appreciate, he did love me, but he just didn't appreciate....
I loved Derrick, but he just didn't care... period....
I can now only care alot.... I care for Siew Pen alot, but he loves me and adores me to bits....
Is this wat I really want?
Why do I feel this way? Why do people not reciprocate feelings towards me?
Maybe God just wanna test my patience.... Maybe he hates the fact that I read more love novels than his bible! Argh!!!
Which is better? To love and to be loved? or just to be loved? Honestly, I don't know the answer... Can love grow over time? Will I ever learn to love someone else as I have loved before?
Am I happy? Is this what I really want? Do I really just wanna be loved?
Why am I going through all this?
I loved Nicholas, but he didn't appreciate, he did love me, but he just didn't appreciate....
I loved Derrick, but he just didn't care... period....
I can now only care alot.... I care for Siew Pen alot, but he loves me and adores me to bits....
Is this wat I really want?
Why do I feel this way? Why do people not reciprocate feelings towards me?
Maybe God just wanna test my patience.... Maybe he hates the fact that I read more love novels than his bible! Argh!!!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
.... ....
Just attended a wedding last nite, it was Siew Pen's cousins wedding.... Nice, interesting....
I was just counting exactly how many weddings have I attended since 2004, 4 I think... Constance, Johnny, Yvonne and now Kaiyun, next month, its Jian An's turn.... Every wedding I go for, I tend to shed quiet tears, maybe its the atmosphere, maybe its just watever that is running through my head.... Thoughts that would forever be locked in, forever in my mind....
Songs playing through my head, songs that I love, hate and can relate to... They bring me down and lift me up, all differently....
I sometimes wonder, am I the only one who feels this way?? I know that I"m different from wat I used to be. I feel different, I feel more mellowed, more quiet, more to myself.... Prob that's why I blog, coz I don't want to talk to people, maybe even a voice recorder or a wall would do fine....
Have I genuinely stepped out from depression or have I just been suppressing it, preventing it from blowing up again....
I want to leave this place, I want to dump everything here and leave and never ever come back.... I might even consider losing my memory.... As much as I want to only keep the sweet ones, but I guess that is almost definitely out of the question....
Haiz... I guess I'll feel after lamenting so much today, I dunno why, but maybe its weather.... Or does the weather really understand me??? Does it really have to rain whenever I'm down??? Nevermind....
I was just counting exactly how many weddings have I attended since 2004, 4 I think... Constance, Johnny, Yvonne and now Kaiyun, next month, its Jian An's turn.... Every wedding I go for, I tend to shed quiet tears, maybe its the atmosphere, maybe its just watever that is running through my head.... Thoughts that would forever be locked in, forever in my mind....
Songs playing through my head, songs that I love, hate and can relate to... They bring me down and lift me up, all differently....
I sometimes wonder, am I the only one who feels this way?? I know that I"m different from wat I used to be. I feel different, I feel more mellowed, more quiet, more to myself.... Prob that's why I blog, coz I don't want to talk to people, maybe even a voice recorder or a wall would do fine....
Have I genuinely stepped out from depression or have I just been suppressing it, preventing it from blowing up again....
I want to leave this place, I want to dump everything here and leave and never ever come back.... I might even consider losing my memory.... As much as I want to only keep the sweet ones, but I guess that is almost definitely out of the question....
Haiz... I guess I'll feel after lamenting so much today, I dunno why, but maybe its weather.... Or does the weather really understand me??? Does it really have to rain whenever I'm down??? Nevermind....
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Irritated? Annoyed? Upset?
Finally! My router is fixed.... Waited so long for it....
2 Tuesdays ago....I saw 2 different cars with the same plate number (of course with different alphabets).... I dunno wat that meant.... The very number that carries the meaning of the numbers engraved deep into the old platinum rings.... The very number that rakes up more old memories.... Eversince then, I've been having weird dreams... And the worst part? I refuse to wake up because of those dreams, I didn't want to dash my dreams(literally).... Oh well....
Anyway, I got sick of my dried up hair. So I mustered enough courage to cross the little road from my shop to the newly opened hair salon to get a quick snip.... Serene did a great job! I loved it! I guess I only appreciate a hair cut whenever I'm down....
I don't know what he wants, but I can't blame him. Coz neither do I ....
2 Tuesdays ago....I saw 2 different cars with the same plate number (of course with different alphabets).... I dunno wat that meant.... The very number that carries the meaning of the numbers engraved deep into the old platinum rings.... The very number that rakes up more old memories.... Eversince then, I've been having weird dreams... And the worst part? I refuse to wake up because of those dreams, I didn't want to dash my dreams(literally).... Oh well....
Anyway, I got sick of my dried up hair. So I mustered enough courage to cross the little road from my shop to the newly opened hair salon to get a quick snip.... Serene did a great job! I loved it! I guess I only appreciate a hair cut whenever I'm down....
I don't know what he wants, but I can't blame him. Coz neither do I ....
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
So Excited!!!!
I don't even know why I'm so excited, I may be even more excited than Yvonne!! Prob my own maternal instincts setting in!! haha! So happy for her, back in Nov I was happy for her, getting married and all and hoping for a baby soon. Now, she's pregnant!! So exciting!!
Maybe all these excitement can help to cover my unhappiness. His sudden re-appearance and caused me much grief yet happiness. I dunno which is more though.... He tells me he doesn't know wat he wants, yet he tries to dissuade me from accepting a proposal from another guy... Maybe by the time he knows wat he wants, it might be too late for him???
