24/1/2005

A month ago today, 24/12/2004, Xmas eve... his birthday was a month ago.... a month ago, I had just woken up, and preparing to go to McDonald's for breakfast with him.... I was so happy, spending his 22nd birthday with him, going for breakfast together with him and Faith and at night we were going to attend Mid-night Mass together.... But 1 month later, things are drastically different.... No more smiles, no more Derrick by my side.... nothing.... nothing at all....

I went shopping again yesterday..... Went to Bugis with Sebastian.... ended up buying 2 more skirts.... spent another $56.... I'm just so dead.... I think I need to get shoes and tops.... I really need to go shopping.... I also need Derrick.... I was contemplating 3 skirts, but I didn't get the 3rd one coz Derrick said he didn't like dusty pink, he said it looks dirty.... so I only bought baby blue and white....

Grace smsed me in chinese last night, she said Qianling, kan kai yi dian, ming tian yi ding hui gen mei hao, wan an! but in chinese charaters, but she used the wrong charaters for my chinese name....but nvm.... I was sitting at the playground at my place from 12am til 3.30am.... Sat there with Sebastian, talked abt many stuffs.... The D's we call it...

I miss Derrick alot.... I put his picture back as my wallpaper, but I realised that it was quite pointless coz my phone hardly rings anymore....

Here's another song, by Celine Dion from Falling Into You Album, I Don't Know.
A mountain of stone,
a door of steel
Can't stand in my way,
I'd go on

Brutal machines,
unbending laws
Can't slow me down,
I'd go on

I've learned how to deal
and when to fight
I know what's real,
I know what's right
I'm not afraid,
a wounded dove
I can be tender
in a world so tough

I'm sure I could face
the bitter cold
But life without you,
I don't know

The winds of the heart
can blow me down
But I get right up
and I stand my ground
I've tasted fear,
my share of pain
The wasted tears
of love in vain

I've held you tight,
pushed you away
Now with all my might
I beg you to stay
I'm sure I could face
the bitter cold
But life without you,
I don't know

I know what I want,
I know what I need
But there's just one thing
I must believe
Deep in the night
by a dying flame
You will be there
when I call your name

I'm sure I could face
the bitter cold
But life without you,
I don't know

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

Very sad song.... sounds like me... sounds just like me....