....????

Hmmmm... its Thursday already!!!! still rainy.... its really getting on my nerves... something about rainy days that makes me lethargic, or does that apply to everyone?? mmm... watever.... Well... I did manage to crawl out of bed this morning at 8.45am to see the doctor about my blood test, turns out fine, no problem, but the doctor said that if I do hurt my leg again, the pain and swell is bound to be back... Sux doesn't it.... Everything in my life now seems pretty sucky... or did the realisation only kicked in after I watch Bridget Jones Diary??

Can I say that my life is pretty similar?? Nono, I'm not in television business.... Well.... Daniel Cleaver seems like Nic whereas Mark Darcy seems like Derrick.... okok... I'm in dream world.... I'm frustrated so just let me vent alrite???? I've got enough sucky things coming my way already....

Sex sux, love life's boring coz partner is interning in a bank and holds committee title in CCA in University, is also a business partner in a internet marketing business and gives tuition to 3 kids.... Well... he's not exactly strapped for cash, but he's definitely pushing himself to the limit.... ok, basically yes, my problem lies with his lack of time or rather his inability to juggle his many many works and family time.... I'm almost living with him already, but the only time we have together is probably the wee hours of the mornings on a normal basis, and yes that's when I'm dead asleep.... Internship's fine.... everyone goes through it at one time or another, but CCA at University level??? Okok, I had my share of CCA when I was in polytechnic, but I made sure they didn't get to push me around expecting me to free up my time for this event and that event and brain-storming and this and that and yes RUBBISH!!! Yes committee members are the board of morons that hold the retarded club together, but please don't do things in an inefficient way.... Ok... I'm talking about a group of university guys that are in the mid 20s already??? Yes, I'm not older but from the way they carried out their jobs, I would say one word... disappointing.... never believed that uni students could be so moronic, can't even get a simple thing done efficiently... alrite enough about morons, okok, I don't have anything else to complain, yes he comes home early from work, cancel tuition classes to come home earlier, but most of the time he's on the net checking his stuffs and all, he's perpetually glued to the computer.... Like tonight, I said I wanna go home, Derrick wouldn't let me, said wanna keep company, but he's got the internet marketing meeting and God knows what time he'll be home!!! Yes, I don't deny he tries to make time for me, he comes home for lunch, well.... Nevermind.... Sometimes I ask myself, do I really love him?? Do I want him??? I did love him and I did want him before, but is it still the same??? Yes it is, just that I'm not so passionate as before, I'm used to just hugs and good night pecks and sleep.... Some people might not totally agree with me, but honestly, I need to feel needed, I need to feel wanted and with Derrick, I don't, even though he keeps telling me that he loves me but that's just not enough and I'm just getting used to it.... Used to ....... nevermind.....

I've got to go, need to meet my mum, Derrick just saw that I've started to blog again and his facial expressions were different before he left the house after my mum called.... Whatever his problem was.... I don't know, I won't ask.... not anymore, it's probably something about me again.... He thinks that I'm thinking silly stuffs.... well I'm not thinking silly stuffs.... I just think that I"m neglected and I Am!! and that I'm not needed nor wanted as well... Meanwhile, I'll just get used to it....