Saturday, December 15, 2007

Hurt...

Men. They lie. They hurt.They abuse. They take things for granted. And at the end of the day, I bear the brunt of it all.

My opinions, thoughts and feelings always falls on deaf ears. My suggestions either get compromised or thrown out the window without second consideration. In the end, they always say to me,"I should have listened to you." But honestly, what is the point of saying all that??? The damage has already been done and what's done cannot be undone! These people don't know what they're doing, and they refuse to admit it openly! Why?!?!?! And irony of it all??? They tell you the same thing," I Love You."

Bullshit.

Eversince Derrick, I've sealed myself shut and I never cried again, at least not for another undeserving guy. Not until recently, when these people entered my life and reminded me how horrible it was to be made upset and taught me how to cry again....

Its a fine line between love and hate and now, I'm trying very hard to keep my balance on that very fine line.... They bring my emotions on a roller coaster ride, so bad that I feel like I'm going to collapse. Actually, sometimes I wish I could just collapse and drop dead. I didn't sleep at all last night, got home at 7am and thought I could catch a nap til 9am, but no, I was wrong....

That call, that one god damn call, made me sleepless, it made me realise that everything, EVERYTHING was all for NOTHING. Either nothing should have been done right from the beginning or should hold out right to the end if something had already begun... But it seems that some people like to have things done halfway... What can I say?? My stand had never mattered right from the beginning, if it had, then things wouldn't be where they are now... Its 6+ already, no picture, no sound....

I hate this feeling... you once made me the happiest person on earth, but u have also brought me to the lowest possible. This is worse than heart wrenching. You were someone I trusted, someone I finally could open my heart to, but u were just like the rest... I carry the pink bath silvers everywhere I go, but I don't see why I should do so anymore... All those words on the cards, bullshit. I waited in the shop today, hoping to get a surprise, but I never got it...

You only started smsing me awhile ago.... Your excuse was money.... Since you think of me as someone who only stick with guys who are rich, then maybe, you are very right. We shouldn't be together because you just hurled insult at me...

3 comments:

Artist said...

You know I dun mean to, and I have always wanted to make you the happiest person on earth. Money was just one of the many reasons I feel that doesn't allow me to make you the happiest ger on earth. At the end of it all, I still insist, I love you.

The fact that I constantly change to adapt to whatever your needs are, is that I only want you to be happy.

If you are avoiding me, know that I am not avoiding you, and will always wait for you to be back with me, despite knowing you are with someone else at this point of time.

I still love you, I still miss you, and I have always wanted you and still want you.

I am still waiting.

Anonymous said...

It's a good time to look at your character and how people percieve you. Why the same things keep happening to you? Its more of your fault then others fault.

ThinkBitch said...

And being a crazy bitch all the time, doesn't make you any less deserving. Time for a change girl.