I'm not prepared to play 2nd fiddle again, he must know that I'm not spare tyre anymore. I won't be the kind to tell him, its ok, I'll still be here waiting for you. I'm not and I won't.... I won't wait any longer.... I don't wanna fall prey into tweety bird's wings again, to be manipulated and misled and to be hurt.... I don't wanna end up heart broken again....
There's definitely this part of me that wants to be with him. Ultimately, we have been together for a long period of time and we've known each other since we were schooling.... But I can't constantly be the stupid one sitting and waiting around while he fools around to have fun and says things like he's not ready yet.... Hmmm.... Enough of my shit.... I'm now just excited over Yvonne's pregnancy and my shop.... I'm just contented to have Siew Pen to care for me and be there for me.... *Grateful Smile*
Maybe all these excitement can help to cover my unhappiness. His sudden re-appearance and caused me much grief yet happiness. I dunno which is more though.... He tells me he doesn't know wat he wants, yet he tries to dissuade me from accepting a proposal from another guy... Maybe by the time he knows wat he wants, it might be too late for him???
I'm not prepared to play 2nd fiddle again, he must know that I'm not spare tyre anymore. I won't be the kind to tell him, its ok, I'll still be here waiting for you. I'm not and I won't.... I won't wait any longer.... I don't wanna fall prey into tweety bird's wings again, to be manipulated and misled and to be hurt.... I don't wanna end up heart broken again....
There's definitely this part of me that wants to be with him. Ultimately, we have been together for a long period of time and we've known each other since we were schooling.... But I can't constantly be the stupid one sitting and waiting around while he fools around to have fun and says things like he's not ready yet.... Hmmm.... Enough of my shit.... I'm now just excited over Yvonne's pregnancy and my shop.... I'm just contented to have Siew Pen to care for me and be there for me.... *Grateful Smile*
Saturday, February 17, 2007
New Beginning? Closure? Road to Nowhere?
I don't know why, maybe everyone else is right. I do have a soft spot and only one person knows it. Maybe that person doesn't know it, maybe that person knows it.
Why did you re-appear again? I have already put you in the back of my mind, stashed away and forgotten. Why did you have to make memories re-play infront of me again? You don't have to do anything. Its not your fault, its mine.
I treasure him alot, though I don't love him as much as I did for you (I never did love anyone as much as you) Maybe I've been hurt too deep, maybe I searched all the wrong places. But I did find him, and he cares, appreciates and loves me to bits. He does everything in his power to make me happy.
Maybe the right people met at the wrong time and place, the wrong people met at the right time and place. Maybe..... Maybe.....
Many questions flood my mind, many questions that cannot be answered by neither him, me nor you.... Probably no one can. Maybe, someday, at the right time and the right place, the right person can finally tell me all the answers. But for now, I'm just taking each day as it comes. I don't want to think too much anymore.
Its been a long time since I blogged, I've been busy, I've kept myself so busy that I have no time for myself. It sucks to be sick especially over the new year. Many things has happened at the shop. I'm beginning to feel that I'm not strong enough to handle the animals, I hate it when they break a limb, I hate it when they die.... Coz I cry when they do.... I miss Blinky, Fluffy, Black Mummy..... I feel sad for Lexus and Lolita.... Its beginning to take a toll on me..... But I'm glad that at the end of the day, he's there for me. A shoulder for me cry on, an open arms for me to hide and feel assured in.
Its 4am in the morning and I can't get to sleep. I'm prob gonna cancel tuition tmrw, I've got no mood, no zest, no drive. At least not for now, too much of an emotional roller-coaster, too much churning in the head.
All I have to say is, Anyeong Hasayoh.... Nah Zhung E Puah....
Why did you re-appear again? I have already put you in the back of my mind, stashed away and forgotten. Why did you have to make memories re-play infront of me again? You don't have to do anything. Its not your fault, its mine.
I treasure him alot, though I don't love him as much as I did for you (I never did love anyone as much as you) Maybe I've been hurt too deep, maybe I searched all the wrong places. But I did find him, and he cares, appreciates and loves me to bits. He does everything in his power to make me happy.
Maybe the right people met at the wrong time and place, the wrong people met at the right time and place. Maybe..... Maybe.....
Many questions flood my mind, many questions that cannot be answered by neither him, me nor you.... Probably no one can. Maybe, someday, at the right time and the right place, the right person can finally tell me all the answers. But for now, I'm just taking each day as it comes. I don't want to think too much anymore.
Its been a long time since I blogged, I've been busy, I've kept myself so busy that I have no time for myself. It sucks to be sick especially over the new year. Many things has happened at the shop. I'm beginning to feel that I'm not strong enough to handle the animals, I hate it when they break a limb, I hate it when they die.... Coz I cry when they do.... I miss Blinky, Fluffy, Black Mummy..... I feel sad for Lexus and Lolita.... Its beginning to take a toll on me..... But I'm glad that at the end of the day, he's there for me. A shoulder for me cry on, an open arms for me to hide and feel assured in.
Its 4am in the morning and I can't get to sleep. I'm prob gonna cancel tuition tmrw, I've got no mood, no zest, no drive. At least not for now, too much of an emotional roller-coaster, too much churning in the head.
All I have to say is, Anyeong Hasayoh.... Nah Zhung E Puah....
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