Its been a long time since i wrote in here... Xmas came and left, the new year is here... hmmm, I don't know whether I should say its a good start or a bad start. Good start in the sense that I've gotten rid of an exhausting relationship, bad start in the sense that I've given up on the relationship... Grace called me last night, while I was at East Coast with Denise and Geri, trying to run away from a bloody old stalker who tried to 'jerk off' while looking at us, then tried to follow wherever we went.... Sux, can't even sit in peace at the beach.... oh yah, back to Grace... she's very realistic now when it comes to relationships, I wouldn't blame her for thinking that way, after all she has been through... as much as I always respect her, I still always give my all in the relationship, without holding back. She told me, every relationship is like going to a casino, you only have $100 with you, you wouldn't continue gambling after you've lost $50 have you? unless you want to end up in debts! But I think I did... I went too far, I've lost.... The winner takes it all, the loser standing small just totally describes my feelings now.... then I told Denise, I need to keep hearing the song, Let The Music Heal Your Soul... haha, ironically, that song was my pride and joy, after our class won the competition with that song, but now, it has become my theme song after this break-up.... and when you thought this was the worst thing, I'm working shift hours.... I'm typing this as I work... Took too long an illegal break just now, spoke to Denise.... now that I'm sitting at my desk and thinking, I'm like taking an emotional roller coaster, ups and down.... angry, sad etc etc... sux... sux big time... but it will go into the big cupboard, to be left neglected, untreated, locked up and then forgotten... I can only pray that all these locked up cupboards will never be opened again.... it would only mean my downfall....
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