Feeling down again

I don't know, but maybe I'm still not over wat happened....

Wat have I done wrong? Why is it every week at this time, I would be sitting here, crying, all by myself with this song playing thru my head over and over again....

You tell me you're in love with me
like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
it's not that I don't wanna stay
but every time you come too close I move away

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know

sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time

I don't wanna be so shy
every time that I'm alone I wonder why
hope that you will wait for me
you'll see that you're the only one for me

I wanna believe in everything that you say
'cause it sounds so good
but if you really want me, move slow
there's things about me you just have to know

sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time

I'll just hang around and you'll see
there's nowhere I'd rather be
if you love me, trust in me
the way that I trust in you

sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time

sometimes I run
sometimes I hide
sometimes I'm scared of you
but all I really want is to hold you tight
treat you right, be with you day and night
baby all I need is time

But really, wat's the point?
Is it being reciprocated? Nope....

8 years ago, I fell in love with a heartless bastard, 8 years later, I'm still in love with the same heartless bastard.

The days crawl by, and I don't know wat I would do when that day comes. I dread every Sat.... I dread every new day.... For years I've been excited about that day.... But now.... Not anymore, coz I know, all those promises, all those things we planned to do, are nothing but bullshit....

Hurt....

Months ago, my ex bf came back into my life.... The reason? Ugly gf dumped him. So as usual, being me, I was there for him.

Recently, he kept telling me things like he misses me, he can't forget me. All talk no action is how I would describe him.

First incident, I called him and asked him if he would accompany me, he said no, very tired. Fine, go home then. Later when I called again, he said he rushed to Malaysia coz his fren's car was broken into. Great, tells me exactly how much you really miss me.

Second incident, I was feeling down and I just wanted someone to accompany me and I asked if he could. He was like, ok but only until blah blah timing. I said forget it...

Third incident, I called him coz Athena wanted to play mahjong. So I asked if he wanted to play, he said, no, he's on his way home and wants to sleep early, very tired. So I'm like ok lorz, go home and sleep lorz. Later in the night, I called him to ask him some questions again and guess what? He was at Boat Quay having dinner with Ervin and Michael. What's worse was he went like its inconvenient to talk to me now. WTF?! Ok lorz, I wanted to meet him that nite, I even went down to his place's carpark, but no.... So I decided, I'd rather spend the nite with Siew Pen than to waste time on people who would just talk shit to me.

Fourth incident, I needed help, all I needed was his presence to help me get out of a situation, could he help me? Nope... He wanted to sleep.... And he had the cheek to call me at 1+ am to say that he is at home. So wat? By now I don't really care anymore! How many times have you dropped me off? How many time have you let me down?

Today, you tell me that you threw away our photo album! Who are you to throw it away anyway?! I paid for it! And I told you before already that if you want to throw it away, give it back to me! And he had the audacity to tell me not to bother him! Hey! Who bothered who? You came crawling back looking for answers when your ugly gf dumped you and now you say that I'm bothering you? Fucking Bastard!! Nicholas Cheah Kuan Wei.... You fucking watch out....